The Legend of William Oh-Chapter 235: Useful Idiots

***Vincent Duncan***

Vincent was sitting in his ‘Stronghold’…such as it was. An ashen wasteland on the back of a snake the size of a continent, whose gravity was minsicule. The ash of his ‘settlers’ lay scattered around him, constellations infected with his offspring who had been forced into the minds of monsters.

They hadn’t survived long, but long enough to bypass the system’s sapience check on the qualifications to be a ‘settler’.

Vincent wasn’t concerned with them, however. He could always make more. He was more concerned with the disappointing ending of the previous engagement. He was replaying the short battle and the events leading up to it, carefully dissecting each action, each decision that had occurred.

“Aria.”

“Yes, master?” She asked.

“What did you say to me just before I decided to attack the Stronghold?” Vincent asked.

“Master, it appears that Zodiac is fleeing with his Stronghold.” Aria said, her hands shaking.

“It…appears.” Vincent said slowly, rolling the words around on his tongue. “It sure did appear that way, didn’t it?”

“Yes, master.” Aria said, her shoulders tense, face downcast.

Perhaps I’m reading too much into a single word, Vincent thought. But on the other hand…

“Aria, I know fae can’t lie, but can you? Given that you’re technically undead and all.”

“I cannot.” She replied.

Which would be a meaningless response if she could lie.

“Then, when you said that it ‘appears’ that Zodiac was fleeing with his stronghold…did you truly believe that collection of islands in the distance to be Zodiac’s stronghold, or were you merely stating the fact that it appeared to be?”

“The possibility of it being a decoy had occurred to me, but I did not think the odds were significant.”

‘the possibility had occurred’ is far too open to manipulation. If the possibility had occurred to her, and then she went and visually confirmed it, then even if she knew for certain one way or the other, she could still say the possibility had occurred to her without lying.

Out of the mouth of a fae, it meant she was lying without lying. And that meant she had allowed him to fall in the trap in the hopes of finding better employment in the hands of some other Climber.

“I see.” Vincent said, but didn’t press her any further. A cornered rat would bite, after all.

It seems as though I will have to find this set’s true desire in order to fully align its goals with my own.

Another interesting piece of information…Zodiac’s citizens don’t actually know why they’re hunting me. They don’t know what I am.

The reason he knew this: The bounty’s public announcement had made no mention of him hosting a Norworm. It had instead claimed he’d killed others and disrupted the wedding. While ‘Vincent’ had done this, ‘Void’ had not.

Zodiac deliberately withheld that information to prevent a panic.

And Zodiac knew Vincent couldn’t possibly be a Lord.

That opened up an avenue of attack that he’d be completely unprepared for.

When I was Mark, I did spend quite a bit of time getting to know the seedier elements living in the stronghold’s underworld. Vincent made a point of ingratiating himself with the underworld in every new location he lived.

He might one day need to have some illegal service done, or be smuggled out, or hop to a body that no one would question if they disappeared. It was always good to cultivate a relationship with the underworld.

In this case, that prudence was about to pay off.

“Do you know where the real Stronghold is?” Vincent asked.

“I do not.” Aria replied.

It could take years searching the endless void. Three-dimensional space was no joke when it came to the amount of places someone could hide.

He wouldn’t be able to find Zodiac’s stronghold without a little help. Thankfully, Vincent knew a handful of people who would do stupid shit for a bit of cash, whose critical thinking skills weren’t…that great.

***Larnell Smith***

NEW QUEST!

Signal reinforcements for Lord Zodiac. Light the port lighthouse and signal Steve the constellation snake.

REWARD: 50000 XP, 100 Ivory Ten-pieces

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from novelbuddy; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Larnell froze in place, mid-roll. The dice slipped out of his hands, rolling a loss, but none of his companions were looking at the game anymore, either.

“You seeing what I’m seeing?” Larnell asked.

“We got…a quest?” Gibor mused.

Osten simply looked up at the port lighthouse looming above them only a block or so away.

The three men spent most of their afternoons when they weren’t working playing dice in the alleyways of the port, but they always kept their eyes open for an opportunity to lift some product from a merchant who wasn’t keeping his eyes open.

‘Dock tax’, they called it.

“Huh, I guess Zodiac called in some extra muscle to deal with…whatever’s gong on.” Larnell surmised, taking a puff of his pipe and pocketing the dice before the guys could see his roll.

Larnell and the boys just must be the closest ones to the dock lighthouse.

“You’d think Zodiac would know the Lighthouse is facing away from Steve right now.”

Osten said, pointing under their feet.

With the way the islands were nested together, Steve was directly under their feet, and the port lighthouse couldn’t hope to signal anyone using him as a landmark. 𝒻𝘳ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝒷𝘯ℴ𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝑐ℴ𝑚

“Hah, guess he’s not actually that smart.” Gibor said, amusement twinkling in his beady eyes.

“What a fuckin’ moron,” Larnell said.

The three men chuckled with malicious delight at their lord being proven less capable than his own dockworkers, who could easily see the flaw in the old man’s quest.

“Well, he’s gonna figure it out soon and send a different Quest to some people living on the bottom of Residential three, so I guess we’re shit outta luck.” Osten said, squatting back down to resume the game.

“Look, a hundred ten-pieces is a month’s pay for an island-hopper without having to do much. What if we took the lens and lamp out in a boat and signalled Steve from there?” Larnell asked.

Gibor and Osten glanced at each other.

“I...guess that might work. And it’s not like anyone’s at the lighthouse right now anyway.” Gibor said.

“Andy’s boat’s probably big enough.” Osten supplied.

The three men shared a look before all three of them glanced up at the darkened lighthouse, weighing their options.

As one, they shrugged, put their hands in their coat pockets and began meandering towards the lighthouse, with profitable vandalism in mind.

It’s the Zodiac’s fault for mixing up his quests.

The lighthouse was undefended, which made it easy enough to enter, but the actual working part of the lighthouse was a fuckoff-big glass lens, which weighed a literal ton.

It was too big to go down the stairs, so they wound up smashing a hole in the protective dome around it and carrying it out that way.

“Gods this thing is heavy,” Osten grunted from the other side of the lens as they hauled it out the side of the broken glass windows.

“You’re level fifty, don’t complain.” Larnell said, shoving.

“Hold on, hold ON!” Osten shouted an instant before he cursed, yanking his hand back.

SLAM!

The lens tilted forward, and for an instant Larnell thought he was going to watch his friend get crushed under the lens’s weight.

Then the slab of glass teetered the other way and fell over the railing of the outer walkway, landing in Andy’s boat.

CRASH!

“You fuckers!” Gibor shouted up at them, struggling to retain control as Andy’s boat teetered to the side, the decking thoroughly damaged by the falling glass lens. A moment later he righted himself, and Larnell jumped down onto the boat, carrying the lamp.

Osten jumped down a moment later, clutching his finger, which had been simultaneously crushed and scraped up by the glass.

Larnell and Gibor took a moment to laugh at Osten’s bellyaching, until Osten got one over on them.

“Oh yeah, well, what are you gonna to about that?” Osten demanded, pointing at the lens with a giant crack through the center.

The three men stood there silently for a moment, considering their options.

“Well, It should still work if we hold the two halves together, right?” Gibor finally realized.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Larnell said, nodding.

Osten grumbled and wrapped his bleeding finger.

“You don’t wanna back out before we actually get paid, do ya?” Larnell asked, directing his gaze at Osten.

“I didn’t say nuthin’.” Osten grumbled, sitting down and strapping himself in, putting his feet up on the lens to secure it. “Andy’s gonna be pissed.”

“Andy won’t know it was us, because we are setting this boat out to sea after this is all said and done,” Larnell said, glancing back at the damaged lighthouse. He straightened the collar of his coat a little bit, trying to hide his face behind it a bit better.

Something about this felt off. Probably cuz the amount of damage they’d done so far outweighed the reward, so now they had to make sure they didn’t get caught.

Larnell sat down beside Gibor and grabbed the extra handle, giving the barge a bit of extra power, and together they steered it silently into the void.

The trip was silent, but after a short fifteen minute trip, they were out of the shadow of the islands and could actually see Steve.

They were halfway through setting up the two halves of the lens when the bad feeling came back and Larnell realized what it was.

“Ah shit, Zodiac sent us the quest, specifically!” Larnell said, slapping his forehead.

“So?” Osten asked.

“Yeah, so?” Gibor replied, shoving the broken half up against the broken half that Osten was holding. It was tricky to do without gravity, but they’d been working on the docks a long time. It was honestly easier than doing it while the glass was weighing them down.

“That means…you morons…That Zodiac is gonna know exactly who stole the lighthouse lens.” Larnell explained slowly and with plenty of insults, as if to a dimwitted child.

“Fuck.”

“Shit.”

“Damn.”

The three men stood there for a long moment, considering their next move.

“Well, I think we should finish it.” Gibor said.

“Eh?”

“Look at it this way. If we treated it like an important mission and got it done no matter what, they’d be impressed by our resourcefulness and dedication. Maybe the punishment will be less. And at the very least, the extra cash will help pay for the damage. Better than quitting beforehand and looking like pussies that couldn’t even complete a simple quest and still getting reamed for it.” Gibor explained.

“Yeah, that makes sense.” Osten said, nodding.

“Alright then, you two hold it there, I’ll get the lamp up and running.

Larnell poured his Charge into the lamp, which should keep the bright red light shining for days.

Larnell checked the alignment, then nodded.

“Alright, looks good.” they were beaming a strong red light towards Steve. Zodiac’s reinforcements should be able to see them if they looked around well enough.

And just as he was thinking that, they got a message from the System.

Congratulations!

You have completed the Quest:

Signal reinforcements for Lord Zodiac. Light the port lighthouse and signal Steve the constellation snake.

REWARD: 50000 XP, 100 Ivory Ten-pieces.

You may claim your money at your nearest Exchange Hall.

“Nice.” Larnell said.

“Oh, I got a level.” Gibor said, shutting off the boat’s weak gravity.

Larnell took his hands off the handle and left the brilliantly glowing red lamp floating in place behind the lens.

“Alright, let’s get the Abyss out of here before Andy starts wondering where his boat went.”

The three of them flung themselves back towards the island with the practiced ease of seasoned dockworkers, correcting their balance and landing with ease as gravity reasserted itself.

When alarms went up all across the Stronghold, the three dockworkers knew they’d fucked up.

Hundreds of miles away, Vincent studied a glimmering point of red light in the distance, giving a satisfied nod.

“I suppose I should go give those fine fellows my thanks in person,” he mused, necrotic wings sprouting from his back.