Who would study psychology unless they had some issues?!-Chapter 660 - 595: Gradually Returning to Reality

The most important issue for Li Lingling at the moment is being deeply trapped in her trauma memories.

Trauma memories are often stored as bodily sensations and emotional states.

To put it simply, Li Lingling is completely immersed in her inner world; the reality she observes thus becomes a projection of her inner world.

Nan Zhubin uses simple grounding techniques to guide Li Lingling to feel the support of the bed beneath her, the weight and temperature of the blanket, aiming to re-anchor her to a safe point in external reality from the torrent of inner pain.

Directing her attention back to present, neutral bodily sensations enhances her sense of reality.

Only in this way can today’s counseling continue.

Otherwise, even if there’s the "surprise" of "Nan Zhubin’s presence" causing an emotional fluctuation in Li Lingling’s reality, this sense of reality won’t last long. No matter how eloquent Nan Zhubin is in the subsequent counseling, it will be in vain.

After completing these, Nan Zhubin further clarifies Li Lingling’s current state with a "You need rest and quiet now," acknowledging and supporting her, giving her the legitimacy to "rest."

This also sets the tone for Li Lingling’s counseling today.

...

At the moment, upon hearing Nan Zhubin’s words, Li Lingling’s eyes flickered slightly.

Her mouth opened slightly, as if wanting to instinctively refute something.

There’s no need to guess, Nan Zhubin can easily tell that she wants to say something like "But I’m a nurse," "I’m a volunteer," "This is my job."

However, these words were ultimately swallowed down.

This is because it’s Nan Zhubin in front of Li Lingling; if it were any other consultant, they wouldn’t be able to push down this almost instinctive defense from Li Lingling.

If it were any other supervisor or leader, this almost declarative "proclamation" would be even stronger.

This step is crucial because Li Lingling finally accepted the arrangement to "rest."

Even though she may still want to refute it in her heart, this tacit acceptance is still a minimal level of "agreement" and permission for herself.

A kind of breaking the ice.

Next, Nan Zhubin needs to proceed to the second step—

He glanced at Li Lingling’s current posture, then followed her previously dazed gaze to look outside.

"Were you just looking outside?" Nan Zhubin asked.

There was a long silence, without a response.

Nan Zhubin knew that Li Lingling at that time probably didn’t have a very specific thing to "look" at, but was merely spacing out.

But Nan Zhubin just wanted to smoothly transition to the next sentence.

Nan Zhubin posed a question: "Do you want to keep lying with your eyes closed, or shall I help you raise the pillow a bit so you can more comfortably look outside?"

...

The previous interactions were about bringing Li Lingling’s "feelings" back to reality, enabling her to once again become an "observer" of the real world.

But that’s not enough.

Nan Zhubin wants to give Li Lingling another pull, letting her become a "participant" in the real world.

—Letting Li Lingling make a "decision" is the key.

The question Nan Zhubin posed provides the visitor with an extremely simple, non-threatening choice. The focus isn’t on the choice itself, but on handing the decision-making power back to the visitor, combating her feeling of helplessness.

If Li Lingling is willing to let Nan Zhubin help her lift the pillow, that’s great; it’s a change to her environment.

But if Li Lingling wants to maintain the status quo for now, that’s also okay because that too is her "decision."

The essence of trauma is loss of control. By giving the visitor small, pressure-free choices during counseling, it helps Li Lingling regain a sense of control over herself and her environment.

This is a powerful tool for combating feelings of helplessness.

...

Li Lingling was silent for a moment.

Nan Zhubin also remained silent, looked at her warmly, encouragingly, showing a kind of persistence, as if he would wait indefinitely for Li Lingling to give an answer.

Then Li Lingling was silent for a few seconds, nodding ever so slightly, almost imperceptibly.

Nan Zhubin breathed a sigh of relief; if Li Lingling hadn’t responded, he certainly wouldn’t have waited indefinitely, but rather would have taken another approach.

Luckily, Li Lingling didn’t do that.

"Alright." Nan Zhubin signaled that he understood Li Lingling’s intention.

He stood up, and with extremely slow, gentle movements, touched the soft object behind Li Lingling’s head, adjusting the height of the pillow for her.

Her gaze subtly shifted upward, and Li Lingling now assumed a semi-reclined position, allowing her view to look toward the tent opening, yet not directly facing the passing crowd.

Li Lingling’s eyes began to sparkle.

Previously, when she looked outside, it was at the ethereal sky and the never-ending rain.

Now when she looks outside, she sees the people coming and going.

Her breathing started to change rhythm, her eyes began to twitch.

She started to feel her recent decision-making behavior and to truly bear the consequences of the decision.

Nan Zhubin then sat back in his chair, sinking into silence once again.

This silence lasted about two minutes. He was just accompanying, breathing steadily, like a stable lighthouse.

...

Next, the consultant finally reached the part of conducting verbal interventions—the "talk therapy."

Facing Li Lingling, who is currently wrapped in her past.

Nan Zhubin’s goal is to activate Li Lingling’s professional identity and bodily memory as a "nurse," which is a powerful internal resource used to counteract the negative identity recognition of being a "failure."