Pretending to Be an Untouchable Crime Boss-Chapter 148: New Era.

Again, now with all his power, he started beating the shit out of the mirror, continuously hitting it until it shattered. He was breathing heavily as he looked down on his knuckles, on the blood. It wasn't that worse, just some minor cuts… just his despair.

"I need to accept it huh." He shook his head, still staring down at his blood. "Accept that at the end of it I will have nothing, no family, no parents… yeah, my brother died, my best friend died, slowly everybody is going to die, until I'm left alone with the guilt, the despair, just like Lucian…" He looked up now at the wall where seconds ago was the mirror, and that's what he needed.

To see nothing.

But not just that, no… but he already realized what he missed.

"Why the fuck am I comparing myself to others…" He whispered again. "I am not them nor do I follow their path… yeah, I am top of the game that no one ever was there…"

That was it, the realization that finally hit him, the thing he needed to accept, not just how his life changed, but who he became, how he acts on it, and how he thinks about it.

He wasn't Lucian, nor was he Silas, he wasn't those actors in movies about mafias and gangsters, he wasn't that guy from documentaries or from books, no, he wasn't them, but he embraced them and thought how they thought, did things how they did them and acted like how they acted.

But that was the worst thing he could do, because all of them in the end died… in the movies, in the books, in real life all of them died by a bullet, by a stab, by a bomb. All of them had it in common: they all died. They all became only shadows of who they once were.

The one real thing they had in common was the money, the power and how all of it slowly changed them, but the thing that mostly affected all of them was the fear.

All of them said they feared nothing. Fuck the police, fuck the agency, fuck everybody, they would kill those who got in their way. They feared nothing in the world… a lie. All of them feared for their lives, all of them feared it in their own way of course, but in common, they all feared the loneliness of it.

Why did this whole thing even mean something, when all of those around you started looking at you differently?

Marcello was not even one of them, and his family slowly turned back on him, only hearing gossip, and in the end he died too. And that was the point when James started to feel it, the back turning on him. His mother was the second, then Rafael…

The fear of being alone was more than death itself.

"Accept it." He whispered again, looking still at the wall. "I have a higher chance of being left alone than dying, that's what I should accept or that I am the new era myself, an era where a gangster reached the peak that everybody wanted." He closed his eyes for a second then looked back up at the wall.

"Yeah, I am James Bellini…." He stared at the wall. "...and my fucking fist hurts as fuck, why am I this dumb fuck!" He said as he put his fist quickly under the running water.

Maybe I'm schizophrenic… no, just a fucking bitchboy… I killed with my own hand and felt nothing. I popped out the police Chief's eyes… of course I'm going to be alone because there isn't a fucking option… he thought as he grabbed a towel, trying to wipe off the blood and it was still coming out of the wound. Yeah if being alone it means they're safe…

"Boss?" Mike's voice suddenly came through the door as it was followed by knocking. "Are you good?"

James opened the door with his left hand. "Mike, do you have a bandage?" He showed his right fist and Mike immediately started pulling out some bandage from his vest.

"Sit down." Mike said to James, and when he did, he quickly started cleaning the cut then bandaging it up.

But then James asked something that he just froze down in… confusion.

"Am I a bitch, Mike?"

At first, Mike thought it was a joke, but as he looked up, James's eyes were staring at him and his face was like a rock, not even a smirk.

"A… bitch…?" Mike asked back, now staring into James's eyes, but he just nodded.

But even though Mike was scared as fuck, he quickly put together what was exactly happening. James's hand was cut, the mirror was broken in the bathroom… which meant James had an outburst and fucked it up. The next step was his answer but what should he say… because James definitely wasn't a bitch, and even if he was, he wouldn't say it because he would die in the next second.

Then he realized James sent away his mother and Charlotte.

"T-they say it's lonely at the top, boss. But don't worry, I'm here… Hector and Ferucci too. And not just them, but many others who didn't even speak with you, and are still standing proudly with you. Some of them even pray to God every day to keep you and your mother safe… this isn't loyalty anymore…"

"Then what is it?"

"A family."

As Mike said it, there was a little silence between them as they still looked at each other's eyes.

"This is…" James started "... a little gay." He said with a chuckle at the end. "But I get your point. You can leave now." He laughed more and Mike too started chuckling and thanking God that nobody was around them seeing this scene, because now thinking about it, it was embarrassing as shit.

Family… a family that I bought with money. James thought as he shook his head and stared down at his watch.

Ah, it's time, I hope you don't die guys… because then I would be utterly fucked…

Yeah, it was time for Hector and Ferucci to roll out as the drone footage came to them, and well, the Marco estate was packed with guards, but one thing was on their side, it was a huge mansion with a garden the size of a football field, full of trees and bushes and shit… a perfect spot for some men to sneak in.

On the other hand the front of the house was more guarded with cars blocking the gate, and dozens of guards pacing back and forth, but even on the street, stopping incoming cars, which was the risk and the sign that they wouldn't be that easy to get close to the house.

So they made a quick plan on how to counter it… use the rocket launchers and create chaos.