Surviving A Novel I Don't Remember: A Tutor's Guide To Staying Alive
Chapter 50: "Do I make you uncomfortable?"
The air in the Forbidden Garden was heavy with the scent of night-blooming jasmine and the ozone-like hum of the magic keeping the tropical plants alive in the dark.
As Julian knelt by the patch of Moon-Ferns, the blue light cast sharp, ethereal shadows across his face, making him look less like a disgraced noble and more like a spirit belonging to the garden itself.
Julian’s focus was singular.
He had discovered that when looking at people, he could see their affection level and name, as well as what they were feeling at the moment.
But when looking at other living things like plants, he could see their details. Just like he saw the details of the withering and frozen apple tree back in the Duchy.
And now, looking at the plants, a translucent purple screen was displayed right in front of them with just the information to affirm Julian that he wasn’t picking the wrong plant.
He reached out, his fingers trembling slightly as they brushed the glowing fronds. He could feel the cool, vibrating energy of the plant, and for some reason, he felt nervous.
Maybe it was because the opportunity came too easily that it felt unreal. Well, so many things felt unreal in this world.
’One snip. That’s all I need.’
But as he reached into his sleeve to get the harvesting knife from his inventory, he realized the Duke had moved from his watch post. Alaric wasn’t leaning against the pillar anymore; he had walked over and was standing directly behind Julian, his shadow swallowing Julian’s smaller frame.
"You look at these plants like they’re the most precious things in the Empire." The Duke’s voice was low, sounding closer than before.
Julian didn’t look up, his heart hammering for an entirely different reason now. "In a way, they are, Your Grace. They possess properties that... the world often forgets to appreciate."
"Is that why you look at everything with such intensity?" Alaric asked.
Suddenly, the Duke knelt. The grass crunched under his weight, and for a moment, Julian felt trapped between the glowing ferns and the massive, warm presence of the man beside him.
Alaric reached out, but he didn’t touch the plants. He reached toward Julian’s head, his large hand hesitating before gently plucking a stray white petal that had fallen from an overhanging branch into Julian’s hair.
Julian froze. To him, it was a moment of extreme tension—was the Duke suspicious? He wondered.
’Was he checking for hidden tools?’ He stayed perfectly still, his eyes fixed on the blue ferns.
"You’re very quiet tonight, Julian," the Duke whispered. It was the first time he had used Julian’s name, and the lack of the last name ’Astrea’ made the air feel dangerously thin.
Julian just couldn’t understand. What was going on right now? He should be grabbing the moon-ferns and liquid starlight and putting them in his inventory, but he couldn’t move. Just what was this situation?
His breath was hitched with a little panic, but then his eyes fell on the Duke’s, warm and considerately looking at him, as if wishing to say something but found no words to express it.
This scene was a painting of yearning: the fearsome War God of the North, bathed in moonlight, looking at his son’s tutor with an expression of profound, terrifying confusion and growing hunger. Alaric’s fingers lingered near Julian’s temple for a second too long, his thumb brushing the very edge of Julian’s hairline.
For the Duke, the ’Conduct’ Julian had scolded him for was failing again. He wasn’t thinking about the Emperor, or his grief, or his reputation. He wasn’t even thinking about his late wife, whom he had been mourning until a few weeks back.
He was simply thinking about how the blue light made Julian’s eyes look like shattered glass, and how—despite the heat of the South—Julian was the only thing that felt like an oasis.
Julian, however, did not feel this softness. Not when he was in survival mode.
’He’s too close. I can’t harvest the fern if he’s this close. I need to move him.’
But his heart thumped, and his breath got caught... all in a sense of panic.
"Your heart is very loud tonight," the Duke suddenly said, as if he had heard Julian’s panicking heart loud and clear. "Are you feeling disturbed by my actions?"
"W-well," Julian stuttered and then rolled his eyes to look at the Duke’s hand gently grazing the side of his temple.
His touch was terrifying, that’s for sure.
"Do I make you uncomfortable?"
Julian immediately brought his hands forward to clear up that misunderstanding before it festered.
"No, not at all, Your Grace." He said and then pursed his lips. "It’s just..."
How was he going to move the Duke from this spot? He wondered.
But the Duke interpreted Julian’s forced silence as best as he could. He thought Julian was feeling the same kind of confusion he felt.
He thought Julian was also having these... Complicated feelings.
"I... I think I see a more vibrant specimen over there," Julian said, his voice a bit higher than usual as he scrambled to his feet, narrowly avoiding the Duke’s hand. He pointed toward a stone basin of Liquid Starlight a few feet away. "The way the light reflects in the water... It’s fascinating, isn’t it?"
He felt he had successfully drawn the Duke’s attention away and changed the topic from whatever it had just been. He wouldn’t even know because he wasn’t even paying attention to what the Duke had been saying.
And as the Duke stood up slowly, he looked at his fingers curling as if trying to hold onto the warmth of the brief contact.
He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, his eyes lighting with that excitement he didn’t know he could ever feel again.
"Yes. Fascinating," he said as his lips curled warmly. "It truly is."
Julian hurried toward the basin, his mind racing. He had to act now while the Duke was still in his strange, dazed mood.
But then, the system chimed.
> [NOTIFICATION: Environmental Opportunity Detected]
> The Duke is ’Distracted by Internal Conflict’. Stealth actions are 25% more likely to succeed.
As Julian leaned over the basin, pretending to marvel at the Liquid Starlight, he saw the Duke looking up at the moon, his expression haunted and soft.
He used this opportunity to snip one of the liquid starlight from its roots and hid it in his inventory.
He breathed out, his heavy heart finally finding a little sense of relief. That’s one down. One more to go.