The X Guide-Chapter 69: Shadow (1)

T/W: Self-harm. (Though only subconsciously done. Still, look out for it.)

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Devion wanted to come with Ayen, but he also understood that the chances of them being recognized became higher if he went with them.

Of course, that might not be the main reason Khal did not want him to come with them.

"You’ll get in a way with them."

Suddenly, a voice similar to his rang; it sounded as though it was spoken beside his ears.

And yet, no one was beside Devion at all.

Devion did not flinch and continued stirring the soup he had prepared once Khal returned. He wanted to focus on them and cleared his mind.

"Ignoring me, I see." The voice sounded again, the mocking tone with them greatly resembling Devion’s usual tone, but the malice laced every word.

"Pretend to ignore me. No one is here to help you. Khal is already getting affectionate with the new guide, sooner or later, they will leave you."

Devion, who was stirring the soup with a ladle, paused; he looked calm on the surface, but how could the owner of the voice have missed the slight tremble in those hands and the way Devion’s lips twitched as he suppressed himself from talking back?

A laugh then sounded.

"Look at you, being so pathetic. Just a slight doubt, and here I am again, surfacing to let you know how useless you are." The whisper voice carried a demonic allure, making Devion’s focus crumble.

Seeing him becoming affected, the voice became excited. And it continued.

"I pity Khal. He did everything to let me leave, but see? I never left, because you never wanted me to."

At the mention of Khal, Devion’s temple throbbed, and slowly he lifted his gaze. His expression was cold, completely out of place with his angel-like face. 𝕗𝕣𝐞𝐞𝘄𝐞𝚋𝚗𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗹.𝚌𝕠𝚖

There at the kitchen counter sat a bloodied shadow; there was no visible face, but two red pupils and a mouth could be discerned. It was like it came straight out of a horror movie.

Devion blinked, and he took a deep breath.

A devilish grin lingered on that mouth, and Devin gripped the ladle.

He wanted to focus, to remember Khal’s words...

"It’s not real. It’s all in your head. It’s merely a representation of the curse. Don’t listen or talk to it, Devion. Promise me, if it shows itself, call me immediately."

And yet, the shadow knew Devion far too well. After all, it had been inhabiting Devion’s subconscious for ten years. He might have become suppressed, but he never left.

"Do you think Khal’s already tired of you? Ayen might as well only guide him; otherwise, he will also come to know how crazy you are."

Devion should be focusing on cooking, or maybe he could fix or invent something to clear his mind. He had done the same whenever the shadow wanted to manifest.

Devion becoming skilled with whatever he did was only the second effect of his engrossing himself in them to resist his mind.

However... Devion could not do so for some reason. The shadow knew him too well, indeed. He had become dependent on Khal, and everything related to him would immediately shatter the thin barrier he erected in his mind.

And there was Ayen, the guide he had grown fond of. He did not want Ayen to think he was a freak or something. Even if he was indeed one, at least he was normal on the surface.

He was an SS-class Esper, the top of the human hierarchy. At least, he was not that useless...

When Khal said Ayen could hurt Devion emotionally, and he was guarding against that, he was telling the truth. This was also why he would never let Devion leave his side.

"You’re not real," Devion blurted out, then sighed.

He was defeated. He could not stop himself from talking to it.

Sure enough, the shadow grinned with victory, and his chuckle rang in Devion’s ears. It was irritating that Devion wanted to scratch his ears.

And so he did, but Devion had not restrained the force and scratched himself hard. As a result, his ears began to bleed from the force.

Devion had stopped in time; otherwise, he might have peeled off his own ears.

This did not have an effect at all. Since the shadow laughed louder. Devion sighed and stopped, letting his ears burst with irritation.

Technically, he was not hearing the shadow in his ears at all, but through his mind.

Devion merely glanced at the blood in his hand, and without a slight change in his expression, he went to the faucet to clean the blood off his hand.

He was still cooking.

"You can hear me. You can see me. How am I not real?"

Sure enough, the moment that Devion had acknowledged its existence, the voice became clear, and so did the shadows’ features as well.

Obviously, the shadow used Devion’s face as its appearance. But compared with Devion’s, his face held a sinister glow. It was also not a perfect imitation, as the face would constantly flicker into becoming faceless before returning to Devion’s face.

It was like a mockery.

Devion did not want to admit it out loud. Deep inside of him, he also had doubts. Since he could hear and see the shadow, how was it not real?

But accepting it absolutely should not happen. Khal had especially warned him not to admit the shadows’ claim, or something irreversible would happen.

Devion was not that oblivious. He knew how Khal had painstakingly searched for the cure to always let Devion’s mind be free from worries.

Was he a burden? Devion knew he was. Then again, Khal had never made him feel that way. If he said it out loud, that would be invalidating Khal’s efforts.

"I’m the only one who can see you. How can you be real?" Devion wiped his hand; he even forgot his bleeding ears. He continued to cook. The soup was ready, but he continued doing other dishes.

Devion needed to do something when he was alone. He could not remain idle. Whether it was fighting, cooking, or anything, his mind needed to be busy.

The shadow fell silent with that.

It was Devion’s turn to smile. He did not provoke the shadow, however. Doing so served no purpose; he was only letting the shadow accomplish its goal.

"Then, you admit you’re crazy? Must be."

The shadow began to taunt him again, but this time, Devion did not feel offended.

Devion kneaded dough and looked up.

"When did I ever deny that?"

Khal said he was not crazy, that it was only the curse acting up.

Of course, it was because of a curse that the shadow started to appear. But it had been ten years; Devion had never known how to be normal since.

So, was he crazy? It would be weird if he were not.