Stray Cat Strut-Chapter Thirty-Five – Welcome Under God’s Grace

Chapter Thirty-Five - Welcome Under God's Grace

"Today, the new pope--coming in to replace the last Pope, Pope Sanctum.exe the first, who was consumed in the Lagos, Nigeria incursion while visiting the city as part of a relief convoy--was named by the conclave at the Second Sistine Chapel at the Vatican, an event proudly sponsored by Apple.

The new pope, Pope Innocynt XIV is the first AI pope to be elected to the position in the church's history. A controversial decision to many of the faith."

--Catholic World News, 2044

***

Angelo was a lot more comfortable with us by the time we were done. Unfortunately, he didn't have too much more to add. At least, nothing immediately pertinent. Nya asked a few questions, about the names of gang leaders and how things were organized, but while I paid attention, it wasn't anything too helpful.

Or maybe it was, but I had no memory for names just dropped so casually, and the economics of running a gang wasn't something I cared so much about. Lucy might care, a little, but... yeah.

Angelo was decent about it, though. He returned to the little office he shared with two others and copied all of the files they had. He warned Nya and I that anything copied off of a school computer would have CIAL's DRM and ICE implanted on it. The kind of shit that might try to fry someone's unauthorized augs.

That could mean a headache if you didn't have a decent firewall. It could mean your augs running so hot they slagged themselves (which sucked, because modern augs were implanted over the eyes and usually under the skin). Or it could straight up kill someone if they had too much unsecured cyberware all connected together.

Myalis barely even glanced at the DRM before it shrivelled away and died.

What Angelo had given us was several years worth of notes, half-written articles, spreadsheets, and a lot of rampant speculation. It looked like he and his pals had tried to find some novel correlations, but the data they were using was kind of shit to begin with.

There was one article whose name forced me to open it. The Plausible Link Between the Cost of Milk and the Spread of Drugs in an Urban Environment. Yeah, there might have been some meat in that one.

Still, it looked like they were pulling a lot of their information from the New Montreal Sûreté, the government-run police. Those idiots couldn't be trusted to keep an automated speed trap running properly, so I wouldn't trust anything they reported.

"Well, that's a lot to work off of," I said.

"I hope it helps," Angelo said. "Most of us do this for the extra credit, but I think we all hoped that it would come in handy for something beyond advertising or adjusting insurance rates, you know?"

"I get that," I said with a nod. "Can you do me a solid? I mean, beyond all of this?"

"Um, sure?" he said.

"Let your pals in the gangs know that I'm looking into whatever they're up to, yeah?"

"You want me to deliver a threat for you?" Angelo asked.

I made a so-so gesture. "More of a friendly reminder. I'm trying to fix New Montreal up in my spare time. It's like... a hobby? I don't think anyone enjoys a hobby when someone else comes along and pisses all over it, you know? So yeah, let them know that I don't mind if they start a union, hand out bread, and keep people safe. That's all cool. But pushing drugs, killing indiscriminately, or doing seriously fucked up shit? That might fly some of the time, but now's not one of those times."

I was absolutely brimming with shit.

I had never given a single credit's worth of a damn about what the gangs of New Montreal did unless it was impacting me and mine directly. The most I had ever done about one was head out with Gomorrah to mess up those Sewer Dragons, and that had consequences that I was still handling now.

But, for some stupid reason, some people thought that I had a whole lot more power and influence than I actually did. The moment anyone started to question my actual authority, I was straight up fucked.

Until that happened... well, maybe Angelo would be able to reach a few of the right ears, and then news would spread and a few gangsters would chill the hell out. A few words spoken here and there was a cheap price to pay for that kind of potential return.

"Alright," I said. "Anyway, see you around, maybe. Nya, you ready to go?"

"Nya!" she replied, which was probably a yes?

In any case, I started to walk out, and Nya kept up. "So... you've been a samurai for a while?"

"Mhm!" Nya said. "I have. But don't call me an old lady. I can still kick your butt!"

"Right," I said. "You mentioned how you dealt with the... what did you call them? The Yakuza? That's just Japanese for gang, right?"

"More or less. Mostly less, but it's close enough, nya!"

"Cool. How?"

Nya snorted, then next thing I knew, she had an arm wrapped around my shoulders. "Let Nya tell you all about it. First, the bad guys did some bad things, but in a stupid way. Very loud. Very obvious. Then, Nya's... coworkers, the other Ronin, decided that they needed to be put in their place, because they were hurting people and it was stupid. So, they told Nya where to go, and then I kicked a lot of butts."

"You have no idea, do you?" I asked.

Nya smiled at me, and I was pretty sure she had some sort of cosmetic cyberware because there was no way someone's face was meant to look that smug naturally.

I sighed. "Okay, so who can I ask for help?"

"I thought you knew all the local Ronin?" Nya asked. "You're a very social sort of cat."

"Yeah, but I can't think of any who might actually be able to help. Deus Ex is a little shit. Emoscythe might be good for critiquing the gang's fashion sense or mowing through them like a blender... there's Jolly Monarch, I guess, but I don't know him well. He's in tight with the Family too, and if I ask them for help, they'll try to help themselves first. The other samurai around here are mostly like me, newer and less experienced."

Nya's grin turned a little less smug and a bit more... honest, I guess? "You're a good kitty, knowing when to rely on the bigger cats."

"Do you have to?" I asked.

"Nya! I do! Being all serious all the time's no good. You'll get ulcers!"

"Then I'll buy a new stomach," I grumbled, but maybe she had a bit of a point. A small one. "Fine. So, unlike you, I don't have someone to point me in the direction of who's ass to kick."

"Tough, nya," she said with a serious nod. "What about non-ronin friends?"

Did I know anyone that could help?

I thought about it the entire time as we returned to the Bastion. The people I knew before becoming a samurai weren't the reliable sorts. Most I haven't really thought of since. Mostly I'd relied on Lucy, and my time was taken up by the kittens.

Since then... Gomorrah would help me, if I asked her honestly, but she wasn't...

Oh, right.

"I think I know someone," I said. "It's a bit of a longshot, but she might know the right person to ask."

"Nya! Longshots are the best shots, no?"

"I think that they're actually, generally, the worst shots," I said. "But you do you."

"So, where are we going now, nya?"

"Home," I said. Nya gave me a confused look, but she didn't argue as we got into the Bastion and took off. I pointed us home, and soon enough was coming in to park. I was getting pretty used to the trip back and forth by that point.

"So, who's this mystery friend?" Nya asked as she followed me out of the ship.

"How do you like nuns?" I asked.

Nya blinked. "Oh! Wait, Nya knows this one! You have a special ronin friend who is a nun!"

"I think 'special friend' is a mistranslation," I said. "But yeah, Gom's cool. Haven't seen her in a couple of days, actually. But she's not the one we're going to see. Instead, we're looking for Gomorrah's own special friend. Heh."

Instead of heading up towards home, we went down. A short ride later we were at Gomorrah's front door. There was a cross on it, and a cheesy mat below that read 'All are welcome under God's grace'.

I was pretty sure there were some turrets hidden in the walls. Fire-y ones.

I rang the doorbell anyway. Maybe I should have texted? But fuck, we were literally next door neighbours.

There wasn't a sound, not until the door swung open and I found a familiar blonde staring at me. "Catherine," Delilah said. "And... Ronin Nya. A pleasure to meet you. I've heard of some of your exploits."

"Nya! Yup! I'm famous," Nya said.

"Exploits? Like what, licking her own ass?" I asked.

Delilah sighed. "It's nice to see you haven't changed," she said. "What's wrong, Catherine?"

"Can't I just be here to say hi?" I asked. She stared. "Oh, fine. Is your girlfriend in? I need to talk to her."

***