Taming the Beast World with a Frying Pan-Chapter 191: The Parkour Pig Returns

The forest was quiet, save for the squelch of Viper’s feet in the mud and Ren’s frantic, shallow breathing.

Viper was walking with purpose, his back straight under the weight of the massive Golden Eagle. He was already visualizing the smile that would grace his King’s face.

"Almost there," Viper hissed over his shoulder. "The King will be pleased."

Ren bit her lip, staring at Altair’s limp wing bouncing with every step Viper took.

’Please don’t die,’ she prayed silently.

Suddenly, a golden glow began to emanate from the bird.

It started faint, like a dying ember, but quickly flared into a brilliant, blinding light.

"What—" Viper started, stopping in his tracks.

WHOOSH.

The weight on his back vanished.

Ren gasped, shielding her eyes against the sudden radiance.

When the spots cleared from her vision, she looked up.

Hovering twenty feet in the air was the Golden Eagle.

His feathers were no longer matted with blood. They were pristine, shimmering like polished gold. His bent wing was straight and strong. His eyes, sharp and clear, locked onto Ren for a split second.

Then, with a single powerful beat of his wings, he shot upward like a missile, disappearing through the trees and into the open sky.

Silence descended on the clearing.

Viper stood there, his arms still held in the position of carrying a heavy load, staring blankly at the empty space where his redemption used to be.

"The King’s lunch," Viper whispered, his voice cracking.

He lowered his arms slowly. His shoulders slumped.

"I have lost the King’s lunch," Viper continued in a monotone. "Returning the female will not be enough. The King will take my arms. Perhaps my legs too. I will be forced to stay in beast form."

He looked at Ren with the dead eyes of a man who had already accepted his fate.

Ren, on the other hand, let out a breath of relief.

"Oh, thank God," she whispered, clutching her chest. "He’s okay."

She watched the patch of sky where Altair had vanished. A pang of sadness hit her—he left again without saying goodbye—but it was quickly overwhelmed by sheer relief.

’What would I have told them?’ Ren thought, imagining the scene. ’"Hey guys, honey’s home! I brought herbs, water, and this incredibly handsome, naked bird man who I may or may not have messed around with a bit in a tree. Can we keep him?"’

She snorted.

’Yeah, right. Viper is an idiot, but Kael and Syris might be able to tell a wild beast different from a beastman. They would rip him to shreds before I could say "he’s just a friend."’

She had been willing to risk it because he was dying. She could have sold the "Good Samaritan" angle. ’"Oh, look, a wounded traveler! Let’s heal him and send him on his way!"’

But if he was fine? If he walked in there glowing with health and handsomeness? 𝕗𝕣𝐞𝐞𝘄𝐞𝚋𝚗𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗹.𝚌𝕠𝚖

’They would assume I was door-dashing a third husband,’ Ren realized.

She shook her head. ’Friendship is not a popular concept in this Beast World. Everyone is either a mate, a meal, or a mortal enemy. And I have the delightful mission of making two rival Beast Kings become BFFs.’

"Yippee," Ren drawled sarcastically to the air. "I can’t wait for the sleepovers."

Still, a massive weight lifted off her shoulders. With Altair gone, the target on her back shrank significantly. She didn’t have to worry about bounty hunters jumping out of the bushes anymore.

Viper was still staring at the sky, trembling. His mind was racing, processing what he had just witnessed.

’Impossible,’ Viper thought, his pupils dilating. ’To heal broken bones and fatal wounds in seconds? Not even a Beast King possesses such vitality. That bird... that was not a normal bird.’

"A wild beast with such power..." Viper mumbled, his hands shaking. "Eating it would have made the King invincible."

"I have failed," Viper declared dramatically, holding his own throat. "I missed the meal of a lifetime. I should end it now. Save the King the trouble."

"HEY!"

Ren slapped his arm, hard.

"Stop being so dramatic!" Ren scolded him. "Stop doing that! You are not killing yourself over a bird! There’s plenty of food in the forest!"

Viper looked at her with wet, pathetic eyes. "But it was a magic bird."

"It was a pigeon on steroids," Ren lied. "Calm down."

Rustle.

Ren froze.

The bushes to her right shook.

Out stepped a small, round, brown creature.

It had floppy ears. It had a corkscrew tail. It had a smug expression on its face as it chewed on a root.

Ren’s eyes narrowed into slits.

It was him.

The Pig. The Parkour Pig.

Her mortal enemy had returned.

Ren pointed a shaking finger at the chubby beast.

"CATCH THAT PIG!" Ren screamed, her voice cracking like a whip.

Viper didn’t ask questions, after all, he needed a new catch for his King.

"Hiss!"

Viper lunged. He moved with the speed of a striking cobra, his hand outstretched to grab the pig by the scruff of its neck.

But the pig was ready.

It performed a perfect Matrix dodge. It leaned back, letting Viper’s hand sail harmlessly over its snout, then spun on its hooves and bolted between Viper’s legs.

"It is fast!" Viper gasped, stumbling as he tried to turn around without tangling his own legs.

"Don’t let it reach the bushes!" Ren yelled, sprinting forward like a linebacker.

The pig zig-zagged. It was a brown blur of pure chaos.

Ren dove. "I got you!"

Splat.

Ren hit the mud face-first. Her arms closed around empty air. The pig had literally jumped over her head, using her back as a springboard to launch itself toward Viper.

"I have it!" Viper announced, waiting like a goalkeeper.

The pig didn’t stop. It didn’t turn. It ran straight at Viper.

"It attacks!" Viper hissed, confused. He prepared to kick it.

At the last second, the pig braked, did a 180-degree drift in the mud, spraying dirt directly into Viper’s eyes.

"MY EYES!" Viper screeched, clutching his face.

"Viper! Focus!" Ren scrambled to her feet, spitting out a leaf. "Flank him! Flank that porky bastard!"

The pig was mocking them. It stopped near a tree, wiggling its curly tail.

"Oh, it’s personal now," Ren growled.

"I will kill it," Viper hissed, blinking tears out of his eyes.

They coordinated their attack. Viper went left. Ren went right. They closed in on the tree.

"Now!" Ren shouted.

Viper struck from the shadows. Ren struck from the light.

The pig squealed and scrambled up the tree trunk—defying gravity yet again—before backflipping off the bark and landing behind them.

Viper spun around so fast he tripped over his own feet and went down hard. "Oof!"

The pig saw an opening. It revved its tiny legs and shot toward the thick underbrush, aiming for freedom.

"NO YOU DON’T!" Ren roared.

She threw herself.

It was a move born of pure desperation and starvation. Ren launched her body through the air in a horizontal belly flop.

"KAI-YAAAA!"

The pig looked back. It saw a flying woman in a wool sack blocking out the sun.

CRUNCH.

Ren landed.

The air left her lungs in a painful whoosh. But beneath her chest, wiggling frantically in the mud, was a solid, squealing lump.

"I..." Ren wheezed, grabbing a floppy ear with one hand and a trotter with the other. "I... got... him..."

Viper sat up, covered in mud, leaves sticking to his scales. He looked at Ren, who was currently wrestling a piglet in a mud puddle.

"You caught it," Viper whispered in awe.

Ren lifted her head. Her face was brown with mud. She looked like a swamp monster.

But she was grinning.

"Lunch," Ren declared, tightening her grip on the squealing pork chop, "is caught."