The Villainess Wants To Retire-Chapter 152: Bjorn

She had precisely enough time to register what was happening, to feel alarm spike through her chest, before two hundred pounds of overexcited frost-wolf collided with her at full speed.

They went down in a tangle of limbs and fur and surprised cursing, Eris hitting the floor with significantly less grace than she had maintained throughout the entire day thus far. The impact drove the air from her lungs, and before she could recover, before she could even begin to summon the fire that rose instinctively to defend her, she was being enthusiastically licked across the face by a tongue that felt approximately the size and texture of wet leather.

Bjorn’s tail wagged with such violence it created its own breeze. His entire body vibrated with joy, pressing against her, pinning her to the floor while he attempted to express what appeared to be immediate and absolute devotion through sheer physical affection.

For a moment, everyone simply stared.

The servants looked horrified. Aldric looked like he wanted to die. Soren looked torn between concern and the most intense jealousy a man has probably ever felt toward his own pet.

And Eris, the Fire Queen of Solmire, the woman who had just faced down the Regent Empress without flinching, lay on the polished marble floor being enthusiastically mauled by an oversized puppy having the best day of his entire life.

The confusion on her face would have been comical if the situation hadn’t been quite so absurd. This was quickly followed by annoyance, her brows drawing together as she tried to push the massive creature off her and failed spectacularly.

And then came the threat.

"Get this beast off me," she snarled, her voice carrying that particular quality of danger that had made armies reconsider their life choices, "or I’ll burn it alive."

Bjorn whimpered.

Actually whimpered, like he understood every word and was deeply hurt by the suggestion. He pulled back slightly, though he didn’t actually get off her, those golden eyes suddenly looking remarkably puppy-like despite belonging to a creature that could probably take down a bear.

"Bjorn! Off!" Soren commanded, moving forward to help, his tone carrying genuine authority now.

Ryse appeared from somewhere, because of course he did, the man had a talent for materializing whenever situations turned entertaining. Between the two of them, they managed to haul the reluctant frost-wolf off Eris, though Bjorn made his displeasure known through a series of mournful sounds that suggested the world was ending and it was entirely their fault.

Soren extended his hand to help Eris up, and she took it with the kind of grip that suggested she was seriously contemplating whether burning everything in sight might not be the most reasonable response to this situation.

Once upright, she brushed at her dress with sharp, irritated movements, her hair slightly disheveled, her dignity thoroughly ruffled. Then she looked at Bjorn.

Really looked at him.

The wolf stared back, tail still wagging though slower now, uncertain, his entire body language suggesting he desperately wanted to resume the enthusiastic greeting but was becoming aware that perhaps his affection was not being received as intended.

Eris’s brow furrowed. "Why is it looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" Soren asked, though he knew exactly what she meant. He was staring at Bjorn with an expression that suggested he was re-evaluating every choice he’d ever made regarding pet ownership.

"Like..." She gestured vaguely at the wolf’s face, at the clear adoration written there. "We’ve never met. I’ve never seen this creature before in my life. Why is it acting as though I’m the most interesting thing it’s ever encountered?"

It was a fair question. Bjorn was not typically prone to such instant, overwhelming attachment. He was friendly, certainly, but this level of devotion usually required months of consistent treat-giving and behind-the-ear scratching to develop.

And yet here he was, staring at Eris like she’d personally hung the moon and promised him unlimited belly rubs for eternity.

"I..." Soren started, then realized he had absolutely no explanation that would make sense. "I’m not sure."

"Well, that’s helpful," Eris muttered, eyeing the wolf with suspicion and what might have been the faintest hint of curiosity. "Train your pet better."

The words stung more than Soren cared to admit, but before he could formulate a response, before he could explain that Bjorn was actually extraordinarily well-trained and this behavior was completely unprecedented, his treacherous, disloyal, completely beloved companion made everything worse.

"Come here," Soren said, opening his arms again, hoping to salvage some small measure of dignity from this disaster. "Won’t you give Daddy a hug?"

He regretted the words the instant they left his mouth, but it was too late. They hung in the air, witnessed by servants who were definitely going to gossip about this, and by Eris who was looking at him with an expression that suggested she had just discovered something simultaneously embarrassing and entertaining about him.

Bjorn looked at him.

And growled.

Actually growled, low and warning, like Soren was a threat to be monitored rather than the person who had literally raised him from a pup.

The betrayal was complete.

Somewhere behind them, Ryse made a sound that was definitely an attempted stifled laugh.

"Bjorn will never forgive you for leaving without saying goodbye," Aldric’s voice cut in, dry and matter-of-fact, as he finally caught up to his escaped charge. "I did try to warn you before you departed for Solmire, Your Majesty, but you insisted the wolf was sleeping and would understand."

"I was going to say goodbye!" Soren protested, some of his imperial dignity cracking under the strain of being rejected by his own pet in front of the woman he was trying to impress. "You were asleep! I didn’t want to wake you!"

Bjorn’s response was to turn away, deliberately presenting Soren with his rear end, and pad back over to Eris. He sat in front of her, tail sweeping across the marble, and gazed up at her with an expression that could only be described as worshipful.

Ryse wasn’t even trying to hide his laughter anymore. The sound echoed down the corridor, bouncing off ice and stone, and even some of the servants were struggling to maintain their professional composure.