Submitting to My Best Friend's Dad-Chapter 1042 : Reunited Gazes

*Bianca*

The first thing that I became aware of was the fact that I couldn’t move. My limbs felt heavy and it was dark. I was vaguely aware of a warm voice that seemed far away, calling to me and trying to bring me back to consciousness.

I was floating in darkness but I felt strangely at peace. There was no pain here like I had been experiencing over the last several hours.

The thought did bring panic up to the surface. Where was I? Where was Leo and my babies? I needed to see them.

I fought with the unconsciousness, trying to bring myself to the light. I felt like I was running through the shadows for hours before a tiny light appeared in front of me. I started toward it desperately, knowing that it would take me back to Leo. It was confirmed when I started to approach and Leo’s voice met my ears.

I couldn’t tell what my fiance was saying but his deep, sultry voice was so soothing that it really didn’t matter. He could be saying complete gibberish and it would still be the most wonderful sound to me.

It wasn’t enough to just hear his voice though. I needed to see him with my own eyes. I needed to see for myself that he was alright and that we could be together again.

I needed to be with my family.

I felt as if I was clawing for the light, Leo’s voice growing louder as I reached for him with my mind.

With difficulty, I opened my eyes.

I couldn’t see anything but white light at first but the voices were louder now and I could make out some of the words. I was aware of a second sound that was almost as wondrous as the first.

My baby was grunting and cooing.

“You look just like your mommy,” I heard Leo say in a soft, gentle voice that sounded like the start of a lullaby. “You have the most beautiful eyes. You are definitely going to be a heartbreaker when you grow up.”

I blinked hard, trying to clear the blurriness from my vision. It took a while but it was more than worth it when the scene before me started to take shape.

Leo was sitting right next to me. I was lying on a bed with cool sheets and my fiance was sitting in a chair by my bedside.

“You might have the looks of a little heartbreaker but I am going to tell you right now that you are going to treat women with respect, young man,” Leo said, his voice stern but still shrouded in gentleness.

I was barely awake but my heart still soared at Leo’s words. He was holding our son and already speaking to him so lovingly.

“I know that you will be a kind boy though,” Leo said after a long moment. “And you know why, little guy? Because you are half your mommy and even if you inherit just a tiny bit of kindness from her, you are going to be such a kind man. I have no doubts about that.”

“Leo,” I managed to croak. I winced, my throat feeling like it was made of sand paper.

Leo froze and then his head snapped up so that his eyes could meet mine.

“Bianca,” he said through unmoving lips.

“Hi,” I murmured tiredly.

Leo was by my side in a flash, carefully tucking our son against his chest and cradling him with one arm so that he could wrap his other one around me. I could feel that he was trying to be gentle with me but the relief was overtaking him, causing him to squeeze me slightly.

He pressed his forehead to mine for a long moment. I could hear him murmuring a prayer of thanks as he held me and our son close to him.

“Leo,” I said, unsure of what else to say.

Leo didn’t say anything either, seeming equally at a loss for words. He pressed a firm kiss to my forehead and I was shocked to feel tears dripping onto my face.

My heart lurched. Leo was crying.

He wrapped his arm more tightly around me and then pressed his face into my shoulder, his body shaking as he held me. “I was so scared, Bianca,” he sobbed. “I was so scared that I had lost you.”

My whole body still hurt but I could ignore it for now. Pain radiated through me but I wasn’t going to ruin this moment for anything. “I’m okay,” I murmured soothingly, reaching a hand up with difficulty to stroke his back. “Shh, it’s alright, Leo. You didn’t lose me. You’ll never lose me.”

My heart was starting to splinter as I listened to him cry. I had never seen him this distraught before. I felt a twinge of guilt for causing it even though the whole situation was out of my control. Tears stung my eyes as I felt the overwhelming gratitude toward him as well.

“Thank you for being strong for me,” I told him. “I was so scared that I had lost you too. I didn’t want to give birth without you and even though I knew in my heart you would come back to me, I still had doubts. I didn’t want to raise our children on my own.”

Leo shushed me, his face pained as I started to cry once again. He tenderly wiped my tears away with the pad of his thumb. “I wouldn’t leave you to raise our babies by yourself,” he said fiercely. “You are everything to me, love. We are in this together. Forever.”

My throat tightened and I felt myself finally start to relax slightly. “Forever,” I repeated, swallowing thickly.

“Forever,” he affirmed and he lowered his face so that he could kiss away my tears and then tenderly kiss my lips. He leaned away and smiled adoringly but then his eyes flashed with concern. “How are you feeling? I should go tell the nurse that you’re awake. You should probably take some pain medication or something.”

He moved to get up but I shot an arm out and caught his wrist, panic filling me at the thought of him leaving my side. “No,” I said and then winced as my throat pulsed in pain. I swallowed with difficulty. “Please. Not just yet. I want to be alone with you and our children.”

Leo looked down at me with a frown. “You need to see the doctor, love,” he told me carefully.

I knew he was right but I wasn’t ready to just yet. I felt like this was the first quiet moment together we’d had and we were just reunited in a way. “Please,” I said, ducking my head. “Please, just for a little while. You can get the doctor soon.”

I heard him inhale sharply before blowing it out slowly. “I can’t say no to you,” he muttered but his voice was laced with affection.

I smiled at him softly, trying not to let on how weak and in pain I felt. I straightened as much as I could in the bed. “Can I hold him?” I asked, gesturing to the slumbering child in Leo’s arms.

Leo laughed, trying not to do so too loudly since our son was asleep.

I stared at him, bewildered. “What’s so funny?” I asked.

Leo grinned at me and then shook his head. “It just sounds funny hearing you ask if you can hold the child that you held in your womb for eight months and then gave painful, excruciating birth to. You are the last person who needs to ask for permission.”

I giggled. “Give me my baby now,” I ordered cheekily.

Leo kissed me again and I felt the smile against his lips. He pulled away before carefully placing our son into my awaiting arms.

I almost felt a spark run through me as soon as our baby was settled against me. I felt immediate warmth and love. Tears burned the backs of my eyes and I didn’t even fight them this time, allowing them to trail down my cheeks.

“He’s perfect,” I breathed.

Leo dropped a kiss to the top of my head and then to our son’s. “Of course he is,” he said affectionately. “It’s because he looks so much like you.”

I looked up at Leo in shock but I did see it too. Our son had my face shape and my lighter hair color. There was something of Leo in the shape of his eyebrows and in the shape of his lips. “He looks like you too,” I defended.

Leo didn’t look convinced but we just fell silent as we looked down at the baby we had made together, the perfect blend of the two of us. I smiled, basking in the moment and trailing my finger along his smooth cheek.

We were almost completely whole.

“Can I hold our daughter too?” I asked, then laughed. “I mean, I know I don’t need permission but I would like to hold both of them at the same time. I already feel so amazing holding just him. I can’t even begin to imagine the elation of holding both my babies at the same time.”

I looked up at Leo and smiled, expecting him to chuckle and agree but he looked troubled. It was then that I remembered when I did hold my daughter right after she was born, how still and weak she had been. “Where is she?” I demanded.

“Shh, calm down, love,” he murmured to me, stroking my hair back away from my face. “We can’t see her just yet. She’s in the NICU-”

My heart stopped. “She’s in the NICU?” I repeated in panic. I shifted, trying to kick my legs over the side of the bed so I could get up, ignoring the pain that shot through my body when I did so. “Take me to her now!”

“Bianca,” Leo scolded, grabbing my arm and gently but firmly pushing me back down against the mattress. “You can’t get up right now. You are still recovering. I will do everything I can to get a visit with our daughter but she needs more time to grow right now.”

I glared at him, wanting to yell at him for coming in between me and my daughter. I was angry and started to cry again when I realized that I was furious because this was all my fault.

“Our baby girl is in the NICU because of me,” I wailed.

Leo clenched his jaw. “No, Bianca,” he said firmly. “That’s not true.”

“It is,” I cried, scrubbing at my eyes with the palms of my hands. “If I had just kept with the due date, she wouldn’t be alone in the NICU now.”

“Stop that,” Leo ordered, trying to keep his tone level. “Don’t say that. This wasn’t in your control, love.”

“He’s right.”

Leo and I both jumped at the voice and whirled to find a middle-aged doctor walking into the room.

“Forgive me,” he said. “I didn’t meant to eavesdrop. My name is Dr. Hawthorne. How are you feeling, dear?”

I felt my cheekbones flame. “Fine,” I managed.

“Mind if I look you over?” he asked kindly. After I nodded, he gently pulled the blanket back as Leo took our son from me.

“Your early delivery was likely due to stress,” the doctor said soothingly. “It wasn’t something you could have controlled. You musn’t blame yourself.” As he spoke, he listened to my heart and breathing and checked between my legs.

“I’m predicting that you’ll need about a week of recovery with us,” the doctor said, patting my hand. “Your body has been through a lot.”

I was tempted to argue but seeing as I could barely lift my head, I had no choice but to agree.

Leo kissed my forehead and squeezed my hand to soothe me but all I could think was that I hoped I could hold my daughter soon.