The Ugly Duckling Of The Tiger Tribe-Chapter 123: Ari, you should rest

With Damar looking at me worriedly, I picked up my sewing kit, and the top I was working on and walked out of the cave.

I didn’t want to wake Fenric, so I was quiet, but he had such a sensitive ear that the moment I got up from Damar, he opened his eyes and was merely observing.

I sat on the rock in front of the cave, the night breeze blowing away my worries and the moonlight dancing on my skin.

I had to occupy my mind somehow.

I knew there were other ways to drown thought and feeling, like making for example.

Surely, I wouldn’t be able to worry about anything once I’m plunged into chaotic pleasure but I don’t really feel like it.

I’ve got a lot on my mind and I want to do something productive while sorting things out.

How do I go about getting to Deadwood without being spotted?

As soon as I’m spotted going that way, word will definitely spread.

I’m quite popular, haha.

My expression fell and I stopped everything, gazing down at the squirrel pelt and then at my wet hands that were trembling.

I didn’t even realize it but... Tears were rolling down without restraint.

I wasn’t even thinking of anything sad so why...?

Why am I crying?

"I want to see her," the trembling words slipped out of my mouth.

I’m not asking to spend the rest of my life with her. She’s in a situation where she can’t walk, she can’t move her body, and lies down all day.

She probably only has her eyes working for her.

I sniffed and continued sewing, slowing, so I wouldn’t cut myself by accident. Solin’s tools were sharp, even for a crude kit.

I wondered if I should just give up the idea and reduce risk as much as possible.

If I decide to go see her, nothing will change.

If I see her in such a state, will my uneasy heart fall at ease or will I be subject to even more unease? I’m sure it would be subject to more unease, seeing her miserable state.

It would break my heart, but I still stubbornly want to see her.

Only then will I leave the tribe with no regrets.

"Ari," I heard Damar’s voice and glanced back over my shoulder. "You should rest," he said.

I managed to smile and said,

"It’s fine. I’ve been getting plenty of rest these days." I said as I faced the pelt in my hand. "I’ve had so much peace these days that it almost felt too unreal, like it was given to me at a price." I paused, sighed, and looked up at the night sky. "Now I see that the peace was the price for this current predicament. No wonder they say nothing comes for free."

I chuckled, but the words I said were far from a laughing matter.

I actually attributed the peace as the price for all the hardship I, Arinya, had suffered all this time, thinking that going forward, there would be no more troubles to cause me unease and break my heart.

But I was wrong.

In life, trouble always finds a way to locate you, even when you’re just minding your business and enjoying your peace.

If my father hadn’t mentioned my mother, I would’ve left the tribe with no worries and no regret.

He just had to bring her up last minute.

"Arinya," Fenric called and I glanced back, seeing him resting on the cave entrance. "Want some help?"

"Thanks, but I’m fine doing it by myself," I said and continued sewing.

They were so worried about me that they couldn’t see themselves sleeping if I wasn’t asleep.

They stood guard, protecting me silently.

After thinking things through, I finally made up my mind.

I would see my mother but... That is all.

I just want to see her face, and he reminded me of what she looked like, so I won’t have any regrets when leaving.

And to do that without being seen... I stood up... The best time is now.

"Damar, Fenric," I called. "We’re going to the south to see my mother... Right now."

I might be making a mistake, I might be fanning a dying flame, and I might even be fueling some bitch’s master plan to ruin my life, but I chose to worry about that afterward.

If worst comes to worst, I can just flee with my handsome men.

And as for my mother... I’m sure Father will protect her somehow.

He’s been doing so for years, I doubt he’ll stop now.

"Are you sure about this?" Damar asked and Fenric looked at him.

"What? Scared of a late-night stroll?" He teased, trying to lighten the mood but Damar sighed, shaking his head as he regarded him as an imbecile.

"Your mother has stone-skin disease," he said. "What are we going to do if you contract this disease?"

He had a point.

But there was nothing to worry about.

When Kaelor said the land couldn’t grow plants and the soil felt off to the skin, I thought of a landscape I was taught in high school during geography class.

Lands like that usually have a high concentration of salt, and because of that, bacteria don’t grow in the area.

For my mother, who had a disease that was placed there and did not die even after all this time, it’s due to the soil absorbing the disease.

And then there was my father who went there every day to give her food without anyone noticing him.

Surely, he would’ve contracted it if it were that easy to contract.

"If it were easy to spread, my father would’ve had it a long time ago," I said. "But it doesn’t mean I plan to be reckless either. So, let’s be careful not to touch anything, as well as cover our noses as we go there."

"How do you plan to cover your nose?" Damar asked, and I picked up a piece of the pelt, long enough to wrap around one’s head.

I wrapped it around, covered my nose and below, and said,

"With this."