Sweet like Wine: Love Your Dimples Even More-Chapter 79 - 50: Dust-Laden Past, Confusion in Her Eyes

Chapter 79: Chapter 50: Dust-Laden Past, Confusion in Her Eyes

When Summer Fairmont saw the words "your mom" in Hieronymus’s letter, it was like handling a hot potato, and she tossed it far away.

What does "your mom" even mean? How could she, Summer Fairmont, have a mom?

In this world, who doesn’t have a mom?

She, Summer Fairmont, simply doesn’t.

She neither remembers nor is curious.

She isn’t interested, nor does she want to remember.

What Hieronymus thought might be the most important thing to Summer does not exist in her current memory.

The beginning of this handwritten letter made Summer Fairmont realize that Hieronymus didn’t see her as an unshakable responsibility and burden, nor did he harbor endless resentment towards her.

Hieronymus did not want to "infect" Summer Fairmont with his own curse.

But so what?

Hieronymus thought Summer Fairmont would know much about her childhood.

The fact and the assumption were divided by an insurmountable "taken for granted".

She had completely forgotten everything before the age of four, and even now, there was no sign of those memories resurfacing.

Summer Fairmont’s memory began with a pair of bloodied hands.

She woke up from endless darkness; she was in pain, but she didn’t know why she hurt.

Summer Fairmont did not lose her memory; she just had the endless imagination of a normal four-year-old.

Other four-year-old kids would imagine the toy cars and dolls in their hands were real.

Summer Fairmont would imagine the wounds on her hands were fake, that nothing had happened, that the world was still beautiful.

Imagination after imagination, Summer Fairmont truly forgot about the bloodied hands and everything before.

Summer Fairmont stored that memory in a top-level safe, poured a thick layer of 502 glue, and built a thick wall of reinforced concrete.

A barrier that even shells couldn’t penetrate wasn’t something that the start of a letter could dissolve.

Hieronymus didn’t mention Quinn Fairmont’s name in the letter. Even if Summer Fairmont had finished reading it, she wouldn’t know which name "mom" was supposed to correspond to.

Hieronymus also didn’t say in the letter that his initial indifference towards Summer Fairmont was because he had poured too much of his student-mentor feelings into Quinn Fairmont and had held an undeserved last hope for Summer Fairmont’s winemaking talent.

So many things that should have been made clear weren’t at all, yet he said he was glad to go to Hell, and even happier that Summer Fairmont read the letter.

What’s there to be happy about?

Growing up in an extremely cold environment, Summer Fairmont didn’t know how to face the letter Hieronymus left for her.

She wanted reconciliation with the past more than anyone.

Who would want to carry a cold childhood?

Summer Fairmont wished her memories could start from age 13, yet she remembered so many years of darkness and coldness.

She didn’t know how to vent her emotions nor how to come to terms with Hieronymus in her heart.

Should she cry?

Should she be moved?

Or should she continue resisting?

She completely didn’t know what kind of feelings she should have when facing a half-read letter.

How to handle it?

Keep it, or burn it?

In Summer Fairmont’s subconscious, she didn’t want to recall her childhood at all.

Should someone who was traumatized into sealing an entire memory open up her bloodied memories one more time just because of the start of a letter, and search through it carefully again?

Telling her they’re afraid their curse would bring misfortune to Summer Fairmont.

But what kind of misfortune could be more disastrous than leaving a four-year-old to fend for themselves?

Summer Fairmont didn’t think of herself as an unreasonable person.

Yet why, did she feel an urge to cry?

This feeling was so perplexingly unreasonable.

Even when Hieronymus died, she didn’t feel even a little like crying.

Yet now, just after seeing a few crooked words, she’s here mourning?

Who gave her that right?

Who granted her that privilege?

Before returning to Scotland, she even told Artie Vaughn she wanted to return alone, to face the past, let go of everything, and say goodbye.

But why did she want to face the past?

She clearly knew what she was facing was darkness and that such darkness shouldn’t overshadow Artie’s light.

Yet, why did she come to look?