Wanderlust Beastkin, Beauty and the Beastkin-Chapter 100: Healing Love

My anger was a fortress, thick and tall, Built stone by stone to keep the hurt behind a wall. I swore I’d never soften to your call, or turn to face the ghost of yesterday. I carried every grudge like sharpened flint, a heavy weight that kept me hardened to pain; I looked for mercy, found no silver glint, and learned to live with my bitterness.

But now the news has landed at my door— The fortress walls are crumbling to dust. I find I do not want this war anymore, nor all this armor, orange-thick with rust. For as the shadow gathers at your feet, the sharpest words have lost their jagged edge; the victory of hate feels incomplete when standing on this final, narrow ledge.

I’m terrified the door will shut for good before the "sorry" or the "I understand." I’d trade the "right" I claimed, if I could, to hold the strength of your hand. It turns out grief is swifter than my pride, and love is what remains when anger flies— A frantic, aching pull against the tide, leaving me desperate and tattered with the fear of goodbye.

I sat at the edge of the pool in my backyard, writing poetry in my notebook while tears dripped down my face and landed on the pages. Ira sat beside me while Sam sat behind me, massaging my shoulders with his strong hands.

"It’s going to be alright, everything is going to be fine. Oliver knows what he’s doing. Kia will heal up," said Ira.

"I was so angry with him, so angry all this time, but he was searching for me. He never stopped trying to find me, even on the brink of death, he didn’t stop. What must he have been going through while I held so much resentment for him, while I was mating with males before him after making him wait? Our cultures are so different; we should have discussed things better, without both of us being stubborn. I love him, Ira. I love him so much, and I didn’t even allow myself to feel, to really feel how much I love him, until I feared losing him. I was trying to suppress my pain at not having him by my side by constantly reminding myself that I was angry with him. I can’t allow that to happen anymore. I don’t deserve him, I don’t deserve his loyalty, but I need it, and I need him! I can’t lose him, Ira, I can’t!"

Ira pulled me into his arms and started gently rocking me. "Shh...shh. You won’t lose him, and I’m sure that whatever unpleasantness occurred between you, he doesn’t hold any grudges. After all, he did continue searching for you even with those injuries. When he wakes up and is healthy enough to get out of bed, the two of you can start over, I’m sure of it."

"You think?"

"I know. How could he not when you’re you? I love you," said Ira.

Sam grunted in agreement.

I cuddled closer into Ira and let out a sigh, feeling a lot better while being held and reassured by him.

"Soon Kai will be all healed up, and we can live in our wonderful new home all together. Your Kai has returned, that’s wonderful news. Our family is whole again, and soon your friend Elara, whom we’ve heard so much about, will be here too. We’ll be one big happy family, and then we’ll get to meet our babies. We’re safe, and we’re not going anywhere. We’ve even found a wonderful village to settle down in. There are no snatching rituals here, so we won’t have to worry about that anymore. We’re surrounded by friendly beastkin, and there’s even space for Elara here. Everything is looking up for our family," said Ira.

I wiped my tears away. "You’re right, my mates are all here now, and soon I’ll have Elara back too. My family will be whole. I’m so happy to have you, Ira. You understand my emotions so well."

"I will always be here for you," Ira said while running his fingers through my hair soothingly.

"I love you, Ira."

"I love you too."

I reached out and took Sam’s giant hand in mine. He wasn’t much for words, but he took my hand in his and gave it a light, brief, encouraging squeeze. That was all we needed to express our love. I knew he was here for me, whatever I needed.

These two were part of my new family; no more would I be ignored and made to feel like I wasn’t enough. This was my new home, and I no longer had any desire to ever go back. I didn’t need to see my so-called parents again. I never realized quite how shallow their love for me was until I found love here.

The three of us cuddled for a while before I felt my fear give way to exhaustion, and I drifted to sleep in Ira’s arms.

I don’t know how long it was before I woke up again in my new bedroom. I looked out the window, and it was dark out; the air smelled like warm bread and savory meat stew. My stomach grumbled in indignation, and I felt like I’d travelled through a desert for days. I was so thirsty that my throat hurt. I could feel that my face was puffy, my eyes almost glued shut with how swollen they were. I climbed out of my bed. The large and soft bed that Milo created earlier. I had a closet, a bookshelf, a nightstand, a dresser, and a storage chest at the end of my bed, full of soft blankets. Tied to the ceiling was a lantern, and another one was on my nightstand. It was a plush and comfortable room with an absolutely massive bed. On the floor was an ultra-thick cream rug. Beside the bed were soft slippers and a thick and plush light pink robe.

I put on the robe and slipped my feet into the slippers. Those other females are crazy; all households need to have a crafter beastkin. I walked out of my giant bedroom to the even larger main room, and the smell of savory pork, potato, and carrot stew surrounded me. My stomach gurgled again, and I saw Sam cooking in the kitchen with a frilly pink apron on. 𝚏𝗿𝗲𝐞𝐰𝚎𝕓𝐧𝚘𝘃𝗲𝐥.𝐜𝚘𝕞

I blinked in shock, and then a small giggle escaped me. One of the hottest and incredibly muscular men I’ve seen, cooking with a frilly apron on. When I drew it out for Milo, I had intended to wear it myself, but this also works. I will need him to make a smaller one that I can wear, though.

Sam was filling up wooden bowls that looked like they should be giant mixing bowls, not for people’s personal portions. Beastkin men sure can eat a lot. He filled the bowls up nearly to the rim, and then he tried to fill one like that for me, that’s around two gallons of food! I love food, but no, just no. I searched through our new kitchen and found a bowl that was a normal size. I filled that up, and Sam stared at it like something was wrong. Just that, that’s all you’re eating? How is that enough? Even younglings eat more than that! I looked at my bowl, which was a lot fuller than I usually had one and even a larger bowl than I would usually use.

We sat around the table and started eating just as Kai came in through the door, holding ten messenger bags in turquoise, pink, lavender, leaf green, yellow, burnt orange, dark blue, peach, and a basic-looking brown one that was made from a rougher material and a dark green one made from the same material. "Hey fam! I’m sorry that I took so long. I secured the healer’s building for Oliver while I was out and did some shopping. It is Festness after all. I got each of us our own space bag and filled them with goodies, then an extra one that I filled with hatching things that’ll be convenient to have around once our eggs hatch, and two more made from a thicker material that’s specifically for hunting and gathering.

Everyone’s eyes were bulging, including mine. He must have spent a fortune on the space bags alone. He walked over to me and placed a kiss on the top of my head, and then handed me the turquoise bag and the peach bag. I picked them up and looked them over; they were both really well-made. I reached my hand into the turquoise bag, and a glowing menu with slots appeared in my vision within the bag. Inside the slots, I saw items, and then I touched one of them, and the item appeared in my hand. A handful of glowing cream colored gems.

"Light-emitting mana gems," Titus said when he saw my confused face.

I put the gems back into the slot, and they disappeared from my hand and appeared in the slot again. "Fascinating."

Coming Next Time: Celebrating Festness with Mates and Elara