You're Strong But Now You're Mine-Chapter 48 Review and Blame Shifting

"Sorry."

After crossing Mirror Lake, skirting the Lecture Plaza, and winding their way back through the labyrinthine Eighteenth Street while dodging raving drunks, gamblers with broken limbs, and night dwellers in search of pleasure, Le Yu and Yin Yinyin finally made it back to the "Tooth, Hemorrhoids, and Iron Bones" Clinic.

While checking their wounds in the basement, Yin Yinyin suddenly blurted this out, leaving Le Yu a bit confused, "Huh?"

"Earlier, I refused the hostage exchange and forced Kui Zhao to release you by tough tactics, which put you at great risk," Yin Yinyin took off the long straight black wig, revealing a head of white hair, "Honestly, I couldn’t be sure if Kui Zhao really would bend to that threat for his daughter. Your chances of dying were actually pretty high."

He paused, then explained, "But at that moment, it was the best solution. Kui Zhao set off a Light Burst Bullet, so the nearby Patrol Execution Guards were bound to hear and come. At first, Kui Zhao tried to stall for time with words, then he offered the hostage swap to stall even more and look for a chance to strike back. From the moment we were exposed, we were never on equal footing with Kui Zhao—he had the advantage in time, location, and people. This was the only way I could keep him from fighting back."

"So that’s what it was..." Le Yu nodded, showing he understood. In fact, when they left, they had already run into the Patrol Execution Guards rushing to the incident, so he clearly realized how dangerous that showdown in the dark had been.

If Yin Yinyin hadn’t been that decisive, if they’d actually tried the hostage exchange, then even if it succeeded, they’d already have been surrounded—no need for a real encirclement; just a few Patrol Guards providing light and Kui Zhao could’ve kept them trapped.

Le Yu asked with curiosity, "If Kui Zhao hadn’t let me go, what then?"

Yin Yinyin said, "I would have sent your sister away overnight. Since I don’t know if you have the habit of keeping secret intel, I would’ve burned down your house, too, to wrap it all up."

He even had the aftermath all planned out. Classic you... Le Yu wasn’t even surprised. "So why are you apologizing to me?"

"In theory, I should’ve prioritized the life of a White Night Walker. Even though things turned out well, it came at great risk to you," Yin Yinyin said, "It’s always easy to be ruthless to others. By logic, I ought to seek your forgiveness after the fact."

Le Yu asked, "Do you really feel guilty?"

"Of course, I value the lives of my companions, and I feel uneasy about what I did," Yin Yinyin said, "After all, I’m a White Night Walker too. Respecting life is fundamental for us. Next time, I should handle things better."

"Bullshit."

"Like hell you wouldn’t pull this again."

But since Yin Yinyin was already putting it that way, Le Yu could only say, "Well, since you’re so sincerely begging for my forgiveness, I’ll be all magnanimous and forgive you."

"So,"

Yin Yinyin pulled his pants on and asked, "Now it’s your turn to explain—why did you double back?"

"Huh?"

"According to the plan, you should have broken the streetlight to draw Kui Zhao and Dong Heng’s first wave of attention, and then immediately fled. But you clearly broke the plan. Because you turned back, Kui Zhao had an opening to grab you, making tonight’s assassination a lot more convoluted—and creating lingering problems. Even now, I’m not sure if I’ve erased all the traces; for all I know, Kui Zhao might haul both of us to the Statistical Department for a brutal interrogation tomorrow."

Yin Yinyin put on a shirt and turned to stare at Le Yu, "So, got your story straight?"

"You got it twisted, man. If I hadn’t turned back to block Kui Zhao, you’d be the one getting grilled at the Statistical Department right now," Le Yu was clearly not buying it, "The minute Kui Zhao pulled out the Light Burst Bullet, our original plan was toast. Not only did you fail to take out Dong Heng instantly, you got ganged up on by Dong Heng and Kui Zhao. Of course I had to improvise."

"You assume I couldn’t handle myself in front of Kui Zhao and Dong Heng?" Yin Yinyin frowned, "Even if they had access to light, in the shadowed areas near the bushes and with the confusion of attack, I still had a good chance. Best-case scenario, I could lure both of them into the bushes and finish them off in the dark."

"Besides, the failure you described is just an unproven assumption. Reality is, you broke the plan and caused a mess."

Le Yu said, frustrated, "How was I supposed to know Wolf Eagle Fist would be that fast... And right when he finished, the Light Burst Bullet went off; I couldn’t even fight back. I still think I made the right call in the moment. It’s not that I was useless, just that the enemy was too damn tricky. Under normal circumstances, I should’ve just harassed Kui Zhao then slipped away."

That made Le Yu suddenly remember a cartoon he saw in a past life: a goat sees a tiger running toward him, calmly works out his options, decides to kneel and slide under the tiger, then use his horns to slice the tiger’s belly and take it out instead.

But as soon as the goat kneels, the tiger just bites its neck right then and there.

"Well, sure, the plan and reality were just a teeny bit off, but that doesn’t mean the plan was wrong."

"So why did you turn back?"

"What do you think? If I hadn’t turned back, you’d be dead for sure..."

"Then why did you save me?"

Yin Yinyin wiped off his makeup, face expressionless, "So-called ’saving’ is an act of kindness you do only when you have something to spare. That’s why all I could do was gamble your life with Kui Zhao—I didn’t have the spare strength to save you. So Kui Zhao made sure to stay in the light and avoid a disadvantage, keeping his best defense. That was his ideal way to keep you safe."

"You couldn’t even protect yourself at that point, and you went back to stop Kui Zhao. That was plain dumb. If you hadn’t turned back, worst-case, only I would’ve died; but by turning back, the worst case was both of us ended up dead."

Le Yu shook his head, "But I thought, if I did turn back, maybe we could get rid of Kui Zhao, too, and be done with it."

"Anticipate failure before you think about victory. That’s common sense."

"Daring to risk it is what brings victory. That’s my kind of common sense."

"But didn’t you say you were scared of dying?" Yin Yinyin asked, "What you did doesn’t look like something a person afraid of death would ever do."

Le Yu froze for a second and was silent before he replied, "I’m scared of dying, but I’m also scared of watching a friend die in front of me."

"Friend..."

Yin Yinyin rolled that word around, then asked, "You call someone you’ve only met three times a ’friend’? You... really have no one else to talk to, do you?"

"He was right."

"Le Yu never really thought about it, but in his current network, Yin Yinyin actually played a very special role. He was the only one who knew all of Qian Yuliu’s identities, and the only one who could give him the right advice."

Qian Yuya wasn’t appealing? Sure, but for her own safety, Le Yu couldn’t talk to her about these hefty realities.

Chen Fu wasn’t a sycophant? Totally, but he was materialistic. Le Yu didn’t even dare make him a White Night Walker, let alone discuss rebellion with him.

"Ever since crossing over into Qian Yuliu’s body, killing Lin Jinyao, meeting Qian Yuya—Le Yu had been stumbling around, lost and confused. It wasn’t until he connected with Yin Yinyin that he slowly started to find his footing and integrate into this world."

"It wasn’t just about finding an organization. For Le Yu, Yin Yinyin was basically the ’newbie guide,’ ’mole training expert,’ or even like a talking chatbot."

"Even though Yin Yinyin was arrogant and kept saying ’that’s common sense,’ and with that head of white hair looked like some kind of punk, he was still the only crime specialist Le Yu felt comfortable chatting with. If Qian Yuya was his little spiritual harbor, Yin Yinyin was pretty much Gandalf in a ring."

"So when he saw Yin Yinyin facing mortal danger, Le Yu didn’t hesitate—quickly judged the situation and jumped in. If Yin Yinyin died, then Le Yu would lose his emotional trash can, his organization contact, his crime consultant, his free hemorrhoid doctor..."

"And, the one friend he’d made after coming to this world—not inherited from Qian Yuliu, but one he built from scratch himself..."

Le Yu didn’t answer, and Yin Yinyin didn’t press. After a while, Yin Yinyin asked, "How’s your injury?"

"Think my rib’s broken. Kui Zhao really gave me a good kick," Le Yu looked at his bruised chest, pressed it, and it actually caved in.

"I can set you up for light therapy here," Yin Yinyin switched on the basement’s incandescent lamp and concave lens, "But I don’t have any Numb Sleep Soup... I could fetch you a stick to bite down on."

"No need, I’m not afraid of pain."

Le Yu lay down on the basement bed, suddenly realizing this was the first surgery he’d ever had in a shady clinic in either of his lifetimes.

"It’s easy to be ruthless to others, but hard to do the same to yourself... I thought that was common sense, but it’s the opposite with you."

Yin Yinyin put on his gloves, the light gathering in his hands into a warm orb.

"Maybe, you’re just someone I can’t figure out with common sense."