Transmigration; A Mother's Redemption and a perfect Wife.-Chapter 456; Honeymoon Phase 5

"But you want to carry my baby," he finished for her, his thumb stroking gentle, hypnotic circles on her skin. "To experience pregnancy, birthing, and nursing all over again. All of it. The whole journey." He actually did understand her because, her first pregnancy was traumatic.

She nodded, feeling exposed and vulnerable under his knowing gaze. The irony wasn’t lost on her, here she was, mother to quadruplets and Qing Qing, desperate for something her body had technically already done. But it hadn’t been her. Not really. Not this version of her, with her memories, her soul, her desperate longing.

"Fei’er, look at me." 𝑓𝘳𝘦𝑒𝑤𝑒𝘣𝘯ℴ𝘷𝘦𝓁.𝑐𝑜𝑚

Reluctantly, slowly, she raised her eyes to meet his.

"There’s nothing wrong with wanting that," he said softly, with a tenderness that made her chest ache. "And there’s nothing wrong with you. These things take time sometimes. Stress makes it harder. The more you obsess about it, the more you worry, the harder it becomes to conceive. Your body responds to stress." He couldn’t tell her the truth, and at the same time, he didn’t want her to go through what she had gone through.

"Easy for you to say," she muttered, bitterness creeping into her voice. "You’re not the one whose body might be defective."

His jaw tightened, a muscle jumping near his temple. "Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that. Your body isn’t defective. You’re perfect. You’ve already given me two sons and two daughters and we have Qing Qing, Qin Xinyu..."

"That’s not the same," she interrupted, then caught herself. How could she explain without revealing the truth? That that pregnancy belonged to someone else, someone who no longer existed? "I mean... I want to experience it again. With you. Now. When things are different between us."

"Then why do you think it wouldn’t happen again?" The words burst out despite her attempt to stay calm, carrying months of frustration and fear. " You aren’t being honest with me at all..

"Ting Cheng....."

"Stop thinking about it," he interrupted, his voice firmer than intended. He softened it immediately, running his hand through his hair in a gesture that betrayed his tension. "The more you think about it, the more stressed you’ll be. When we’re done with the honeymoon, we can see a doctor if you still want to. But I need to be honest with you..."

He paused, the lie forming on his tongue with practiced ease. Anything to protect her from going through that hell again.

"It was miraculous that we conceived the quadruplets in the first place. My sperm count has been low for years." The words came out measured, careful. "So I might not really be able to make your wish come true. The odds of it happening again are... slim."

Tang Fei’s face fell, and guilt twisted in his chest like a knife. But it was better than the alternative. Better than watching her descend into that dark place again, better than seeing her eyes fill with that vacant, terrified emptiness that had consumed her during and after the births.

He could still see it when he closed his eyes, Tang Fei screaming that she didn’t want them, refusing to hold the babies even for a moment, her face contorted with revulsion and terror whenever the nurses tried to bring them close.

The way she’d turned her face to the wall, sobbing that they should take the babies away, that she couldn’t do it, that she hated them.

He couldn’t go back there, that pregnancy and the existence of the babies had totally made her psycho. If it weren’t for his strong will and finding ways to deal with the babies, he actually didn’t even know how he had managed through it all.

He’d rather be castrated than watch her go through that nightmare again.

"I... I didn’t know," Tang Fei said quietly, and there was something in her voice, disappointment mixed with confusion. "You never mentioned..."

"It’s not something men like to advertise," he said with a weak attempt at humor, hating himself for the deception. "But the doctors told me years ago. Low motility, low count. The quadruplets were against all odds. Lightning doesn’t usually strike twice."

What he couldn’t tell her, what he would never tell her, was that he’d been taking medication specifically designed to lower his sperm count for some time now. Had started shortly after she’d begun talking about wanting another baby, her eyes bright with hope and longing. He couldn’t dare make that mistake again.

Dr. Chen had questioned the prescription, had asked if his wife knew. Huo Ting Cheng had simply stared at him until the traditional medicine practitioner ground the herbs without further comment.

Every morning, he took the bitter herbal decoction in secret, hiding it among his other health supplements and tonics. The blend was specifically formulated to reduce male fertility, with herbs like thunder god vine and ginseng in carefully calibrated doses that would lower sperm count without obvious side effects.

Anything to ensure that Tang Fei would never have to endure pregnancy and childbirth again, would never spiral back into that psychological horror that had nearly destroyed her, destroyed them both.

"But we can still try," he added, pulling her closer despite the deception burning in his chest. "Maybe it will happen. Miracles do occur. But I don’t want you stressing about it, obsessing over it. That won’t help anything."

Tang Fei was quiet against him, and he wondered what she was thinking. This new version of her, so different from before, so warm and loving with the children, so desperate to experience motherhood, had all the ideas of what the original Tang Fei had suffered.

But now looking at her, he thought of keeping things the way they were, he loved it this way... And he would keep it that way. Even if it meant lying. Even if it meant being the "defective" one.

He’d carry that burden gladly if it meant protecting her from herself.

" Fine fine... Let’s forget about it!" She actually got rid of the idea, it wasn’t his fault that he had such a condition. If it was already proven, she didn’t need to push.

"I’m sorry... I was too insensitive..." She apologized kissing him intimately.

Huo Ting Cheng’s chest tightened at her words, at the gentle kiss she pressed against his lips. The guilt that had been simmering beneath the surface flared hot and sharp, like a blade twisting in his gut. Here she was, apologizing to him, calling herself insensitive, when he was the one deceiving her with every calculated word.

"Don’t apologize," he said roughly, pulling her closer until there was no space between them. His hand cradled the back of her head, fingers threading through her hair. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

Tang Fei melted against him, and he could feel the tension draining from her body, replaced by something softer, more accepting. She believed him. She trusted him. And that trust felt like acid on his conscience.

"I just want you to be happy," she murmured against his chest. "If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t... we already have five beautiful children. That’s more than most people ever get."

He made a sound of agreement, not trusting his voice. What could he say? That he was actively preventing the very thing she wanted most? That every morning he drank bitter herbs specifically to ensure her dreams remained unfulfilled?

The anklet jingled softly as she shifted, reminding him of the night before, of the way she’d surrendered so completely to him, of how he’d marked her in the most primitive, possessive way possible. At least that hadn’t been a lie, his need for her, his desire to claim her so thoroughly that no one, including her, could ever forget she belonged to him.

He loved her more than anything...

"Let’s just enjoy the honeymoon," Tang Fei said, pulling back to look at him with eyes that were clearer now, less shadowed by disappointment. "No more talk about babies or doctors or any of it. Just us."

"Just us," he echoed, and meant it. For these stolen days in their underwater paradise, he could pretend that the lies didn’t exist, that the past hadn’t happened, that this version of his wife was permanent and not some fragile miracle that might shatter at any moment.

She smiled then, genuine and warm, and something in his chest cracked open.....