Surviving in my Own Unpublished Failed Novel-Chapter 133 Existential Crisis

Under the deep night sky where the countless nexus of stars shimmered above the gigantic bluish moon, Russell, lying on the roof of their new home, was dazed — feeling that his world just came crashing down, in an instant at that.

The sounds of System notifications were neglected. Tears of unknown causes kept flowing down from Russell's gleaming deep blue eyes as he wandered into the sudden and unforeseen circumstances. It stirred his entire being.

"Who am I...?"

His raspy voice gently mixed itself along with the cold winds, dancing through the night. He was not sure if the winds were celebrating his identity crisis or moving as it was supposed to be.

Glancing at his soundly sleeping younger sister, who was about to wake up soon, he questioned himself if she and his parents were really his family — a very dangerous thought for someone like him who valued them the most in this world, more than any riches the world could offer.

Russell's mind was still blank, like an empty sea where cerulean water was necessary for it to truly function.

'What do I do...?'

Not knowing what to do, he lay on the roof of their new home. It was made of gray galvanized iron sheets of the best quality. With his back against the roof, he felt the cold on his back, with the roof being made from something that was a good thermal conductor. Even though that's the case, it wasn't comparable to the cold he was feeling inside, like an empty shell pervaded by cold winds, and had itself covered, trapping the chills inside.

It wasn't the visions that were shown to him that were making him feel empty, but rather the memory of his, appearing in the Hidden Dungeon, The Oldest Root of Yggdrasil.

He could not care less about the mysterious coffins with peculiar characteristics, the mystifying words of the Goddess of Night delivered to the existences named Daedessa and Daedeya, and Her cryptic words before he woke up in reality.

'How is that possible...?'

He thought inwardly. Many questions were appearing in his mind like an assembly of his brain cells had waited to work together for this moment — to form numerous questions about himself.

Cough. Cough.

Subconsciously letting out a cough, he fell into sleep. Maybe he was hoping that everything he had seen was all just a dream. Maybe he was hoping that it was not real and that he would continue to live his life as an unimportant individual in this world — who just wanted to be stronger so he could protect his family.

But the cruelty of fate was hammered into his very being; his spirit dimmed, his soul crushed, his mind stormed, his body enfeebled, and his identity questioned.

The depressed sleeping man, when he woke up, would have no choice but to face the mysteries waiting to be unveiled from the shadows of an untold story.

***

"Mom... he barely eats his meal."

Freya worriedly spoke after she checked on her older brother who caught the flu — the only recurring mild disease after the influence of the Constellations had been strengthened, specifically caused by the Constellation of the Queen of Etheria.

More than a week had passed since Russell suffered from the flu, just after he had woken up from the mysterious visions that were shown to him through something called the Cosmic Dream.

"Let him be... There must be a lot in his mind right now."

Hearing the words of her mother: Melina Moon, Freya recalled when they were still children — not that they were old enough to be called a true adult. Russell, around 7 to 10 years old, was a lot like him presently. He barely talked as though he considered people as beings not worth conversing with.

"But Mom... it's been more than a week."

Freya pressed the matter due to her deep concern.

"Freya, your mother is right. Just give him some space, Okay?"

Her father supported his wife as he should.

Freya sighed at the obscure biased from his father before she went back to her bedroom.

***

Many unfathomable things had transpired after Russell's vision through the Cosmic Dream, but one of the most significant changes was the certain Announcement that appeared in everyone's eyes at 6:01 A.M., just after a few hours since he started to question his existence.

[Universal Announcement!]

[The System will undergo a reboot!]

[The Tower of Growth will not be accessible for the time being!]

[Approximate Reboot Duration: 336 hours.]

[Rebooting: 1%... 2%...]

It was the first time that such an announcement, with its prefix "universal", appeared. The only announcement of this scale was only broadcasted prior to the cataclysmic event or the Emergence that devastated the world.

— BREAKING NEWS: Universal vs. Astronomical Announcement? Which is larger in scale?

— BREAKING NEWS: System's Reboot? Is the System faulty all along?

— BREAKING NEWS: Changing of times! The System can not be browsed! Is this what life looks like in the Old World?

— BREAKING NEWS: The "Church of the System" has released a statement that the System just rested for the betterment of humanity.

— BREAKING NEWS: The Obelisk Organization has released a formal statement, telling every player — civilian, adventurer, and affiliated to calm down.

Russell, lying on his bed like a dead man with no purpose or will, read through his smartwatch the news that trended almost two weeks ago.

Due to his mental and emotional breakdown, along with the System's Reboot that should have happened a few years from now after the "last" Close Mystery Tower opened, Russell couldn't browse the System messages that he received. He felt like he was back in his previous life — if that was really something that existed — when something like the System and Status Windows didn't exist.

He felt powerless, like a puny human being who chose to live a life of misery.

***

"Hup-!"

Rumia Flora and Elizabeth von Etherion were now staying in one of the villas that the latter owned. The two were having a sparring match because their supposed-to-be battle against the player death row prisoners was on hold because of the unprecedented System's Reboot — something that never occurred in Emergence history.

The [Player]'s overall powers didn't disappear as the System was rebooting. Unique Skills, Skills, Traits, and Authorities — if the individual had a contract with a Constellation, were still available for use. The reason why the Queen of Nereia and the Queen of Etheria postponed the death row executions was simply due to their concern about the abnormality of the circumstances.

"Easy now, Rumia. Are you mad or what?"

Elizabeth smiled, parrying Rumia's 4-meter whip — Whip of the Slard (Legendary), her Personal Weapon that she conjured during their first Virtual War under the courtesy of Professor Murak of their Player Physical Education class.

"I'm not mad, I'm just concerned, like what's happening to the world?"

Elizabeth, with an unrelenting smile, scoffed at Rumia's words before she added:

"It's not like we know every little thing that's happening throughout the world, right?"

***

"Son, your contract-making with the Constellation will be delayed because of unknown circumstances."

Leon heard his father, Draxian — the head of the Obreyon Family — spoke casually with a mix of firmness in his tone as he reached for a cooked high-quality steak, imported from Cassiopeia — that was well-known for sodas.

"It's okay, father. I can wait."

Mira, sitting on one of the high-back chairs, listened to the conversation. A shred of jealousy was lurking in her heart; however, she was not someone who would let such matters truly affect her will to become stronger.

'I hope the System's Reboot will be of great help somehow!'

She cheerfully and excitedly thought as she quietly ate her meal placed on the long, mottled, luxurious-looking table.

***

"You... You are being rough. What's the matter?"

"I notice it, too. But it seems you are venting something against us."

Anya voiced her thoughts which was followed by Jiho. These two were speaking to Samantha while their asses fell on the floor of the training ground in one of the vacation houses of the Amasawa family. Samantha seemed off the mood since the knowledge she had learned from the being in her head. She mercilessly beat the two as though she was cutting a few ragdolls.

Samantha didn't go back home, instead, with incertitude, she asked her father if she could stay with Anya during the short vacation. Jiho then did the same by asking Chancellor Alexander, his fatherly figure, based on what other people perceived them to be, at least.

"You two are improving greatly, keep it up."

Brushing off the little rants of the two, she gave them a compliment instead.

"What's the final party lineup for the Tower of Growth raid?" ƒ𝔯𝗲𝗲𝙬𝒆𝚋𝐧oѵℯl.𝒄𝑜m

Anya asked instead, she didn't press on the mood of Samantha since she ignored their questions — meaning that Samantha had no plan in answering such questions.

"Rumia and Elizabeth will form a party, together with their teammates in the first Virtual War."

Samantha stated the information she gathered, or more like spilled by Rumia to her, like a woman who couldn't shut her mouth — it's not like it mattered to her, but she found it somehow annoying.

"That would form an 8-person party. I wonder who would be the additional 2. Well, it's not like you need a maximum count of players to access the Tower of Growth."

"About that... Elizabeth invited me, but I declined because I have prior talks with you."

Jiho reluctantly spoke after Anya.

"It doesn't matter. What matters is getting stronger. So, stand up and let me beat the two of you up."

Anya frowned at Samantha's words, but they firmly obliged — with different thoughts flowing in their minds.

***

"Sir Britz, what's the job?"

"Hey! Czerina, just a quick errand."

Sir Britz or the Shadow Crusader, that ran into Russell and Amelie when they raided the Black Cut Pub in the Western Olympia — in the area of influence of the Shadow Guild, spoke while being intoxicated by alcohol this early in the morning.

The name he had spoken, Czerina, was the one who managed to kill Russell through her Unique Skill: Strike Transmission — while wearing a hotel maid dress at that.

"What's the order, Sir?"

Sitting on one of the stools in front of the pub counter, she asked.

"Give this money as compensation to the family who lost someone who's working for the Shadow Guild. His name's Algar, his family lives in that certain region of Etheria. You should take a Teleporter with you, so it'll be done quickly."

Czerina had a disapproving look, processing what she heard.

'Why do I need to get through this?!'

She grumbled in her mind, thinking it was better for her to just remained as a maid instead.

"I know that look, but don't worry. It's only one. To be honest, two men died, but the other one didn't have any family to go back to." 𝘧𝘳𝐞𝚎𝑤ℯ𝘣𝗻𝘰ѵℯl.c𝐨𝚖

"Died? What's the cause?"

Wanting to know the reason behind her seemed mentally taxing task, she asked, at least.

"Strayed Dungeon, handled by Thorn of Rose."

She didn't pry any further. Taking the suitcase of money Sir Britz placed on the table, Czerina beckoned a Teleporter under the Shadow Guild who was having a good time in the Black Cat Pub.

***

In a certain region of Etheria, Czerina, along with the Teleporter, arrived in farmland where numerous fine-looking red-in-exterior barns were situated. There were fresh and aesthetic fruits and vegetables of various kinds, as well as herbivore animals roaming in peace — something that humanity seemed to long for, but was unable to live in for a long time.

They managed to quickly find the right place due to Algar's personal information that was required to be part of the Shadow Guild — or any other guild.

Knock. Knock.

Czerina, knocking a few times on a wooden, but somewhat sturdy door — from a civilian player's perspective.

With the click and intermittently creaking sound, the door opened, revealing a mother figure and two children — a young boy that was around 4 to 5 years old, and a young girl that was around 6 to 7 years old.

"Hello, ma'am. I know it's early in the morning, but we are from the Shadow Guild, and we are tasked to bring the compensation... I'm sorry for your loss. Please, take this money."

Czerina, who wanted to end the errand right away, just explained a few things regarding what happened before she and the Teleporter bid goodbye. Vanishing from the farmland, the mother and her children had a look of wonder painted on their innocent faces.

"Mom... Who's Algar?"

"Right Mom...?"

The young boy and young girl asked in confusion, with innocent wondrous expressions.

"...I don't know either."

The mother seriously and perplexedly replied, holding a suitcase full of money.