[Third Person Pov]

"Where do I even begin with that?" Madeline asked, staring at the two of them in complete exasperation like she wasn't even sure what part of the conversation she was supposed to react to first.

Peter was still staring at MJ in disbelief. "Now why would you go and word it like that?!"

MJ looked back at him with obvious amusement. "Was anything I said wrong?"

"Yes," Peter said immediately. He reached over and gently grabbed her chin, pulling her face a little closer to his. "You're much more to me than just my mistress, so don't go belittling yourself like that."

"Stop," MJ muttered, already getting embarrassed as she pushed his face away from her. Her cheeks were quickly turning warm from the attention.

Peter just grinned to himself, clearly satisfied by the reaction he got out of her. Madeline sat there staring at the two of them with several emotions fighting for dominance across her face. Confusion, disbelief, irritation, secondhand embarrassment. Eventually she groaned and started rubbing at her temple.

"You two are giving me a migraine," Madeline complained. "It's one thing after another with you both. Honestly MJ, I would've preferred if you just told me you were pregnant."

"Absolutely not, are you serious?" MJ asked immediately, staring at her mother like she'd completely lost her mind.

"No, actually I'm just saying things at this point because of how shocked I am," Madeline admitted as she got up and moved to sit across from them instead of beside them. "Though I am at least glad the two of you are responsible and safe."

"One of us has to be," MJ said while side-eyeing Peter.

Peter immediately turned to look at her. "Don't you dare even go there, missy, because you enjoy it just as much as I do—"

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" Madeline suddenly screeched while covering both ears. "I'm sitting right here, for Christ's sake! Do you two seriously have no shame?! Do you honestly think I want to sit here listening to the fact that my daughter likes getting cummed in?!"

Peter immediately lost it. He doubled over laughing uncontrollably while MJ let out a horrified noise and buried her face in her hands. "Oh my God, mom!"

Peter's face was already turning red as he struggled to breathe through his laughter. "I can't believe you just said that—"

"Well maybe stop oversharing then!" Madeline shot back, equally horrified that she'd even had to say it out loud in the first place.

MJ slowly sank further into the couch in embarrassment while Peter continued wheezing beside her.

"Just... please," Madeline groaned after a moment, once she'd regained some composure. "Walk me through this whole thing slowly and help me understand how your relationship somehow became this complicated and messy."

It took another minute before Peter finally stopped laughing enough for either of them to speak properly again.

Once they settled down, Peter and MJ ended up explaining almost everything to her. They told her about how Peter's relationship with Gwen turned into a harem, how it started, how they made it work, and the boundaries they'd established over time.

By the end of it Madeline was leaning back against the couch, staring blankly up at the ceiling for several long seconds while silently processing everything she'd just heard.

"I am honestly speechless," she finally admitted. "But... as long as the two of you are genuinely happy and comfortable with this arrangement, then I suppose it isn't really my place to judge."

.

Peter gave her guilty smile while rubbing the back of his neck. At this point he strongly suspected they'd overwhelmed Madeline so thoroughly that she'd mentally given up trying to make sense of their nonsense.

"So..." Peter said carefully, "should we go back to talking about the super soldier serum and what animals you'd want for it?"

"Yes. Please," Madeline groaned. "Anything to get us off this conversation."

That earned a small laugh from both Peter and MJ.

Madeline took a moment to collect herself before speaking again. "Although I'm not entirely sure about the other animals, the one I'm absolutely certain about is a bear."

"A bear?" MJ asked in surprise.

Madeline nodded, looking slightly bashful now. "I've always loved bears. They're probably my favorite animals."

"You know, speaking of bears..." Peter said slowly before glancing over at MJ with a faint grin.

MJ immediately smiled and nodded. "I was thinking about her too. I've actually still been keeping in contact with her. Her and her kids have been adapting pretty well to living here."

"What?" Madeline asked, now thoroughly confused again.

MJ waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, it's nothing. There was this Russian woman that got turned into a giant bear and tried to kill us once. She was actually pretty nice."

Madeline blinked at her, "...What?"

Peter and MJ shared a quick giggle before they all focused back on the task at hand. Peter leaned forward slightly, rubbing his chin as he thought it over. "So bears, huh… There are plenty to choose from. You've got your standard brown bears, black bears, polar bears, panda bears and koala bears—" 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝙚𝙬𝓮𝙗𝒏𝙤𝒗𝙚𝙡.𝒄𝒐𝓶

"Koalas are actually marsupials rather than bears, fun fact" MJ said raising a finger and looking proud of herself.

"Nerd" Peter didn't hesitate to say, earning him a punch to the arm by MJ, "Ouch"

Madeline tilted her head, looking a little overwhelmed by the options. "Uhhh, I haven't really considered it that deeply yet. What do you suggest?"

"Polar bears, without a doubt," Peter said confidently, while MJ nodded firmly in agreement beside him. "They're the absolute strongest of the bunch, built like absolute tanks. Not to mention they have the added bonus of being incredible swimmers. Those guys can swim for miles in freezing water without breaking a sweat."

"I actually do like swimming…" Madeline muttered to herself, her expression turning thoughtful as she considered it. She gave a small nod after a moment, clearly warming up to the idea.

After a brief pause, she continued, "Ooh, but I also want an animal that can fly. You told me Lydia has something that flies, right? So I want something like that too. Maybe I should pick three different animals—one for the skies, one from the land, and the last one from the ocean. That way I cover all the bases."

"For flight, a bat could be a solid pick," Peter suggested, his eyes lighting up with enthusiasm. "They're actually the fastest flying mammals, capable of reaching speeds up to a hundred miles per hour in short bursts."

Madeline's eyebrows shot up. "Are you trying to turn me into a vampire?! I don't want to go around feasting on the blood of innocent people, thank you very much," she scoffed, crossing her arms with clear distaste.

Peter laughed and shot her an amused, slightly weird look. "Most bats eat fruit and nectar. Out of like 1,400 different bat species, only three of them are the vampire types that drink blood. The rest are basically just cute little flying mammals doing their thing."

"…Oh," Madeline muttered, her cheeks flushing a bit with mild embarrassment.

Peter kept going, sensing he was starting to win her over. "Plus, echolocation is seriously overpowered. You'd basically never lose anything again. You could map out an entire room in your head with just one click or squeak and know exactly where everything is, even in total darkness."

Madeline's eyes narrowed in thought. "Hmm… I do lose things pretty easily, so being able to map out an entire room like that would definitely help. I'll keep it in mind while I think everything over."

"As for the last one, from the ocean," MJ chimed in smoothly, jumping back into the conversation, "the most logical choice would probably be an octopus. Not only are they incredibly flexible and agile, but they've also got insane regeneration abilities and can camouflage themselves almost perfectly. That's basically three different powers rolled into one."

Madeline nodded slowly, processing the suggestion. "That's not a terrible idea, per se… I'll think about all of this carefully and give it some serious thought. I'll get back to you once I've made my final decision. I want to do some research of my own first before giving the okay—if that's alright with you guys."

Peter and MJ just stared at her in silence for a long moment, their expressions a mix of surprise and quiet approval.

"What? What is it? Why are you both looking at me like that?" Madeline asked suspiciously, glancing back and forth between them.

"No, nothing bad," Peter said with a small grin, raising his hands innocently. MJ nodded along with him. "I'm just genuinely surprised, that's all. Doing your own research before committing to something big like this is actually really smart. A lot of people wouldn't even think to do that—they'd just jump right in."

Madeline stared back at the both of them with a completely flat expression. "Are you trying to offend me? Because if you are, it's working. I feel insulted right now."

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