The Inner Odyssey-Chapter 106: Idiot

An awkward silence descended on the corridor after Drakon left. Celeste didn't quite know how to act now that she stood alone with Alden again.

Should she put on a fake, easygoing smile and pretend like everything was alright?

It clearly wasn't.

Should she plaster on a cold expression and let the emptiness in her heart come to the fore?

That would only make her feel more bitter.

So, instead, Celeste opted for neither. She settled for staring at the vast crimson pool that was Alden's good eye, and allowed herself a moment to get lost in their captivating depth. She let her mind roam, conjuring images of a future where her lover did not break up with her.

Of a future where her heart would ache, not from pain, but from sheer joy and warmth, close to bursting from much she loved her other half. Of a future where she would grow old, experiencing a lifetime with him by her side.

Unfortunately for Celeste, reality was harsh.

It was also cruel.

But most of all…

It was cold.

The simple truth was that Alden no longer wished to be in a relationship with her. Even if he had a plausible reason for doing so, the fact remained that they were no longer an item, and no longer lovers. At best, they were in a strange limbo - their feelings too strong to be just friends, but too complicated to be partners.

Celeste sighed, sensing a heavy weight settling on her chest. She knew it wasn't physical, but a mental manifestation of the scars her precious love had inadvertently afflicted her with.

Maybe she was unlovable.

Maybe Alden had just used finding himself as an excuse.

Maybe the fault lay with her.

'Enough. Please.'

Celeste begged her mind to stop. She had had enough of thinking for a lifetime. She was exhausted, and she was sure her appearance reflected that - bags under her eyes, rough skin, and a weary gaze. Doubtless they were all there.

She sighed again and shook her head, blinking to escape the spell she had willingly surrendered herself to. The young woman appraised her former lover, noticing the flakes of snow slowly melting on his coat and the dried blood and marks on his cheeks.

She thought she saw him hide a wince, as well. The combination denoted that he had just recently returned from an expedition outside the Sanctuary.

'Did he traverse the Glacial Belt?'

That would be the mostly likely region, considering its proximity to the Territory of Flame.

Celeste tried not to feel too bitter about being left in the dark. Alden rarely if ever told her where he had been, or what he had experienced, even before their breakup. She wanted to share his burdens and relieve him of any suffering. But Alden had not let her.

And that hurt. More than she could possibly ever let on.

Celeste didn't know whether he had refused because he was afraid to, or because he didn't want to add to her stress - she had her own difficulties as a Chosen of the Divine Sovereign, after all.

Either way, the result was the same. Alden had great difficulty relying on others.

It was a mistake to think she could be an exception.

It was a mistake to think she could be special.

The young woman laughed bitterly to herself.

'What a pitiful sight I must be.'

Taking a deep breath, Celeste composed herself.

She saw Alden fidgeting nervously with the strap of his back, and involuntarily felt her lips curling into a faint smile. She suppressed that, schooling her features into a neutral expression, one that wasn't too friendly or too cold.

Just perfect for a stranger.

Because that was what they effectively were now: strangers.

…Albeit ones who shared a home.

Releasing another tired sigh, Celeste sent a nod in Alden's direction before brushing past him as she headed for the door.

"Leftovers from lunch are in the kitchen if you're hungry."

"Cece, I…"

She shook her head.

The time for any words was over.

As she stepped out into the biting cold, Celeste tried not to think of her precious love and what could have possibly been between them.

***

Alden watched Celeste disappear, a forlorn and familiar ache pricking his chest.

Later, sprawled on the bed after soaking in the bath and taking a little nap, he should have felt bliss and been more relaxed. Instead, all he felt was regret and annoyance.

A dark expression marred the young man's features, his jaw clenched tight, accentuated further by the deep scowl he wore as he glared at the wooden ceiling, his thoughts a mess.

Firstly, he had absolutely no idea what to do with Drakon, or how to interact with him.

Alden didn't want to admit it, but the Ember heir was very sincere and seemed genuinely remorseful.

'Ugh, why couldn't he just remain a snobbish brat? Why did he have to change?'

It would have been much easier that way.

That said, Alden had no intention of forgiving Drakon just yet - attempting to separate him from Ignia was one of the worst things a person could ever do. The Ember heir would have to show him through action that he had indeed turned over a new leaf, and that this wasn't some elaborate ploy created to lower his guard so that Drakon could then swoop in when Alden least expected it.

Alden sighed.

It paid to be cautious, so that was what he planned to do.

The other reason for his terrible mood was Celeste.

More specifically, their brief encounter after he had arrived home. It had been terribly awkward for a number of reasons, not the least because of their complicated past and the fact that Drakon and Celeste had conversed about the topic of love, without him present… which made the white-haired young man all sorts of jealous.

Alden was afraid the Ember heir would steal his precious love from him. But most of all, he was envious at how Celeste treated Drakon, which was to say better than him.

The young man could sense it. His former love could barely tolerate his existence; it doubtless being a source of great pain for her.

Alden felt a ton of regret. Not at what he had said on that fateful night - he still believed he had to go on a journey of self-discovery and love himself before he could devote his entire being to Celeste - but in the manner in which he articulated his thoughts and wishes.

'I'm such an idiot.'

There was a high chance he had caused irreparable damage, based on how she had brushed past him when he tried to speak. Unfortunately, what was done was done. He couldn't change how things went. If he could, Alden would immediately go back and smack himself silly, hoping not to taste the bitterness of regret once again.

Alas, he couldn't.

Alden sighed dejectedly and curled in on himself, wishing to escape from the emptiness of his heart.

…The absence of warmth and his precious love.

Shaking his head, Alden was just about to fall asleep again when a cry reverberated in his mind. The young man immediately sat up, his demeanour turning joyful. Any sign of his previous depression vanished, cured by the pitch-black bird of flame who dived into his arms.

Ignia was awake.

…Which meant he could now proceed with his plans.

Alden's gaze slowly turned sharp.