Reborn with Steve Stand-Chapter 870: Best and Worst of Europe

After some explanation, the female police officer finally understood the situation she was in.

“Great… I’ve turned into a vampire,”

she mumbled to herself, looking a bit dazed.

From what Integra said, she’d already been as good as dead—until this man named Alucard saw her desperate struggle and decided to turn her into a vampire. She certainly hadn’t wanted this fate, but compared to dying, being a vampire was… well, marginally better.

With that realization, the policewoman forced herself to pull it together. As long as she was alive, that was good enough—she’d handle everything else later. “So, this place is what you called…”

“It’s the Hellsing organization,”

Integra said, seating herself back on the sofa. She lit a cigarette and spoke between puffs, “Officially known as the Royal Protestant Knights. You’ve already seen it for yourself—monsters are very real, and it’s our job to destroy them. Recently, vampires have been popping up all over Britain. So go deal with them, Officer.”

“Huh?”

The policewoman just gaped, pointing at herself. “…Me?”

“You won’t be doing it alone, of course.”

Integra gave a small smile. “You’re just a rookie, but don’t worry—you’ll have two very capable partners.”

“Uh…”

Glancing up instinctively, the police officer looked over at Fang Mo and Alucard. Sure enough, Integra had called them her “teammates” earlier, but the closer she looked, the more uneasy she felt. The man in the red coat might be okay—strangely, she sensed some odd sort of kinship with him. But the white-haired one gave off serious danger vibes. Beneath his flippant exterior, there was something downright terrifying, like she’d regret it if she ever got too close.

“Wait… you’re…”

Something clicked in her mind. “You’re that psycho who slashed me with a scythe earlier!”

“Hey, hey, watch your mouth!”

Fang Mo immediately took offense. “That was my cure, okay? Do you even know medicine? Do you understand medical procedures? Western medicine 101: we save people by chopping them up.”

“You’re ly—”

“Look, let me ask you this.”

Fang Mo cut her off. “Exactly where did I slash you?”

“I think… my chest, my stomach, my arm…”

The officer furrowed her brow, trying to recall. “Maybe my neck and forehead, too?”

“Right. So here’s the question,”

Fang Mo said, crossing his arms. “If you really were slashed in all those places, how are you still alive?”

“Huh?”

She froze. “But I—I mean, that—”

“I told you I’m a doctor,”

Fang Mo said, patting her shoulder with a satisfied grin. “You’ve heard of bloodletting, right? An ancient remedy passed down by our wise ancestors. Relax, I’ve been practicing medicine for thirty years… and I’ve only managed to save one patient!”

“S-So I’m literally the only person who made it out alive!”

the policewoman blurted, on the verge of losing it.

“Right, I just remembered—I specialize in bloodletting therapy,”

Fang Mo continued, ignoring her meltdown and turning to Integra. “Vampires bleed their prey dry, and I bleed my patients dry. Hence, I’m also a vampire.”

“Sure, sure.”

Integra exhaled in resignation. “You can call yourself whatever you want.”

“Welcome to Vampire Central, Officer,”

Fang Mo announced cheerfully, turning back to her and holding out his hand. “So, what’s your name?”

“M-My name’s Seras,”

the cop said hesitantly, still feeling totally lost. She reached out her hand to shake his, but—

Fang Mo suddenly pulled his hand back again.

“Don’t steal my ultimate move,” he said, inching away from her. “I specialize in team-torturing finishers. No use copying it. If you really wanna steal something, go steal Smough’s or something.”

“Huh?”

Seras had no idea what he was babbling about.

Just then, a burst of footsteps sounded in the hallway outside. A second later, the door opened with a creak and Walter the butler came in carrying a serving tray. “Milady, I’ve prepared something to eat, though it’s a bit simple.”

“Just put it on the table,”

Integra said with a slight nod.

“Great, chow time!”

Fang Mo hopped off the bed, took a seat at the table, and whisked away the metal cover on the tray. A wave of steam rose up, revealing what looked like some kind of baked pie—round, with a golden-brown crust. It looked promising at first glance, so he didn’t hesitate. He stabbed the crust with a fork… then froze.

His fork had speared two chunks of brown, rubbery meat.

“…?”

He paused, frowning. Out of curiosity, he brought one piece to his mouth for a bite. It was kinda slimy and had a tang that reminded him of poorly rinsed offal.

“Ugh…!”

Fang Mo nearly gagged. “Shit… I forgot this is Britain.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Integra asked, her face darkening.

“Um… is it really that bad?”

Walter seemed puzzled. He grabbed a clean fork, took a small bite, and chewed thoughtfully. “Well, our kitchen’s basically gone, so the ingredients from our backup storage aren’t exactly fresh. But it should still be the right taste, shouldn’t it?”

“Dude…” 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝘦𝘸𝑒𝒷𝓃ℴ𝑣𝘦𝑙.𝒸ℴ𝘮

Fang Mo grimaced. “Mind telling me exactly what this is?”

“Steak and kidney pie.”

Walter answered as though it were obvious.

“…”

Fang Mo’s face contorted into pure anguish.

“Kukuku…”

Alucard, finding it hilarious, laughed softly. “Don’t force it, maybe sticking to blood really is your best bet.”

“Forget it, I’m done.”

Fang Mo covered the plate again and stood up. “Where’s the kitchen? I need to show you Brits how to actually cook—”

“You set it on fire,”

Walter reminded him. “Like… literally burned it down. We do still have a small part intact, though.”

“I’ll go check it out.”

Fang Mo jumped to his feet and strode out the door.

“Alucard, follow him,”

Integra ordered at once. “Make sure he doesn’t cause any more trouble.”

“As you wish, my Master.”

Alucard smirked, his figure melting into the wall and vanishing.

Once Fang Mo and Alucard left, the atmosphere in the basement plummeted to near-freezing. Integra and Walter both looked grim, and even the policewoman got a little chill down her spine.

“Officer,”

Integra broke the silence after a moment.

“S-Sir? Ma’am?”

Seras stammered on instinct.

“Go change your clothes.”

Integra gestured at the uniform on the bed. “Now that you’re part of Hellsing, you can’t just lounge around dressed like that. Suit up. Things have been chaotic lately—there’s a good chance we’ll need your help tonight.”

“The changing room is right over there,”

Walter added, indicating a wooden door off to the side.

“All right, got it.”

Seras glanced at her pajama-like outfit and realized she really did need something more appropriate. Grabbing the uniform, she hurried off to the changing room.

“Milady…”

As soon as she was out of earshot, Walter spoke quietly to Integra. “Are you… truly planning to let that man stay here?”

“Yes.”

Integra’s expression was a blend of worry and resolve, but her tone was firm. “I tested him earlier—when I mentioned he’d be working alongside the policewoman, he didn’t deny it.”

“He’s dangerous, though, isn’t he?”

Walter frowned. “From what we’ve seen, even Alucard can’t do much about him in a short time.”

“That’s exactly why we can’t just let him roam free.”

Integra took a heavy drag from her cigarette, the dim basement light casting strange reflections on her glasses. “Someone that powerful, comparable to Alucard, running loose in Britain? I can’t even imagine the consequences.”

“I see,”

Walter said, nodding in understanding. “You’re afraid that if he leaves, there’ll be an even worse disaster.”

“Exactly.”

Integra nodded. “At least as long as he’s here, Alucard can keep him in check… but if he goes off on his own, he’s a walking catastrophe.”

“But that means you’ll be putting yourself at risk, Milady.”

“It’s fine.”

Integra waved off his concern. “More importantly, Walter, I have another task for you.”

“What is it?”

“Find out everything you can about him,”

she said seriously. “Things have been really off in Britain lately—there are too many new vampires. I want to know if he’s involved. And if not, I still need to figure out exactly what he is.”

“Understood, Milady,”

Walter agreed, bowing his head. “I’ll get on it immediately.”

“Thank you.”

…

Meanwhile, up on the surface, Fang Mo managed to track down what was left of the kitchen. But as Walter had mentioned, the place was mostly charred ruins—a single old-fashioned oven, one cutting board, and two surviving pots. That was about it. Most everything else had been scorched beyond recognition.

Sure, there was still a nearby toilet that had escaped the blaze, featuring a perfectly intact porcelain bowl, but it only reminded Fang Mo of unpleasant “culinary” jokes he’d rather forget. Lacking any real appetite now, he wandered out to the courtyard, flopped down under a tree, and went back to fiddling with his mod files. Every so often, he shot a glance at Alucard lurking in the distance.

Earlier, during his brawl with Alucard—burning down the manor and all—Fang Mo’s mind had suddenly registered a weird notification out of nowhere. Something along the lines of “Researching Blood and Life,” which had apparently unlocked 50% of a new module. But after the entire battle, the rest of it stayed locked. He had no clue how the system decided these things, and it wasn’t offering any pointers.

Did he need to actually defeat Alucard to unlock the remaining 50%? Or maybe the last half wasn’t connected to Alucard at all?

“Meh, overthinking it.”

Fang Mo stretched and gave up on analyzing. He’d end up fighting Alucard again anyway—sooner or later. After all, normal methods wouldn’t kill him. You’d need some conceptual-level attack, and Fang Mo was in no hurry. He didn’t exactly dislike Alucard, either; back when he watched the show, he’d thought Alucard was pretty cool. Maybe he’d wait for the final big fight in the storyline to settle it. If half the module was indeed tied to Alucard, well, he’d get it eventually.

“Man, I sure am racking up a ton of modules in this world…”

Fang Mo mused, folding his arms behind his head. “Blood Magic, plus this new unidentified module… apparently triggered by combat. I wonder if pounding on other characters would also work. There’s that Schrödinger lieutenant, for instance—”

He recalled a bizarre character in the show named Schrödinger, whose quantum observer powers made him basically immortal. You couldn’t truly kill him; after a moment, he’d just reappear somewhere else, simultaneously existing and not existing. Pretty abstract stuff.

“Quantum physics, huh…”

Fang Mo allowed himself a moment of excitement. “If I take him on, maybe I can unlock some kind of tech-themed module?”

While he was caught up in these thoughts, news of the manor’s destruction spread quickly among Britain’s top officials. The whole afternoon, a parade of helicopters and cars came and went, with various government representatives demanding explanations from Integra. Fang Mo couldn’t care less about all that, and he had no idea what Integra told them. He stayed outside, flipping through his files until evening fell. Not long after nightfall, Integra finally approached, with the policewoman trailing behind.

“Greetings, Mr. Two-Headed Ogre,”

Integra said, her face dark with frustration. “We just got intel that vampires are on the move. As you can see, our new recruit can’t handle them alone… Would you mind taking her along?”

“Oh, playing mentor to a rookie?”

Fang Mo perked up instantly, bounding to his feet. “I love that job—I get to torture—”

“?”

“Cough, cough. I misspoke.”

Noticing the uneasy looks from the others, Fang Mo cleared his throat. “I meant, of course, that I’ll protect my teammates and annihilate my enemies…”

They say Europe’s three best things are German workers, French chefs, and British police. And Europe’s three worst? German police, British chefs, and French workers…