You Will Only Be Mine-Chapter 363: Gone

I lay there with Ai still on top of me snuggling her head against my chest. The feeling was a little ticklish but very welcomed. I don’t know how long it has been since we are in this state but honestly, I am not complaining. I had to like for almost a week being away from her and this does not compare to being away from her for a day. That is because, at that time, her life was not in danger.

I held her closer but soon the hard floor started showing its colours and I felt my body getting a little stiff. Yeah, long cuddles are best in beds. I got up still having Ai in my arms and she looked up at me confused as to what I was doing. I kissed her forehead and grabbed her before getting up awards with her still clung to me. Archimedes was not lying when he created the theory about the center of mass. This is hard when you don’t know how to balance yourself.

Ai though, seemed mostly unbothered by it. She clung to me and wrapped her legs around me hugging me like a little koala. I could feel all her coldness enveloping me and it was like hugging a cold soft toy. To think she has so much strength in her yet her body is mostly so soft all around is a wonder on how it works. I am in some ways like her too but I still have held onto the sturdiness of my muscles more.

"Ai, does it feel worse to hug me now that I am more muscular?" I asked her and she still had her head buried in my neck. I pat her back to get an answer. "Earth to Shiba Ai."

"Shiba…..?!" Ai ended up yelling. I saw her face turn into a tomato and also a steam engine. Steam was practically coming out of her head because of how much I felt her face heat up. "Yes I would love to marry you!" she yelled again.

"There are still some years we have to gain before legally getting married Ai," I said and she puffed her cheeks sulking. "But Shiba Ai does have a nice ring to it. I would love to hear that."

"Yea!" she cheered and I kissed her head. Looks like my original question was just drowned in the conversation but I didn’t mind. Ai got all of her body glued to me again so it seems like she doesn’t mind this new build.

I walked us to the bedroom and gently placed her on the bed first but she refused to let go. Defeated, I ended up going with her flow and lay down on top of her having my head rest on her collarbone. She started gently tracing my hair with her fingers and even the slightest touch by her was so reassuring I could fall asleep. Actually, my eyes did start feeling a bit droopy.

"I missed caressing your hair like this," Ai whispered to me and I nodded my head. Right now, in this moment. I had everything I needed. The world could end in a moment and I wouldn’t care at all. I was with the person I love resting on her while she was tending to me. What more can a guy ask for?

"Tsubaki Kazu-kun…" she muttered but I could hear it loud and clear. "I like that name a lot too."

"We can go with any name you’d like Ai," I whispered back. "As long as you are with me. What name I am being called by means nothing to me."

"I feel the same way," she said and kept caressing my hair.

If I said that my eyes were droopy before, now they were just practically at the closing time. Give me a few more seconds and I would be floating on a cloud while eating grapes. Dreams are amazing sometimes.

"I’m sorry Kazu-kun," Ai said waking me up from my trance. I looked at her and saw a sad expression plastered on her face. Why is Ai sad? What is going on? Huh?

"Wait…sorry for what?" I asked. My brain wasn’t able to work fast enough to find out the reason myself but all Ai did was place a kiss on my head.

"I’m sorry for making things difficult for you," she said, tears slowly welling up in her eyes. "I was supposed to be by your side and fight with you. Not fight against you but still…still…"

"Ai…hey Ai look at me," I quickly got up and cupped her face. I turned over and let her rest on my chest. From as much as I remember about Ai’s past and present. There isn’t something that she should have done that would make her feel like this. Am I missing something? "There, there, no need to be sorry Ai. It’s okay. We are a couple, two different people and there are some times when we have our differences in opinions. Quarrels are very common among couples. Even the best ones out there."

"I thought we were the best one," she diverted from the topic a little and I reassured her.

"Yes we are and that’s why I am saying. Fights, and arguments, are all common amongst couples, and having them sometimes means you two are not hiding your honest opinions just for the sake of the other all the time. Transparency is important you know."

"But still…" I continued, I wanted to cut her there and keep reassuring her but right now getting these thoughts out of her mind is more important. "I promised myself that I will protect you every time you will need me to but I have failed in that. Again and again, to the point, it was you who had to come save me…This isn’t what I wanted."

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"Ai," I gently called out her name and she looked at me. Tears slowly falling down her eyes. I wiped her tears gently and rested her head on my chest again. "You know when I was first ever attacked by a vampire? I thought that day I would lose my life. Surprisingly I didn’t and you know why?"

"Because I was there?" Ai asked and I nodded my head.

"Exactly, I am here right now with you because you were there for me. You protected me and saved my life. If you hadn’t I would have not been able to experience this amazing feeling of being with you. And even after that, the time I got kidnapped. I had nothing to fear. Because I know you have my back," I explained and she looked up unconvinced by my reasoning.

"But after that, I was- "

"Ai, as much as I love you," I cupped her face and brought it close. "You are strong, very strong but you are not invincible. I know me saying that might hurt but you need to understand that."

The irony.

"Then I have to be the strongest for Kazu-kun," she sounded even more unconvinced.

"Exactly, you have to, it’s in the future tense. And not just you, I too have to grow stronger," I said and she looked at me worryingly. "I know I am a target but after seeing what happened, you are also a target Ai. And I cannot just let you be taken away from me again. Also, I can’t be a sitting duck and do nothing to protect myself. We will grow stronger, not you. Not me, but we will grow stronger and that too together."

She looked at me still a little reluctant and unconvinced by my reasoning. No matter how much I would love to reason with her I know how she feels and getting that feeling to leave is not an easy task to do.

Sigh, this is such an annoying situation.

Ai looked like she wanted to say something but before she could I planted my lips on hers. Surprised but still welcoming the gesture, she let me lead the way. There is no place to talk about ideals and all right now. We both are not in the correct place mentally to have that discussion just yet. At least, not by ourselves so if I have to, I’ll distract us from those emotions through physical stimulus.

I pushed her down on the bed deepening the kiss and she wrapped her arms around me pulling me close. Both of our hands were shuffling around each other’s body not feeling close enough with the clothes coming between us. I grabbed Ai’s t-shirt and she grabbed mine as we took off each other’s clothes. We wanted each other. Really bad.

I didn’t need a reason as to why there was this sudden shift between us. Maybe it was because we were deprived of each other’s touch. Maybe it was our desperation wanting to be close. Whatever it was, didn’t matter to me. What I started as a means to distract Ai turned into a carnal desire for her body.

I had no sense of reasoning anymore. All I knew was staring at the person under me covering her naked body out of shyness made me lose my mind and give in to my instincts. It didn’t feel like that was needed. It was understood.

Whatever we did then, just felt right.