SSS-Class Revival Hunter-Chapter 347: Full Moon Voyage (4)

[The Goldcoin-Biting Cat has a proposal for you.]

The Constellation told me what had been happening. It mostly had to do with the examiner—the Countess—watching from the lobby on the seventieth floor.

[The Goldcoin-Biting Cat desperately asks that you and your examiner agree to a fair deal.]

As it turned out, the Countess was bargaining with the Constellation! Just like the Paladin’s Skills were from the God of Serpents, the Countess had gotten hers from the God of Trade. This same God of Trade was said to be the Constellation—also known as the Goldcoin-Biting Cat—that ruled the seventy-second floor, the Golden Heaven Realm.

Well.

I didn’t have much of a problem accepting the fact. There were too many similarities between the Countess’s Skill and how the Golden Heaven Realm worked to brush it off as a mere coincidence.

The Countess can use her Skill and bargain to summon almost anything. The price is up to the trader. When she bought the item named “World Peace,” she got a message that the world has always been peaceful.

In short, the Skill pissed off the Countess. When she was upset, the God of Trade became satisfied. That sounded very familiar. The core of the Skill was pissing off others.

“I feel like the Countess is very angry with you,” I said.

[The Goldcoin-Biting Cat begs you to do something about it!]

For a very long time, the Countess had been using the God of Trade’s Skill. Each time she did, she was teased and provoked, just like when I first came to Levanta Port City and was humiliated in front of everyone. No, she had probably endured something similar to that for years.

I was willing to bet that the Countess didn’t think something along the lines of “Oh, I’m so grateful to whoever gave me this Skill.” Not even close. She probably thought “I did not know who you were all this time, but now I do. It’s perfect!”

She basically found out who her nemesis was!

[The Goldcoin-Biting Cat cries out, saying that the examiner is trying to squeeze them dry!]

The Countess didn’t plan to miss this chance. First, she looked for a way to contact the God of Trade. Thanks to her Skill, she could buy any item she wanted. After searching, she found an item called Phonecall with the God of Trade in the list.

Bingo. With so many items on the list, she would have never found it without the search tool. The Item Search function was a paid feature that asked for a monthly fee, but it was impossible to use the Skill without it. I could sense how much the Countess had been ripped off for the past few years.

The Constellation that ruled this Golden Heaven Realm then reached out to me. This was the conversation they’d had with the Countess.

—Hello.

—Hi, this is the Grinny Grin Cat Trading Company. We pour gold coins down your throat. How may we help you?

—I’m a merchant named the Countess from the Lion Realm. I gained a Skill in my youth and rose to success. It seems like you created this Skill.

The moment she had been called as an examiner, the Countess had a rough idea of what was going on. When I got ripped off, she saw the truth of her Skill, which was based on the laws of the Golden Heaven Realm. That was how she realized that her Skill came from the ruler of this world.

—Is that so? What is the name of the skill?

—Cat’s General Store.

The Countess’s assumption had been right.

—Right. That’s the Skill we made and sold. Oh, dear customer... Wow, the points you’ve gained! You’re a very loyal customer, aren’t you? You’ve always been using the Grinny Grin Cat Trading Company. Did you call to thank us for our service?

—Oh, of course. I am very grateful to you.

—No problem! By the way, the phone call service charges you by the minute. The first minute is free, but each extra minute after that will be charged. Please keep that in mind.

The Countess paid no heed to that.

—The Death King has gone to the world you rule.

—What?

—I’m the examiner who decides whether the Death King passes or fails. To put it short, I decide if the Death King will stay in your world forever.

—I’m sorry, but can you please explain—

—Oh, don’t worry. You’ll know soon enough.

The Countess hung up.

At the time, I had been walking through the damp, gloomy alleys, suffering from hunger. It didn’t take long for me to enter the antique shop. Meanwhile, the Countess was lying on the sofa, eating chips. Suddenly, a phone appeared and rang.

—Countess speaking.

—Yes, ma’am. We have confirmed the information you have given us. Thank you for telling us in advance.

—It’s nothing. I paid for it.

It hadn’t been that long since they last talked, but the God of Trade sounded a lot more polite.

—Ah, ma’am. We would like to refund you for the call you bought and also cover any extra fees. We apologize for not doing this sooner. Speaking of which, we believe you called to discuss Mr. Death King’s stage. Is that correct?

The Countess smiled.

—I like that you catch up quickly.

—What do you want in return?

—I like that the process got sped up, but it’s not nearly as fast as it should be.

—Excuse me?

—Let’s chat later.

The Countess hung up again. By then, I was cleaning the streets after bringing down the antique shop. Elegantly and magnificently, I moved around like the Pied Piper leading a small group of mice.

The only difference from the actual Pied Piper was that these mice were fighting life-or-death duels among themselves instead of jumping into the river. This fire was spreading not only to adjacent streets but to the entire city.

Riiiiing!

—Countess speaking.

On the other line, the agent seemed to be in distress.

—Ma’am, if we ever hurt you or if we unwittingly committed any disrespect, we sincerely apologize. We are trying to find the person in charge as fast as we can. The staff who has been serving you will be transferred at once. If you have other requests, we’ll address them right away.

—Not bad. This was very quick, but still not fast enough for me.

The salty potato chip crumbled in the Countess’s mouth as she savored her sweet revenge.

Click.

The citywide trend of life-or-death duels reached its peak at the mayor's mansion. The guards at the mansion discovered that they had been stealing each other’s pay, so they were fighting among themselves.

Panicked, the mayor came out, asking what was going on. His wife hit him in the head and told him everything. For the sake of the mayor and his wife, I wasn’t going to reveal their secrets.

Riiiiiiiiing!

—Countess speaking.

—We’re sorry. We’re very sorry. Please forgive us!

—Now we’re talking.

—All of us at the trading company are headbutting the floor right now. I’m still headbutting the floor as we speak, ma’am! If you don’t believe me, I’ll video call you!

Without anyone telling them to switch things up, the normal call became a video call. In the hologram unfolding before the Countess, there were dozens—no, hundreds—of cats headbutting the floor. Even the Countess was silent for half a second at the oddly cute scene.

The God of Trade was a cat. Not just one cat, but hundreds! The place where the cats worked was called the Grinny Grin Cat Company, and they all were the Goldcoin-Biting Cat.

However, the Countess wasn’t so forgiving. She couldn’t forget what those creatures had done just because of how cute they looked. After all, being ripped off by her Skill for so long had been as bitter as 99.9 percent cacao chocolate.

—This is quite a sight. Keep going.

—Meow! Meow! Meow!

—By now, you probably figured out that my friend is a lunatic. While there are many ways to describe a lunatic, just using one word is usually not enough to paint the full picture of someone’s personality. He’s worthy of at least three words; he should be called the wackiest lunatic around. Letting this man wander the Golden Heaven Realm depends on my mood.

Everyone in the port city was prostrating in the square. The cats were bowing, too. It was a beautiful sight—everyone, gods and humans alike, was bowing.

—I guarantee that you don’t want to know what would happen if that man were set free in your world for half a month, but I want to see it happen anyway.

The cats whined.

—Meow! Meow! Ma’am, please have mercy!

—First, record this conversation and show it to the Death King. People often hide their own shame yet spread the shame of others across the world. I wish to share this joy with my friend.

That was why I was now watching a 2160p high-definition hologram of a conversation that had taken place without me.

—My conditions are simple. Kneel and bow. If you’re already bowing, bow lower. Swear lifelong loyalty to me and endure lifelong servitude.

—Meow... That’s... That’s... Still...

—I do understand your position, but even if your teeth break, your gums will remain. That’s what resolve is about, so I’m willing to wait until your gums wear down.

On the other side of the hologram, the Countess licked her fingers. Judging from her expression, she seemed to be enjoying the sweet and salty taste of potato chip crumbs.

—Death King, I’m sorry, but I’ll have to go back on my word about acknowledging your win as soon as you arrive in that place. This choice was made not only for my own gain, but also for the sake of our Tower, so I hope you understand. I believe there is no need to explain the profits our Tower will make by subordinating the Grinny Grin Cat Trading Company.

The Countess smiled even more so than an actual cat and looked right at me.

Uhhhh.

—You may wish to wreak some kind of havoc and be refreshingly done with it, but I want something different. This time, I want to teach these guys a lesson. You’re my friend, so I trust that you’ll care about my personal grudge. To be honest, I don’t really care if you don’t care. It’s up to me whether you stay there forever. Cooperate if you want to avoid that.

This cunning cat...

—If you’re going to cooperate, do so with joy. Isn’t that your specialty? I saw the madness you spread in the port city. I’m sure this madness of yours can cross rivers and seas and reach the whole world. I hope you will keep doing what you’re doing until I reach a satisfactory deal.

In the other hologram, the different colored cats were headbutting the floor, trembling.

—I told you that you’re a good friend. Let’s try to keep our friendship strong so that it will go down in history for hundreds of years.

The Countess smiled while the cats howled.

—Meooooooooow!