The General's Wife Wants to Leave-Chapter 274: Unfeigned wish

For Joanna to only remember the present moments, where she would not feel that pain ever again, was Canillas’ unfeigned wish.

Since he was brought back to that painful memory, he had promised to do what he did not do in the past and to say what he did not say in the past—to let Joanna know that his love for her was always real.

Yet the fear was still there, lingering inside him.

What if no matter how hard he squeezed his sweat and withdrew his blood to block their past life from reaching her, fate would still bring her there? Would their fate be the same? Canillas had repeatedly questioned that since his memory recognized their past life.

Would Joanna leave him like she did in the past?

Canillas wanted to be in denial. However, he knew that probability existed when he recalled how many times Joanna pushed him away from her side, drawing a bold line between them, even cruelly inflicting pain on her own body just to make him despise her, leave her, and end their marriage.

Joanna did not accept him in their first meeting, not even willing to see him in the eyes, giving him her cold shoulder instead, which was in stark contrast to their moment in their past life, where there was no resistance, rejection, or indifference.

Everything that came from her was acceptance, patience, devotion, warmth, and love.

Therefore, it was enough of a sign for him that her dream, the nightmare that brought tears to her beautiful eyes, had an impact on her. The surge of her emotions toward him was ignited. Her reluctance to live with him was hard to dim.

And he became more sure of that when he noticed the change in her gesture when she saw the carriage that he brought from Archess and when his mother was mentioned. She once again drew a line between them, avoiding him, ignoring him.

She wanted to leave him once again.

But he reminded himself—a reminder he built to prevent the fear from engulfing him.

Joanna would not leave him.

A probability existed because there was uncertainty that existed among the certainty. It was hard to predict the outcome of an event. An event that was likely to occur could not occur.

Joanna still had him in her heart. And he could sense that.

There were moments when she stood up for him amidst her persistence to get rid of him, showing him her cold side and not acknowledging his existence.

He remembered when Joanna welcomed him home with her eyes sparkling after he did not come to meet her for days, as he went mad and tried to disappear from her life, which was enough to tell him that she had been waiting for his return and was happy when he returned.

He could not forget the moment she was worried and tried to comfort him, cheer him up, miraculously willing to open her arms to embrace him with her warmth when he was silent in deep contemplation of letting her go or not, as avoiding her for days still gave him no answer to decide.

And that warm gesture that he longed for to his bone was the answer he needed. He decided to keep her by his side once again in this lifetime.

He pushed aside all the agonizing thoughts to be dared to settle on a decision to not let her go, binding her with a blood agreement with him. Because that warm gesture was the same gesture that she never tired of showering on the unworthy him despite all the circumstances in their past life.

His Joanna was still with him amidst the mix of emotions that shackled her from embracing him wholeheartedly. But he accepted that. He was fine with that.

For everything that had happened and shattered her, he would be the one to hold her hand this time. He would not stop from pacing forward to approach her and put his arms around her in this lifetime. He would pay for what had happened in the past.

He would get her love back. He would not lose her beautiful smile. He would always find her tender gaze. His arms would always hold her warmth. And he would not be in that cold, empty space alone without her presence ever again.

"Put on your clothes."

Quickly, Canillas shifted his emotions when Joanna’s soft voice seeped into his senses.

Swiftly, he drawled his vacant gaze to focus on Joanna’s face.

He still had a hope to be with her as a new person in a new life with a new fate. Because it was his last sincere wish before his life in the past turned into ashes in the air.

He wanted to see her once again.

He wanted to make amends for all the regret that could not be undone in the past.

He wanted to be with her once again... because he loved her... his Joanna... his wife... his woman... his first and last love.

"Put on your clothes." Canillas heard Joanna repeat her demand in a timid voice, realizing that she did not answer his previous teasing question.

Her hazel eyes, which evoked natural tones of autumn leaves that were scattered above and beneath them, were fixed in one direction but not toward him.

With a smile that he put on his lips despite the prick that tingled his heart, Canillas whispered near Joanna’s blushing earlobe, "No. You haven’t seen me, have you?"

Shifting her head to distance it from the tickling sensation that was derived from Canillas’ warm breath, Joanna replied, "Y-Y-You will catch a cold if you don’t... c-cover your... b-body... p-properly." She stammered, struggling to find the most proper words to convey while attempting to look not affected by what was displayed in front of her.

But her body betrayed her, reacting the other way around. The chimes of her chaotic heartbeat rang loudly in her ears.

It was her first time seeing bare-chested men, particularly the one who was only a few inches away from her eyes. Yet he seemed to enjoy her suffering as he moved closer and closer toward her, making her pin her back deeper against the trunk of the tree behind her.

"If I fall sick, I have my Joanna to take care of me, don’t I?" Canillas uttered, smiling faintly at the alluring crimson before him that once again evoked their past memory to echo in his mind.

"I-I believe it is always b-better to be h-healthy than to be s-sick," Joanna spoke, still with a trace of stammering, as she failed to calm her rampant heart that thumped more when he called her his Joanna with his magnetic voice. "P-please put on your clothes, S-Sir Canillas."

Finding the mischievous man in front of her giving her no response as he was quiet, Joanna glanced at him only to have her gaze nailed at his face as she found him staring down at her with a gloomy expression. But it did not last long.

In her single breath, as if what she saw before was an illusion, a smile now settled on the now-beaming face.

"I need your help," Joanna said. Subconsciously, her questioning mind took away her nervousness. "That’s why I came here." Her eyes roamed over Canillas’ face as she wanted to find certainty about whether she saw an illusion or not.

But what she captured next was a different expression. It was neither gloominess nor excitement. What became a sight in her eyes was a man with his brows furrowed.

On the other side, hearing the revelation of why Joanna came to find him, Canillas was surprised. His forced calm demeanor shifted. "Need my help?" With his brows tightly knitted, he questioned before taking two steps back so that he could get a better look to scan Joanna from top to toe.

"What’s wrong? Did something happen? Are you not feeling well?" He was back to standing close in front of Joanna, reaching out his hand, but before he touched any part of Joanna’s face, he lowered his hand and brought it back to his side.

Joanna noticed that. She also noticed his bizarre reactions that made her astounded. She only said that she needed his help, yet he thought far beyond that.

With a warm smile adorning her face, Joanna said, "I am fine. Nothing happened to me." The tone of her voice was gentle as she tried to reassure the now distressed-looking man, who still had his eyebrows lowered and pulled closer together.

Finding Canillas silent on his spot as if he disbelieved what she said, Joanna uttered, "Put on your clothes. We need to hurry." She urged him without glancing even for the slightest at the bare part of Canillas’ body, whose height towered over her. She fixed her gaze on his face, where worry was still painted on.

"What is it that you need me to help you with, Joanna?" Canillas asked instead of proceeding with Joanna’s request. Curiosity mixed with worry loomed inside him.

Joanna, his wife, never once asked for help from him in their past life. As if preventing herself from being a burden or nuisance for him, ’I need your help’ were words that he never heard from her.

Until the last moment he saw her, the words that he surprisingly heard from the lady before him just now were never uttered by her in the past.

Thus, he was confused and surprised. Facing different occasions from the past with his memory intact made him unable to think clearly of how to respond.

"I will tell you on our way back to the garden." It was her answer.

"Garden?" Canillas asked, raising his brows. "Your Alenna Garden?" He made his words clearer, which was answered with a nod by Joanna.

Without questioning more, even though he wondered whether she needed his help to plow, dig the soil, or do gardening with her in her favorite garden, Canillas stared at Joanna for a few seconds before saying, "I need five minutes. Will you wait for me here, or will you go back first?"

And he soon dashed towards the direction of the knight’s quarter after Joanna answered him with, "I will wait for you here."