Transmigrated Into a Cannon Fodder Phoenix, Stuck With the Ice Dragon-Chapter 65: The Meaning Of Tears

"You can cry... who said you can’t?" Lucian’s voice came low, almost a whisper, before he suddenly lowered himself onto the floor in front of me. The cool air around him stirred as he reached out, gently trying to pull me closer. "Even without tears, you can cry as much as you want..."

"No!" I shouted, my voice sharp, breaking through the quiet of the room.

He froze, surprise flashing in his eyes.

"You... don’t... understand!" My voice cracked, anger tightening my chest. I could feel my brows knit together, my breath trembling. "You know how it feels when you want to let it out... when everything hurts but your eyes just won’t let you?"

He didn’t speak, didn’t move, just watched.

"Tears mean something," I went on, my words tumbling out faster, rougher. "They mean I can pour it out... the sadness, the anger, the frustration... but I can’t! I can’t!"

The sound of my own voice echoed against the cold walls, and for a moment, I hated how small it made me feel. How helpless.

Lucian stayed quiet. The frost that clung faintly to his sleeve had begun to melt, droplets sliding down the fabric like dew.

Something in his expression shifted, the hard edges of his usual calm softening, his eyes searching mine not with anger, but something deeper.

He glanced around, and I could tell he felt it too... the change in the air. The cold that usually followed him had started to fade, replaced by a subtle warmth that spread through the small bathroom.

It wasn’t from him.

It was from me.

My breath came uneven, the heat blooming faintly against my skin as the air shimmered softly between us.

Lucian’s gaze flicked down to my hands, where faint golden traces of light were beginning to pulse beneath my fingertips.

"Seraphina," he said quietly, his tone no longer steady, but soft and careful. "Hey... it’s okay. You can tell me what’s wrong. I’ll try my best to fix it..."

I looked up at him, meeting his eyes. For a moment, the world around us felt still, just him and me sitting on the cold floor between breaths.

And maybe I was the fool here.

Because when I searched his eyes, I couldn’t see any lies. There was no hint of the man who’d used me, no trace of the one who’d hidden behind calm words and cold silences.

Just sincerity.

Honestly, I felt dumb. Really dumb. Because even after everything, my heart still wanted to believe him.

"If there is another one like me..." The words slipped out before I could stop them, a question that felt too dangerous to exist in the air. "Would you still love me?"

Lucian blinked, taken aback. His brows drew together, confusion flickering across his face. "What do you mean? Another you?"

I hesitated, my throat tightening. "You know..." I said quietly, my voice almost trembling. "Someone who looks like me. Maybe even... carries the same flame too."

Lucian’s eyes darkened, not in anger, but in thought. His gaze sharpened, steady and searching, as if he was trying to see past my words, past the layers I was hiding behind.

"I don’t understand," he said finally, though his tone had softened, almost careful. "There’s no one like you."

"Answer me..." I pressed, my voice lower now, almost a whisper. "What if... there is someone else? Someone who has the same flame as me... would you still..." I paused, holding his eyes, "...want me?"

Lucian didn’t answer right away.

His gaze stayed locked with mine, then, after a beat, the corner of his mouth lifted slightly. "If there’s another one like you," he said, voice light, almost teasing, "I’d have to double my patience then, wouldn’t I?"

He was trying to joke... I could tell. Trying to ease the tension, to make me smile.

But it didn’t work.

Not even close.

My chest tightened, anger rising like a sudden flame. "You think this is funny?" I snapped, my voice trembling. "I’m being serious, Lucian!"

His faint smile faded instantly, replaced by confusion.

"I’m asking you something real," I continued, my words sharp and fast now. "Something that matters... and you treat it like a joke?!"

The air between us shifted again, the warmth from before replaced by a suffocating chill.

"I didn’t mean—"

I raised my hand, cutting him off. "I forgot..." My voice cracked, a bitter laugh slipping out. "What am I even asking for? I’m a joke. A joke to you."

I shook my head, words spilling faster now, sharper with every breath. "You play nice. You treat me better, you act sweet... all those gestures, those words... and I..." My throat tightened, and I pressed a trembling hand against my chest. "I’m the fool who falls for them every time. A bloody fool who still believes it’s real."

Lucian’s brows furrowed, confusion flickering in his eyes, but I didn’t let him speak.

"Do you even know what it feels like?" I whispered, my voice breaking. "To keep trying to believe in something that keeps proving you wrong?"

"What are you even talking about?" His tone rose slightly, frustration seeping through. "Explain... Did I do something wrong that caused you to behave like this? If yes... tell me what—"

He stopped mid-sentence.

His eyes locked with mine, and whatever irritation he had vanished. I knew what he saw... my eyes, shaky, red, but dry. Always dry. Because no matter how much it hurt, I couldn’t cry.

The silence between us grew heavy, and then his voice came again, this time it was uncertain.

"Did you... hear something when you went to my office earlier?" His voice dropped low, rough with realization.

I didn’t answer. My silence said enough.

So I stood, turning toward the door. But before I could reach for the handle, his hand shot out, slamming against it first.

The door didn’t move. Neither did he.

"Don’t walk away from me," he said, his voice tight, steady but trembling just beneath the surface. "Tell me what you heard, Seraphina."

I kept my back to him, staring at the door that suddenly felt like a wall between two worlds.

"Tell me," he repeated, quieter this time, but firmer, like a plea dressed as a command.

My throat ached, but the words came out sharp, dripping with sarcasm that hurt both of us.

"Why?" I said, laughing weakly. "So you can sugarcoat it? Tell me it’s not what it sounded like?"

Lucian’s brows furrowed, but I didn’t stop.

"Maybe you’ll say it was all for research," I continued, my voice trembling despite the bite in my tone. "Or that you didn’t mean it that way... that you needed my flame, not me."

I smiled then, but it was hollow. "Go on, Lucian. Say it. Make it sound noble this time."

The silence that followed was brutal.

He just stood there, staring at me and in his eyes, I saw it. The truth I didn’t want confirmed.

He couldn’t even deny it.

"Send me back to the Blaze..." I said flatly, shoving him back with both hands before he could speak.

Then I walked out of the bathroom, not once looking back.

Behind me, Lucian stayed where he was frozen and speechless.