Submitting to My Best Friend's Dad-Chapter 1040 : Fading in Shadows

*Bianca*

I did it.

I couldn’t believe I actually did it.

Things had seemed so hopeless.

My brain buzzed and the whole world seemed to be falling away as I just allowed myself to relax for the first time in hours. Everything still hurt but there was a strange sense of peace that was washing over me now that my two little ones were finally here.

Two.

I couldn’t believe that either.

I had been preparing for just one baby for the past several months and now, there would be two new little ones for me the nurse and to hold.

My heart felt that much bigger, easily ready to accommodate both my son and my daughter.

My whole body felt heavy and like it was pulsing from all of the exertions it went through. I tried to move but I felt as if a ton of bricks was lying on top of me, pinning me in place. Even breathing caused pain to radiate through me.

And still, I was in complete bliss.

I was a mother now. I let myself sit with that fact, feeling the complete awe that that simple fact filled me with. Leo and I were parents. My mind felt like it was floating as I started to picture what the next few weeks might look like. 𝐟𝚛𝕖𝚎𝕨𝗲𝐛𝚗𝐨𝐯𝐞𝕝.𝐜𝗼𝗺

I knew Leo had fears about being a dad but I had no doubt in my mind that he was going to be an amazing father. He was already so gentle and so caring toward me. I knew in my heart that he would be the same way with our children.

I suddenly felt as light as a feather as I pictured Leo cradling our children close to his chest, morning sunlight streaming in through the nursery window and illuminating my beautiful family. I imagined Leo looking up at me from above their precious, sleeping forms and then smiling at me softly.

It was a beautiful, picturesque moment that allowed my battered postpartum body to finally relax slightly.

As I basked in the moments just minutes after giving birth to my daughter, I couldn’t help but be amused by how foolish and blind I had been the past several months. My main focus was to do well in my classes and to prove that I could be an independent woman. Even while I was pregnant, the idea of being a parent felt so abstract and far away.

Everything that I had been doing up until this point felt insignificant compared to the magnitude of being a mother.

I hadn’t even realized that I wanted to be a mother. Now, I haven’t even held my children yet and I ached to do so. I longed so badly to feel their soft, velvety skin against mine so that I could ensure that they were real.

I needed them.

It had just been a few minutes now since my daughter came into the world and despite how exhausted and in pain I was, I still wanted nothing more than to hold my children.

Why haven’t they been given to me yet? I should be cradling them close to me by now.

I couldn’t quite open my eyes but that wasn’t going to stop me. I couldn’t lift my limbs but I didn’t care. I was going to hold my babies no matter what.

I forced myself to fight the buzzing in my head and listen to the sounds of the room. There were hushed whispers going on around me. I could feel my head start to buzz again, lightheadedness slamming into me.

No. I couldn’t fall asleep yet! Not before I had seen my children.

“My babies,” I managed to whisper. “Please. Give them to me.”

The whispering stopped so I knew that they had heard me.

I struggled to open my eyes and was finally able to do so.

The first thing I noticed was the bright fluorescent lights of the safe room. It took me a long moment to focus on something else but everything was blurry, tiny black spots sprinkling the edges of my vision.

The next thing I noticed was a beautiful thing. It was the sound of my child crying. The tiny wail sent heartbreak and joy through me at the exact same time. My baby sounded upset and like they wanted me.

“Which one of them is crying?” I asked.

“Our son,” Leo answered but there was a tightness to his voice.

I marveled at that fact. I was hearing our baby boy’s voice for the first time. It was a magical sound, strong and healthy. I had no doubt he would be a force to be reckoned with just like his father.

My son’s crying was wondrous but it also brought something just as important to my attention and that was the lack of my daughter’s.

“Where is she?” I asked.

No one answered me and I quickly grew impatient. “My daughter,” I said, my voice rising. “Where is she? Give her to me!”

I felt a pair of warm hands gripping my shoulders reassuringly and that’s when my vision cleared up a bit. It was enough for me to focus on Leo’s face which was just inches from my own.

“Please calm down for me, love,” Leo murmured to me, his voice practically begging. “Your body was just under a lot of stress and you need to rest now.”

“My daughter,” I said, ignoring his worry for me. “Please. I want to see her.”

He inhaled sharply, panic in his eyes but he schooled his expression and smiled gently at me. “Please, not right now, love,” he said. “You need to rest now.”

Something in his eyes sent a spike of fear through me. Something was wrong. I could see it in his eyes. “No!” I shrieked. “Give her to me now! I want to see her!”

I shifted enough to look over his shoulder where Maria stood by the end of the bed. In her arms was the tiniest baby I had ever seen and I strained to focus more but my eyes were betraying me, shrouded in an annoying cloudiness.

“Bianca,” Leo said, his hands going up to cup my face. His voice was a gentle reproach.

I might have been exhausted and out of it but even I could tell that they were keeping something from me. Something must be wrong with my baby. I wasn’t even a mother for a full hour yet and I already felt the fierce, protective mama bear instincts welling up inside of me.

No one was going to separate me from them, not even my mother or their father.

A desperate whine escaped my lips as I started to struggle, reaching blindly toward my daughter. With renewed strength, I started to struggle, pulling away from Leo so I could get a better look at my child.

“Bianca,” Leo murmured my name again, this time more desperately.

There was a pleading in his eyes but I ignored it, seeing him as something else that was coming between me and my baby.

“Please, Leo,” I cried. “Please let me see her. I need to hold her.”

When he didn’t answer right away, I struggled harder, shoving at his chest feebly. I might as well have been pushing against a stone wall. He was immovable, especially since my muscles were refusing to work at the moment.

Leo’s expression was strained with stress but he finally dropped his hands and looked over his shoulder at Maria. “Give her to Bianca,” he ordered curtly. “She’s only going to tire herself out even more if you don’t.”

Maria was thankfully quick to obey, stepping forward and carefully settling my tiny daughter against my chest.

It felt like I was finally seeing for the first time as I held my daughter for the first time. Her tiny face was absolutely perfect. She had a little button nose and tiny lashes that were brushing her cheekbones.

Her eyes were closed though and my breathing hitched when I realized that she wasn’t moving.

“Sweetheart,” I murmured. “My little angel, please wake up and look at Mommy.”

I stroked her tiny back, my palm easily covering the small area. She was the smallest thing and that had to be because I was three weeks early giving birth to her and her brother. I ran my hand over her back over and over, trying to coax her into waking up. I ran my finger over her cheeks, momentarily mesmerized by just how soft she was.

I needed to see her eyes.

“Please, baby,” I murmured to her, kissing the top of her tiny head. “Please open your eyes for Mommy. I already love you so much.”

I could barely see through the amount of tears and sweat in my eyes but I could feel that she wasn’t breathing. More tears threatened to burst through as panic seized my throat.

No. I couldn’t lose her. I just got her. I just became her mommy.

“C’mon, little one,” I begged, rubbing her back a little more firmly now. “Please breathe. You need to stay with us. I just got you. Please!”

I looked up at my loved ones, at my mother, Taylor, and finally, at Leo and their expressions were all somber, as if they had already given up hope for our baby girl.

Tears burned my eyes and trailed down my cheeks. Just as I was going to give in fully to my despair and let go as well, a tiny movement stirred against my chest.

My baby girl shifted slightly before she coughed very weakly, her tiny voice shining through as she did so. It was another gorgeous sound and I laughed in relief when she wheezed as she breathed the air of this world for the first time.

“That’s my baby girl,” I murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Leo was hugging us both tightly in a flash, pressing a kiss first to my forehead and then to our daughter’s. My whole body sagged with relief and I felt my eyelids start to flutter shut.

Leo’s voice was panicked. “Bianca, stay awake!” he ordered.

“I hear the ambulance,” Maria said.

Moments later, I heard a door slam open and paramedics piled in. Leo was yelling at them to hurry, filling them in on the situation but I could only barely make out a couple of words. I was only vaguely aware of being lifted and wheeled out of the room, darkness started to creep into my vision.

Amidst all of the chaos, I was able to find Leo’s face. His eyes were wide with worry as he gazed at me.

“Hold on, Bianca,” he begged. “You are going to be fine, you hear me?”

I tried to open my mouth to answer but his face was starting to blur and disappear. “I love you,” I told him quietly.

And then the world faded away in shadows.