Unintended Immortality-Chapter 379: Lady Calico Hunts Again

The room was dimly lit by an oil lamp, providing just enough light to see once one’s eyes adjusted to it.

The night was utterly silent.

Song You walked to the bed and touched the blanket. Luck seemed to be on his side this time—the inn, likely suffering from a period of poor business, had taken the opportunity to wash all the sheets and covers. They smelled faintly of bean pods and felt dry and crisp, promising a comfortable night’s sleep.

Lady Calico followed behind him, her expression troubled.

“Daoist priest...” she called out.

“What is it?”

“Some of those people were staring at Lady Calico’s bowl all day!” she said, leaping onto the table. “Their gazes were strange.”

“They looked sneaky,” Song You replied.

“Sneaky!” she echoed.

“They were as sneaky as thieves and rats.”

“They’re sneaky!” she repeated emphatically.

“They were like that at lunch too. Your bowl is both beautiful and valuable. It’s not surprising it would be coveted,” Song You explained. “Especially since it’s being used by a cat. Seeing a cat with such an exquisite bowl might make them think we don’t know its true worth.”

“Coweded!” Lady Calico declared suddenly.

“Yes, coveted—it means they’re envious and want it for themselves.”

“I know that!” she said, staring at him with her sharp feline eyes. “I just find it amusing!”

“I forgot how well-read you are,” Song You said with a smile.

“I’m well-read and knowledgeable!”

“Exactly.”

“Do you think they might come tonight to steal my precious little bowl?” she asked worriedly.

“Sigh...”

Song You sat down on the bed. Feeling the softness of the mattress, he sighed with contentment before turning to meet the cat's gaze. “Lady Calico, you’re so formidable, especially at catching rats. Even the smell that only resembles a rat—hidden so deeply by the State Preceptor—couldn’t escape your keen senses. And now, with your greatly enhanced powers, who could possibly steal something from right under your nose?”

“That's right!” The cat's expression immediately changed, her worries swept away as her eyes sparkled with confidence. “Greatly enhanced powers!”

“If they want to steal it, let them try,” Song You said with a smile. “It'll give us a chance to ask about the goods they’re escorting. If we approach them directly, they might not answer truthfully. But if they come to us on their own, the outcome might be better.”

“That’s true!”

Her confidence flickered for a moment, and she suddenly felt there was still much she could learn, despite her newfound powers.

“But what if they don’t come?” she asked.

“Then they’re honorable people. Tomorrow, we’ll bring a gift, bow respectfully, and ask them directly, hoping they’ll be truthful.”

“Bring a gift!” the cat echoed thoughtfully.

The Daoist walked to the table, picked up Lady Calico’s small bowl, and inspected it. Then he grabbed the overturned tea bowl that had been sitting on the table and compared the two. Their size and height were nearly identical.

“Whoosh...”

And suddenly, there were two identical bowls on the table.

Both were exquisite blue-and-white porcelain, delicate yet watertight.

“Now, this is perfect. Even if they take it, you won’t need to worry about your bowl being broken,” Song You said.

“You're so clever!”

“I’ll have to trouble you to keep an eye on things.”

“If a rat comes to steal it, I will catch it!”

“Just don’t hurt them.”

“Don’t worry, Daoist priest. I wouldn’t harm a rat, even while catching it.”

“Then I...”

“You go to sleep!”

“Are you sure about this?”

“Go to sleep, go to sleep!”

The cat urged him insistently.

Song You had no choice but to lie down.

Closing his eyes, his thoughts wandered in all directions. Outside the window, the night was unusually quiet. Slowly, his mind calmed, and before long, he fell asleep.

Lady Calico, however, had other plans—

First, she waved her paw at the oil lamp. Though she was far from it, and her small paw couldn’t possibly create enough wind to extinguish the flame, the lamp went out instantly.

With the room in darkness, she didn’t idle. She ran to the window and peeked down at the courtyard below. Then she darted to the door, peeking through the crack to observe the hallway outside. Finally, she pressed her ear to the wall, listening for any movement in the neighboring room.

After thoroughly inspecting every corner of the room, she climbed onto the bed and dragged her real bowl to the corner of the bedding. Once it was hidden, she lay still, quietly observing her surroundings in the dark.

Updat𝒆d fr𝒐m freewebnσvel.cøm.

Time passed slowly. Lady Calico remained utterly still.

Finally, it was midnight.

To human ears, there wasn’t a sound. However, Lady Calico had already turned her head, staring intently at the door.

More precisely, she was staring at a spot to the right of the door, as if her gaze could pierce through the wall and see the hallway beyond. Slowly, her gaze shifted left until it settled on the center of the wooden door.

“Click...”

There was a faint sound outside.

A dagger slipped through the crack of the door, carefully nudging the latch.

Tonight, there should have been a crescent moon in the sky, but a cloud drifted over, perfectly obscuring it. The room was now pitch-black—ideal conditions for a thief to work unnoticed.

Unfortunately for the intruder, Lady Calico saw everything as clearly as daylight.

The latch moved gradually.

“...”

With an almost imperceptible creak, the door was pushed open at an excruciatingly slow pace.

Lady Calico tilted her head, watching closely.

At the door stood a burly man, likely in his late twenties or early thirties—one of the younger members of the armed guard team.

As expected, it was him.

Lady Calico had known it would be him because, among the group, he seemed the least clever.

On the bed, Lady Calico adjusted her position slightly, nudging her precious bowl deeper into its hiding spot. Only then did she turn her gaze back to the man, watching as he carefully felt his way into the room, moving cautiously step by step.

Lady Calico waited for a moment. He had only made it a few chi into the room when she shook her head. Deciding to act, she jumped off the bed and padded silently over to him.

She didn’t make a sound but trailed closely by his side, lifting her head to stare up at him.

Every time he moved a little, she moved a little.

The man reached out to feel his way around, and Lady Calico tilted her head, staring intently at his hand. When he moved his feet, she lowered her gaze to his steps. Her face betrayed no emotion, but who could truly fathom the mind of a cat?

The man moved with great caution, keeping close to the wall. His goal was clearly the wooden hook near the entrance of the room. He must have noticed earlier that the Daoist had placed the bowl into his pouch and assumed that most people, upon entering a room, would hang their pouches or clothing there. Naturally, this was the first place he decided to check.

The pouch was indeed hanging on the hook.

However, the bowl was already on the table.

It had been placed there intentionally, to prevent the thief from rummaging through the room unnecessarily.

Lady Calico watched his movements intently. Tilting her head thoughtfully, she glanced back at her still-sleeping Daoist companion. After a brief hesitation, she transformed into her human form, walked over to the table, stood on tiptoe to pick up the bowl, and then returned to the pouch, slipping it inside.

The entire process was completely silent.

The thief remained oblivious. His hand reached into the pouch, and after a brief search, he found the small bowl.

His face lit up with delight.

Lady Calico observed his expression with perfect clarity.

Transforming back into her cat form, she watched as the man tucked the bowl into his chest and began to carefully retreat toward the door. She waited patiently, watching him inch closer to the exit. Finally, when he was almost at the doorway, she shook her head, turned around, and leapt onto the nearby table. With a deliberate motion, she blew a soft breath toward the oil lamp.

“Whoosh...”

The room instantly lit up with a warm glow.

“...!”

The thief froze in shock, immediately reaching for the weapon at his waist as he spun around. His eyes darted to the bed, then to the oil lamp.

The Daoist on the bed remained motionless, still lying there as if sound asleep.

The oil lamp on the table flickered to life, its tiny flame gradually growing brighter. Sitting calmly by the table was Lady Calico, watching the man intently, her unblinking eyes fixed on him.

A cat?

How could a cat light a lamp?

The young armed guard was momentarily stunned, but there was no time to think. His first instinct was to turn and run.

However, as soon as he spun around, he was so startled that he nearly screamed.

At the doorway, blocking his escape, stood a massive, striped tiger. Its body took up more than half the width of the door, and its head turned to stare at him.

The tiger’s eyes were round, its pupils needle-thin. It neither bared its teeth nor growled but simply stared at him, exuding an overwhelming sense of pressure.

At that moment, the armed guard finally realized something was very wrong.

His body trembling, he turned his head back stiffly—

The cat was still sitting serenely on the table, staring at him unblinkingly. Suddenly, the cat opened its mouth and spoke. Its voice was soft and delicate, yet crystal clear. “You could crawl under its belly and run away!”

The armed guard immediately held his breath. Realizing he’d picked the wrong target this time, he lowered his voice and pleaded, “Great Cat Immortal, I meant no offense. This is my first mistake. Please be merciful and let me go. I promise to erect a shrine in your honor and burn incense for you every year.”

Lady Calico remained silent for a moment, her gaze fixed on him. Then, glancing at the striped tiger behind him, she continued to tease, “You could also jump over its back and escape that way!”

“What do you want from me, Cat Immortal?” the man asked, panicked.

“Why aren’t you running, meow?” the cat taunted.

“How would I dare to run!” the man exclaimed, frozen in place.

The armed guard’s hand had already moved to his waist, just two cun away from his short knife. He hesitated, staring at the seemingly delicate cat on the table. After a moment of indecision, he withdrew his hand.

“You could always draw your knife and fight the tiger!” the cat suggested.

“Great Cat Immortal, your divine powers are boundless. If I had known how formidable you are, I would never have dared to offend you,” the man stammered.

“What about this?” the cat said, suddenly turning her head away, no longer looking at him.

At the same time, the tiger took a step forward, leaving a gap at the door.

Unfortunately for the armed guard, he was no mere mouse.

Though he was foolish and reckless, he understood that this was the cat’s way of toying with him—perhaps even a ploy to provoke him into making a fatal mistake. If he attempted to escape, that massive striped tiger, whose weight alone made him wonder if the wooden floor could bear it, would surely pounce on him in an instant. A single paw swipe would leave his bones shattered.

He had heard of tricks in the jianghu, where someone would conjure the illusion of a tiger in a bustling market. However, such illusions, even when created by skilled practitioners, could only harm those who wholeheartedly believed in them.

But none of those tales included a talking cat.

“I wouldn’t dare...” he muttered.

“How boring!” the cat exclaimed.

“This is your jade bowl, Cat Immortal...” The man quickly retrieved the small bowl from his chest, walking carefully to the table. Too afraid to get too close, he extended his arm as far as possible and placed the bowl gently on the table.

“My Daoist priest has a question for you,” the cat said.

“A question?”

“Yes!”

“If I answer, may I leave?”

“I don’t know,” the cat said, tilting her head thoughtfully. “My Daoist priest is very kind. If you’re honest, I think he might let you go.”

“Then...”

“My Daoist priest is still asleep. You can’t wake him up... Oh, he’s awake now!”

Lady Calico turned her head toward the bed.

Song You was already sitting up, rubbing his face.

The cat shifted her gaze back to the armed guard, glaring at him. “It must be because you were too loud!”

“I’m innocent, I swear!” the man protested.

After defending himself, he turned to look at the Daoist, who was slowly rising from the bed. Realizing this was the true master of the room, he immediately pleaded, “Immortal Master, please have mercy. Forgive me this one time.”

“Why have you come here in the dead of night?” Song You asked calmly.

“I... I...” the armed guard stammered, struggling to form a coherent response.

“I am a Daoist and generally compassionate,” Song You said gently. “But since you’ve come here, if you want forgiveness, you must be truthful.”

“I was overcome by greed for a moment... My mind went foggy...” The man hesitated, unable to bring himself to fully confess his actions although he had clearly done it. After a pause, he added, “Please, Immortal Master, consider this my first offense and spare me this once.”

“Is it truly your first offense?”

“It is...”

“Are you trying to deceive me with lies?”

“...”

The armed guard raised his eyes slightly, but as soon as his gaze met the Daoist’s calm, tranquil eyes, he quickly lowered his head. “I wouldn’t dare deceive you, Immortal Master. It’s true that I once committed theft before, but I swear by the heavens, this is only my second time.”

“Your actions, while cautious, don’t resemble those of a habitual thief,” Song You remarked with a faint smile. “It’s said that seasoned thieves are skilled at reading people and would know better than to target us.”

“Exactly! The Immortal Master sees clearly!” the armed guard quickly agreed.

“Still, as an escort, your trade relies on honesty and integrity. Why stoop to such underhanded acts?”

“I lost my way for a moment, as if possessed by a ghost...”

“What does that have to do with ghosts or demons?” Song You asked pointedly.

“You're right, Immortal Master! Please, spare me this one time. I promise to mend my ways and never stray again!” the armed guard pleaded, his voice hushed as though afraid others might overhear.

Song You chuckled softly but didn’t press further. “Theft is theft, and by right, I should report this to the authorities. However, I have a matter to ask of you. Though this might go against the principles of an escort, it is of great importance. If you are willing to help and provide answers, I’ll give you a chance to redeem yourself and even protect you.

“I won’t report you to the authorities, but you must return and confess your actions to your leader, leaving it to the armed guard agency to decide your fate.”

“Huh?”

“I’m already sparing you from jail,” Song You said. “An escort ought to value honesty and reputation. Given your actions, do you not even have the courage to face the consequences?”

“Please, Immortal Master, have mercy...” the armed guard begged.

“No.”

“Immortal Master...”

“Take your time to consider.”

The man’s gaze flickered as he hesitated, attempting to beg a few more times. Realizing that Song You remained silent, calmly watching him, he finally gritted his teeth and asked, “What do you wish to know?”

“Thank you,” Song You said with a slight smile. “I’d like to ask about the cargo you’re escorting—what is it, where is it from, and where is it being delivered?”

“Huh?” The armed guard was visibly stunned again.

“You can’t tell me?” Song You asked calmly.

“Well...” The armed guard’s gaze flickered a few more times before he finally spoke. “I happen to know, but... this matter is of great importance. If the armed guard leader finds out I leaked it, he might kill me...”

“I’ll only tell them you came here to steal and were caught by us.”

“Thank you, sir!” The armed guard looked torn between relief and despair, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.