Stray Cat Strut-Chapter Twenty-Eight - Escape Velocity

Chapter Twenty-Eight - Escape Velocity

"It's strange to live in a time where human ingenuity and sciences have allowed us to create such perfect, devastating weapons, and yet we're still using guns invented and perfected seventy years ago because our adversary's greatest threat is still delivered from biting range."

--Brigadier General Thibodeau, 2055

***

"That's distressing to hear," Grasshopper said. "I'd like to think that I still have a lot to live for."

"Yeah, I think we all want to not die," I agreed as I climbed over the back of the couch, then sat on the backrest with an elbow on my knee. "So, no plan at all. That seems really unlikely."

Jolly Monarch shrugged his drone's arms. "That's the situation at the moment. The Family in general don't have any authority to push things and they're being rather passive about Phobos. They are, admittedly, helping with crowd control and information. They're helping to keep panic at a minimum."

"Right, because we don't want people panicking minutes before they're crushed to death," Sam-O-Ray said. He crossed his arms and flexed. My dude had some big muscles. Did he work out for those or was he cheating a little? He didn't strike me as the cheating sort.

I shook my head and refocused. Why was the imminent death of everyone on the entire planet so easy to be distracted from?

"We can't really be planning to just... I don't know, sell shades to people so they can stare right up at the fireball before it splatters them," I said. "Isn't this just a huge rock? Nuke it or something."

Jolly Monarch laughed. "You're not even wrong. There are at least a dozen samurai who could bat this thing aside without any issues. Unfortunately, all of them are off-world. The more we delay in asking for their help, the less help they can provide."

"So ask, dumbass," I said.

"It's not so simple," he replied. "There are political considerations."

"This doesn't seem the time for that," Grasshopper said.

LaserJack hummed. "I'll admit, I'm usually the first to jump when it comes to samurai issues that turn political. It's my area of expertise, but I generally agree with Stray Cat and Grasshopper. If we have to suffer the consequences of redeploying someone important, then we'll do so after we've saved the planet and all of its inhabitants."

Jolly Monarch nodded. "Good. Thank you. I think the issue at the moment is that there are too many non-samurai in positions of relative power. They're stalling things in the name of one thing while aiming to gain favour in other respects."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Jolly Monarch reached up and scratched... was it his chin? I supposed the chin belonged to him, but it was 100% a female chin. Her chin? No, I supposed it was still 'his.' Fucking English. "The primary issue is with certain power players. Not specifically people, but larger organisations. Governments and mega-corps. The Family wants concessions from them, and right now there has never been a better time to ask."

"Are they--" Rac began, only to stop as attention turned her way.

"Go on," I said.

She swallowed, but Sam-O-Ray winked her way and Grasshopper gave her six thumbs up. "When I lived under New Montreal, there were, uh, people who were stronger? Not literally, some of the time, but they had friends and there are lots of small gangs down there. Sometimes we'd all learn about a corp that wants to come down and clean things up. None of those groups can resist a full corp, not for long, so we'd all hunker down. But there'd always be this sort of game where the big players would threaten to aim the corp at one another."

That was a lot of words from my little Rac who was usually pretty reserved. "I think I see what you mean, is it the same here?" I asked.

Jolly Monarch made a so-so gesture. "Right now, the Family and other samurai-operated entities have a monopoly on a fleeting resource; the saving of all of humanity. When they sit at the negotiation table today, they have a card they can play that guarantees a victory, no matter how impossible it would be for them not to act."

"That's so fucking stupid," I said. "The Family will threaten to allow everyone to die if it means getting better deals?"

"No, everyone knows that they won't go that far. But the Family and other groups still ostensibly hold that over the heads of various governments and corporations. They, and by extension we, are doing something far beyond the means and capabilities of any Earthly government, and we're doing it on their behalf. We have to do it in any case because not doing it would be horrendous, but that doesn't mean we will necessarily do it for free."

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"Sometimes," Grasshopper said. "When an agricorp harvests the food they're growing, they find that they've grown more than what they could reasonably sell. They have a surplus. It's only smart to aim for a surplus, in case something goes wrong along the line. However, if they do have a surplus, they destroy it."

"Why?" Rac asked.

"Because it's a large supply of unsellable materials. It's not profitable to give it away, or flood the market with more which would lower their overall prices. The sensible economic thing to do is to destroy some of the supply to keep the demand higher."

"That's messed up," Rac said.

I could agree with that. I'd gone hungry too many times not to.

"You have to remember, an economy is a system to earn money, not to make lives better," Grasshopper said. "Politics are systems to earn power, not make lives better. It's why I generally support the Family, because I really don't want anything to do with either."

Grasshopper stood up and started for the door. "Where are you headed?" LaserJack asked.

"To destroy a very large rock," she said. "Because it's the right thing to do."

"Sounds good to me," I said as I rolled off the top of the couch and onto my feet. "Nice seeing you, LaserJack, Jolly."

"I'm coming with," Sam-O-Ray said before I could say goodbye. "See you around, brothers!"

I had to jog to catch up to Grasshopper, with Rac right on my heels. Sam-O-Ray was climbing into his armour behind us, but he was quick to catch up after. "So, how're you planning on blowing up that rock?" I asked.

Grasshopper glanced back at me and smiled. "With a little help from some friends, I hope."

"Ah, well, I've got bombs," I said. "So that's a start."

"I suspect I can purchase a gun large enough to send a projectile into orbit," Grasshopper said. "The tricky part will be detaching from any orbit and aiming the projectile towards Phobos. It's a huge target, but space is huge-er!"

"Yeah, gravity and shit," I agreed.

Grasshopper gave me a look that made me want to slink away and read a book or something.

"I've got some decent range-finding systems," Sam-O-Ray said. "It's not much, but it might help. Stray Cat, sister, you're apparently someone who knows everyone. Have any samurai friends that are into space travel?"

"Not space travel specifically, and I don't know if I know everyone. I do know some newbies with a few weird catalogues. Not sure if they'll all have something to contribute."

"No, it would be good anyway," Grasshopper said. "Even if they're just buying some of the more basic, less expensive parts, that'll still defray part of the overall cost. And it's important with group projects to include as many people as possible and see if they can shine!"

"It'll also be important to have more samurai," Rac said.

"Hmm, why's that?" I asked her.

"Because someone might fuck with your giant space gun if it's just you and Miss Grasshopper and, uh, mister Sam-O-Ray," Rac continued. "But if it's a dozen samurai? No one's gonna want to fuck with that."

That was a fair point. Messing with one samurai was bad, messing with a couple? That was asking for trouble. At the same time, there were some corps big enough that they probably thought they could get away with it. Messing with nearly a dozen? Fuck that, that risk-reward math was way off on that one.

"Okay," I said. "Not how I was planning on spending my afternoon, but I dig it."

"It's almost five. We're well past just the afternoon," Grasshopper said.

I scoffed. Spoken like someone that woke up in the morning.

"Where do we wanna set this up?" I asked.

"We need a clear space," Grasshopper began. "With no room for corporate interference. We'll want an area that's away from the city as well. It's likely that any shot strong enough to propel something into the atmosphere will likely be strong enough to make the earth tremble and shatter windows for some ways. We can compensate for that, but it really depends on our budget. And, of course, what we're aiming for."

"We're aiming for Phobos, aren't we?" I asked.

"Yes, of course, but will we be able to destroy it with one hit? Do we want that? It'll be much easier to crack the moon apart into more manageable pieces than to destroy it completely outright."

"I don't know much about rocket science, but I do know where we can find a lot of open space," I said. I had an idea.

***

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