Taming the Beast World with a Frying Pan-Chapter 164: Pending Operation Besties

Ren stared up at the cavern ceiling.

The bioluminescent flowers cast a soft, hypnotic glow against the limestone, pulsing gently like a slow heartbeat. It was beautiful. It was peaceful.

It was also incredibly itchy.

She shifted on the pile of raw sheep’s wool Vex had designated as her bed. The "dress" he had given her—which was basically a burlap wool sack—scratched against her skin with every breath.

Across the cavern, Vex was curled up on his own pile of furs, looking annoyingly comfortable.

Ren’s mind drifted away from the itch and back to the surface.

’Kael. Syris.’

She chewed her bottom lip.

’I hope Viper got to them. I hope they stopped measuring their... egos... and realized that the Black Tiger is the actual enemy.’

The thought of them hurting each other made her chest tight. They were both idiots, yes. They were possessive, arrogant, and had the emotional maturity of toddlers fighting over a toy truck. But they were her idiots.

’Why can’t they just get along?’ Ren sighed, staring at a particularly bright blue flower. ’They are so similar. They’re both Beast Kings. They’re both stubborn. They both like hitting things. They should be bros. They should be fist-bumping and grilling meat together.’

A wild, impossible idea began to take root in her brain.

’I need to stop them from killing each other,’ Ren realized. ’And not just for tonight. For forever.’

She narrowed her eyes.

’I am going to turn them into best friends.’

The irony wasn’t lost on her. Here she was, Ren Reynolds, a woman whose only "friend" in her previous life was a sous-chef she regularly fantasized about murdering, deciding to engineer a bromance between two apex predators who were sworn enemies.

’I’m going to make them bond,’ Ren decided firmly. ’I will make them realize they are soulmates.’

[System: Ding!]

[Side Quest Triggered: The Fellowship of the Fangs.] [Objective: Improve the relationship between Subject: Kael and Subject: Syris. Prevent the Rite of the Severed Fang.] [Difficulty: Nightmare.] [Reward: 50,000 Survival Points (XP).] [Current XP Balance: -4,500 (You are broke, Host).]

Ren’s eyes sparkled. Survival Points. She needed those. She was currently in debt to the System!

’Perfect,’ Ren thought.

She grinned up at the rocky roof. A plan was forming in her mind. A devious, brilliant, slightly manipulative plan.

Ren had a hidden talent for acting. Back in high school, she had played a tree in The Wizard of Oz and received rave reviews for her "stoic bark presence." She was going to use those skills.

"Vex," Ren whispered loudly.

A fox ear twitched across the room.

"Vex, are you awake?"

"No," Vex groaned, keeping his eyes closed. "I am asleep. I am dreaming of a world where females don’t talk."

"I want to go back to the tree tomorrow," Ren announced, ignoring his sarcasm. "Kael and Syris will be waiting for me there. Viper is leading them to it."

Vex opened one eye. He frowned.

"If I go back to that tree," Vex said slowly, "they will kill me. Syris will definitely skin me. And I prefer my skin attached to my body, thank you."

"You shouldn’t let them see you then," Ren argued. "Just drop me off nearby."

Vex sat up, looking offended. "You want me to abandon my home? My glorious tree den? Because you brought two vengeful Beast Kings to my doorstep?"

"I didn’t bring them!" Ren shot up into a seated position, clutching the itchy dress.

"And it isn’t my fault they want to kill you!" Ren argued back. "You are the one who pissed them off! I’m sure you have pissed off every living thing in this forest! You are a professional annoyance!"

Vex scoffed. He flopped back down. "You will have to go back by yourself."

Ren stared at him.

"Fine," she huffed. "I’ll find it myself."

She paused. She didn’t know the way back. She didn’t even know where "here" was. They were underground in a magical cave.

"I will talk to them," Ren tried to convince him. "I will explain everything. I will tell them you saved me."

Vex chuckled humorlessly.

"Did you not also talk to Syris about sharing you with Kael?" Vex asked pointedly. "You used your words. You explained your feelings. And look... they are still trying to kill each other."

Ren’s mouth opened. Then it closed.

He was right.

Her husbands had egos made of spun sugar and dynamite. They were easily swayed when their pride was challenged. One wrong word, one snide comment from Vex, and they would forget any promise of amnesty. They would snap his neck and ask for her forgiveness later.

Ren yawned, a massive, jaw-cracking sound. The adrenaline of the argument was fading, replaced by a crushing wave of exhaustion.

She plopped back down onto the wool furs.

"Do you admit defeat?" Vex’s voice pierced through her drowsiness.

Ren’s eyes shot open, though the lids were heavy.

"No," she mumbled. "I will find the tree myself."

’The System can guide me,’ Ren thought confidently. ’...I hope?’

"It is scary out there," Vex tried to spook her, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Especially now. It is the Song Moon. Mating Season. The forest is full of desperate males looking for anything that breathes."

"Don’t worry about me," Ren muttered, closing her eyes. "I am tougher than I look."

’Please,’ she scoffed internally. ’I fought off Vara’s psycho boyfriend while I had a concussion. I can handle a few horny squirrels.’

She snuggled into the fur.

Physically, she felt worlds better. The bitter herbs Vex had forced her to chew were working miracles. Her head no longer pounded like a drum. The nausea and dizziness were gone.

Her nose was still stuffed up, and her throat felt like she had swallowed sandpaper, but compared to the near-death experience of the pit, she felt fantastic. Her body was still running a bit hot, but between the wool dress, the wool bedding, and the geothermal heating of the cavern, that was to be expected.

She was just tired. Bone-deep tired.

"Are you intending to take over my den permanently?" Vex asked into the silence.

"I’m just borrowing it," Ren mumbled. "Just for a little while."

She needed a base. The White Tiger village was destroyed. She wasn’t sure if she would return to the swamp with Syris or stay in the forest to help Kael rebuild his clan.

’That’s an annoying and difficult decision,’ Ren decided sleepily. ’I’ll leave that problem for Future Ren. Future Ren hates me anyway.’

"I’ll pay rent," Ren offered, her voice slurring. "I’ll clean your den. And... I’ll cook for you. Delicious food. Better than weird, bitter...herbs and mushrooms."

There was a pause.

"Deal," Vex said instantly.

Ren smiled into the fur. She drifted off, her hand occasionally coming up to scratch at the itchy wool dress in her sleep.

Meanwhile.

Miles away, back in the ruins of the White Tiger Clan village.

The dust had finally settled. The air was raw and heavy with the metallic scent of blood.

In the center of the devastation, amidst the splintered wood and crushed stones, the battle was over.

One figure was standing.

Three were on the ground.