Shinji Matou at Your Service-Chapter 1074: The Grand Prix Concludes

"Why is this getting more and more dangerous? Change it, change it again! If tennis doesn't work, switch to badminton!"

Fiore, the referee, was nearly losing her mind, and Ciel, who was secretly observing, wore a similar expression.

"I think they can make badminton just as spectacular," said Irisviel, her naturally dark humor kicking in, without Shinji needing to chime in with his usual snark. This type of bizarre sporting event was right up her alley.

And in fact, she was correct. While badminton didn't have the same terrifying effects as tennis—no Stands, black holes, alternate worlds, or dimension-breaking attacks—it still became a terrifying spectacle when things got going.

"..."

"..."

"..."

In the end, the court was left intact this time, but the exaggerated scenes still made Fiore feel things had gone too far.

"Change it again! Take all the sports off the roulette wheel—just remove them all!"

"How about this one? Karuta, a traditional Japanese card game. It looks like fun," Olga Marie suggested, pointing to one of the options.

"Let's go with that! Surely, nothing can go wrong with a card game," Fiore's eyes lit up.

A card game? Nothing will go wrong?

Haha! Are you sure?

"Raaaaahhhh!!!"

"Oooohhhh!!!"

The blue dog (Cu Chulainn) and the golden wolf (Svin) roared simultaneously, reaching out their hands (or paws) toward one of the cards. In the end, Cu Chulainn was faster and successfully snatched the correct karuta card.

"Yes! That's the spirit!"

At that moment, Kirie, acting as a guest referee, called out the next verse: "One matchstick starts a fire... the dog that barks..."

"Don't call me a dog!!!"

The blue and yellow canine-like creatures shouted angrily in unison.

Kirie shrank back a bit and weakly replied, "That's just how the haiku goes, and I've already read it."

And so, their eyes became sharp once again.

"Raaaaahhhh!!!"

"Oooohhhh!!!"

Though to others, it sounded more like:

"Woof woof woof woof woof woof!"

"Awoooo awoooo awoooo!"

Seeing this, Fiore finally realized that the problem wasn't with the competition or the rules—it was with the participants. As long as these superhuman beings were involved, no matter the event, it would result in over-the-top chaos.

"Do whatever you want," the always-conscientious and diligent Fiore finally gave up, letting these increasingly hyped-up Masters and Servants do as they pleased.

And so, everyone dove headlong into total revelry.

"The competition continues! The next event is—Blackbeard!"

The Blackbeard game is a game adapted from a medieval pirate entertainment activity. A person is placed inside a barrel with a dozen or so openings, and others take turns poking swords into the holes. The person inside tries to avoid being hit. Whoever stabs the person wins. If no one hits them after one round, the person in the barrel, Blackbeard, wins.

The Blackbeard was chosen by drawing lots. As everyone knows, in a fair draw, it all comes down to luck.

So—

"Why am I the Blackbeard?!"

Cu Chulainn protested as he was shoved into the barrel by a group of Servants.

Isn't it obvious? Because you're the only one with an E-rank in Luck among the participants.

Though the real reason was only known to Shinji, the others gave this explanation:

"No choice, you have to follow the draw," said Illya, as Artoria, whose Luck stat was A, raised a sword and stabbed into one of the openings.

"Wait, stop! Why is this sword sharp? And it's not even a normal sword!" Cu Chulainn screamed.

"Because it's sponsored by my family. All the swords in our collection are like this," said Ryougi Shiki, the special guest and referee for this round. She casually handed the next player a sword. Despite being chased twice, she still hadn't left Fuyuki City. Whether it was because she was carefree or had other plans was unclear.

"Hit the mark!"

Faker, who had recovered, stabbed a sword without saying much.

"Next—"

"This is quite an interesting game, mongrel. But it's too much trouble, too much trouble!"

Gilgamesh said, ignoring the rules. He opened his Gate of Babylon, and all the swords were sucked into the vault, only to spread out behind him.

"Hey, hey, you're only supposed to stab one sword at a time!"

Cu Chulainn was panicking.

"I am the ruler! All creation must bow to me!"

Impatient, Gilgamesh hurled all the swords in one go.

"Lancer ga shinda!"

Shinji shouted.

"How inhuman!"

Scáthach, playing along, added, "Though, I'm also a Lancer."

Swords rained down, slicing the not-so-sturdy barrel into dozens of pieces. Yet, amidst the debris, the man in blue tights remained unharmed.

He slowly stood up, his face filled with indignation, and declared, "Don't just kill people off like that!"

This was, of course, expected. Cu Chulainn's innate skill, Protection from Arrows, allowed him to deflect or dodge all projectile attacks he could see. Even if Gilgamesh had thrown a hundred more swords, it wouldn't have harmed him.

Thus, the result of the game was clear.

"The winner is—Lancer, Cu Chulainn!"

"Yes, I won!"

Cu Chulainn immediately forgot the earlier danger and joyfully jumped around, while Shinji and Scathach shook their heads in exasperation. What a simple-minded guy.

...

"Due to time constraints, there is only one competition left. Let's reveal the final event—The King's Game!"

However, despite it being the final event, which should have been the most exciting, many participants were not particularly enthusiastic.

Gilgamesh: "I am already a king."

Iskandar: "I too am a king."

Artoria: "And me."

Scathach: "Same here."

Lorelei, speaking on behalf of Altera: "My Saber is also a king."

Luvia, speaking for Karna: "If I'm not mistaken, my Archer was once a king as well."

Counting Solomon, who was lounging around as a doctor, and the long-fallen Darius III, the number of kings summoned this time was so high they could make two complete sets of king bombs in a card game!

Those who weren't kings simply said, "There's no way we can play this game!"

...

...

...

And so, Olga Marie, Irisviel, and Fiore, acting as the hosts and referees, gave their final announcement in unison:

"The Fifth Holy Grail Grand Prix is now concluded."

"——Hey, isn't that a bit too quick? We haven't even announced the final rankings yet!"