The Villainess Wants To Retire-Chapter 368: Nightmare

ERIS

The heavy silence of the master suite was a living thing, broken only by the rhythmic, oceanic pull of the blizzard against the stone walls. I woke slowly, the fog of sleep lifting like mist over a marsh. I was warm, warmer than I had ever been in the drafty corridors of Solmire, and there was a small, steady weight pressed against my side.

I opened my eyes, my vision focusing on a shock of white hair. Rael. He was curled beside me, his small frame tucked into the crook of my arm as if he’d been born there.

He was snoring, tiny, puffing sounds that vibrated against my ribs. One of his hands was fisted in the wool of my sleeve, anchoring himself to me even in sleep. His face was a mask of absolute, terrifying innocence.

My chest tightened so sharply it hurt.

I never thought I could have this. Not in my first life, not in the second.

But here he was. My son. The boy I hadn’t known I was missing until he had crashed into my life with his "Mama" and his fierce, sticky hugs.

He trusted me. He was sleeping as if the world weren’t full of monsters, simply because I was there. 𝘧𝓇𝑒𝑒𝑤ℯ𝑏𝓃𝘰𝑣ℯ𝘭.𝘤ℴ𝘮

My eyes burned, a hot prickle of tears threatening to spill. I didn’t let them fall; I didn’t want to wake him with a sob. I just laid there and felt it, the raw, overwhelming gift of being wanted.

Carefully, I reached out. His hair, same as mine, silky and white as a fresh drift, caught the dim firelight like spun glass. I brushed a stray lock from his forehead, my movements slow and reverent. I wanted to memorize the texture of it, the way it felt like cobwebs against my skin.

I traced my index finger down the delicate slope of his nose, following the perfect, tiny curve. He stirred, his nose wrinkling like a rabbit’s, and he mumbled something unintelligible before settling back into the furs.

So beautiful, I thought. How did I get so lucky? I had been a ghost for so long, and this child was the sun.

Then, the peace shattered.

Rael’s breathing shifted, hitching in his throat. His chest began to heave, his small body going rigid beside me. A whimper, broken and wet, escaped his lips. His face scrunched in distress, his brow furrowing as if he were watching something horrific behind his eyelids.

He woke with a violent gasp. His golden eyes flew open, wide, dilated, and swimming with a terror that made my heart stop. He looked around the room frantically, his gaze darting toward the shadows in the corners as if they were closing in.

Then he saw me.

He started crying instantly. It wasn’t the loud, demanding wail of a child who had scraped a knee.

These were soft, jagged sobs that sounded like his heart was breaking. He lunged for me, clutching at my robe with a strength that shouldn’t have been possible for a five-year-old.

"Shh, shh. It’s okay, little flame. I’m here. I’ve got you." I pulled him into my lap, one hand cradling the back of his head, the other rubbing slow circles across his back. I rocked him, my chin resting on the top of his head as he buried his face in my neck.

"What’s wrong, sweetheart? What happened?"

"I... I had... a bad dream," he managed to choke out, his voice small and shattered.

"A nightmare?" I kissed his forehead, feeling the heat of his skin.

He nodded against my chest, his tears soaking into my robe.

I shifted, leaning back against the heavy oak headboard so I could hold him more securely. He was so small, so fragile in the vastness of the imperial bed. I waited, humming a low, wordless tune until the worst of the sobs subsided into hiccups.

"Do you want to tell me what you saw?" I asked gently, stroking his hair.

He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, his lip trembling. "I... I don’t know how to say it..."

"That’s okay. Just try. I’m listening."

Rael took a shaky breath, his hands gesturing vaguely at the air as if trying to paint the memory. "The sky was... was all dark. Really, really dark. Like the sun fell down and didn’t come back."

He paused, his eyes welling up again.

"And then I saw YOU, Mama Eris." He looked up at me, his gaze searching my face with a desperate intensity. "You were hurt. Really hurt. There was... red everywhere. And I couldn’t... I couldn’t help you. You were so far away."

He collapsed back into me, the tears starting fresh.

My heart ached. The specificity of it, the "red everywhere", sent a chill down my spine that had nothing to do with the snow that fell outside. I pulled him closer, my voice firm but tender.

"Listen to me, Rael. It was just a dream. Just a dream, do you hear me?" I tilted his chin up, forcing him to meet my eyes. "I’m right here. Look at me. I’m not hurt. See?"

I took his small, cold hand and placed it flat against my chest, right over the steady thump of my heart. See that? I’m fine. I’m safe. We’re in the palace, and the guards are outside, and the fire is warm."

He sniffled, nodding slowly as he felt the rhythm of my heartbeat.

"Dreams can be scary," I whispered, kissing his cheeks and his nose. "But they aren’t real. They’re just shadows. And I promise you, I would never let anything keep me from you. Do you understand? Nothing in this world is strong enough to take me away."

"Promise?" he whispered.

"I promise."

He calmed down eventually, though he remained clingy, his fingers twisted into my hair. After a few minutes of quiet, he looked up with a hesitant expression.

"Mama?"

"Yes, little flame?"

"Can I... can I see Papa?"

I froze. Caelen. The name felt like a burr under my skin. Of course he wanted his father. Caelen had raised him; Caelen was his constant. It was only natural that after a nightmare, he’d want the man who had been there for every other bad dream.

But I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t want to look at the man who was lingering in my palace like a bad memory.

"Of course you can," I said, my voice tight but gentle. "Let me get you to him."