Overpowered Wizard-Chapter B4 Ch33: Friend Zone

“Come on, Zarian! Why else would I throw aside all other options?! Look at you! You are nothing but chaos. God, I’m almost sad that I had to get stuck in a tribulation-coma to figure this out.” Naomi palmed her face and laughed like a mad woman, heels knocking on the thick, mythical table, unleashing shockwaves that blew aside the nearest chairs. “I love how much of a mess you are. I love how much you invite challenges into your life. I love the impossible, immense, completely left-field nature of Ultra Gods. Hell, if this all blows up and you go on another rampage, I wouldn’t mind it as long as I go out trying to punch you for it.”

Naomi laughed and laughed, tears streaming down her smooth brown cheeks. Zarian’s tail twitched erratically between him and the back of his seat. He was lost for words.

Being in Corma made him far too weak, so he didn’t feel as sharp as he should be. That was no excuse, though. Naomi’s words would’ve affected him the same even if they were in a better aura environment for him.

“Okay, sorry, I’m dumping a lot on you, and you’ve been through a lot. I’m being selfish even though I should be better than this. I told myself I would. I meditated a lot on it, too. But I can’t help it. I love you that much, so I’m just going to be more forward with it. Would you consider me part of your limited and special roster of crazy lovers if Ruvaria approves?” Her eyes were glistening with mirth. She smiled the biggest smile he’d ever seen from her. “If it’s a no, then it’s a no. I’ll figure out a way to get over it. And if Lucy comes back, I’ll see myself out. I’m guessing you’re hard-locked on only a trio, aren’t you? Or are you really aiming to keep it traditional?”

“I’m sure of it. No open relationships. No more of this weird faux harem crap. I want something real.”

“With two girls in fellowship with you?” Naomi leered.

Zarian grimaced. “You have to like each other. I swear on Gilbert’s God, I’ll boot you if this is your attempt to worm me away from Ruvaria.” Zarian narrowed his eyes. “I’ll literally kill you if you try to worm Ruvaria away from me.”

Naomi shook her head. “It’s not any of that. It won’t be. I’ll wine and dine Ruvaria, too, but not to steal her away. I’m impressed with her, really. The way she kept playing big bad bitch on the verge of annihilating a continent was doing things for me.”

“Again, I call upon the name of Gilbert’s God, because holy shit, Naomi! She was going to annihilate her family!”

Naomi waggled her eyebrows. “Kinky.”

Zarian’s mouth hung open.

The crazy cultivator woman wriggled her toes at him again. “See why I’m still hounding you? Where am I supposed to go, huh, Zarian!? With who? With what? How many people out there can match my freak?!”

“Lucy,” Zarian offered hopefully.

Naomi gave him a weird look. “If I’m bi, then I’m more into having a guy in my life first. Nice try there, though. Would’ve taken care of both issues, huh? Also, yeah, Bianca’s asexual.”

“You can’t keep jerking me around like that–”

“I like the phrasing there, so yes, let me jerk you around some more.”

Zarian huffed. “The point is, I’ve been fighting death matches and dealing with the consequences of my existence, and the most shocking thing for me right now deals with the people who’ve been my friends for a couple years now. So sure, let’s go there. How? When? For real? Bianca? I thought she wanted to meet an elf prince.”

“It was kinda obvious in hindsight. She can talk the talk just like the girls, but the vibe has always been more friendly than anything. I think she’s deeply, deeply romantic, but she’s totally not into sex.”

“What makes you so certain?”

“Now that I’m back from the grave, I can look at everyone in a new light. Hannah gets off on being a dom in any relationship, hence her being drawn into Rhea Hemlock’s web. Gilbert is pretty much everything he looks like in a very vanilla bread pudding package that’s as reliable as you can get. You’re not a virgin anymore, but you’re definitely a geeky nerd living out his power fantasy while enduring the consequences and the trauma of those fantasies. I’m a power-hungry freak. And Bianca’s comfortably living her super Disney life while avoiding most of the pitfalls we lustful beasts of burden must suffer. That lucky bitch.”

“Hey, don’t call Bianca that.”

“You really do treat her like your favorite little sister.” Naomi smirked. “That’s why you two work so well together. Super geeky nerd and asexual Disney beauty, a platonic match in heaven.”

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Zarian’s free evil connected the dots, and the evidence was hard to refute. He reviewed everything he’d seen and knew about his friends, and much of what Naomi said was matching up.

“Are you really sure about Bianca?” Zarian asked before shaking his head. “No, why am I asking you? I should, uh…”

“Ask Bianca? Go ahead. I dare you. I can’t wait to see how that conversation goes. Oh, wait, you don’t have to. Bianca will know. She’ll chase you down to have the conversation or play it off like normal.” The giant smile on Naomi’s face was so infuriating, Zarian wanted to do something about it. And that was the problem. He could feel her drawing him in. “Am I bothering you? My bad. I’m a bit of a brat these days. Someone should teach me a lesson.”

Zarian slowly stood up from his table and ignored the way Naomi watched him like he was a feast. He wrapped his tail around his waist to keep it from moving too much and focused on Reiki.

“Are you planning on getting revenge on your sister soon?” he asked.

“I’m not sure anymore. I’ll be happy to go wherever you take me, dear master,” Reiki answered. “I saw your real sister at the Hell Gate. She’s looking for something. I was lucky that she spared me.”

“Crap, that is lucky.” He saw the frown on Reiki’s pale face, her eight dark eyes focused on a random spot. “You okay, Reiki?”

“My faith in vengeance dimmed after that meeting. I would be more comfortable being held and watched over by you. However, I don’t wish to insert myself too much into my master’s affairs now that you’re simplifying your web.”

Zarian stopped himself from palming his face. There really was no escaping the harem tropes surrounding him. He couldn’t think of anyone else who… no, wait, there was one person he could think of.

“What’s your thoughts on Lucy Shadowfell?” Zarian asked.

Reiki smiled softly. “She would get lost in my library and want her coffee black. It would take a long time to convince her to dance with me, but the challenge of that would be half the fun. If I’m able, I would encourage her to cry, and keep her corruptive tears to myself. They would look beautiful as dewdrops on my web and taste sweet with my drinks.”

“Cool, I guess I got a whole yuri shipping system going on here. Though, I don’t think that’ll work with Ezda–”

“She’s laying it down on that Prince Omar guy. She was gunning for Arnold at first, but the old man couldn’t get over their old animosity. So Ezda took advantage of the younger meat. The two of them led the takeover of the western part of the Walled Continent and got the nomads under our empire. Couple goals, huh?” Naomi snickered.

She had plenty more to say. “With Bianca’s takeover of the Promised Continent, the Ride-or-Die Empire is the de facto leader of the world. Also, Gilbert wiped out the Harrowing Mist Isles, and Hannah now knows system runes from the Forgotten Dungeon that let her control the power supply and stuff for our world.”

Naomi stood and sauntered up next to Zarian, her smile sharpening. “Congrats, my emperor, you’ve conquered your first world. And we didn’t even have to kill that many people to do it.”

Zarian checked his notifications and found some new achievements for conquering an entire world. He could hardly believe it was that easy and went that fast. He hadn’t even done much with the bulk of the main conquest. He’d been busy fighting a tournament and messing around with magic.

“Hold on, ladies. You especially, Naomi.” Turning away from them, Zarian rubbed at his temple and focused on what mattered most and what he could achieve quickly.

First, he could spend some time drawing out a large, complex ritual that would offer Reiki as a gift to Lucy. It would be a shame to lose a mythical dungeon, especially with everything Reiki’s capable of doing. But it sounded like Reiki valued her existence a lot more now after a run-in with The Dragoness. So much so, she would give up on her vengeance against Countess of Carrowmore if it meant she could get somewhere safer, faster.

And Lucy can use a friend. Someone who can vibe with what she’s going through.

Matching Reiki with Lucy would neatly tie two issues. And maybe Reiki could steer Lucy toward a different horizon.

Second, Ruvaria.

Third, his friends. That included Naomi still, no matter her quest to move beyond that. She played a hard game, but Zarian was going to keep her in the friend zone until he could work things out more with Ruvaria. Maybe Naomi would give up.

No, she wouldn’t. Not without definite proof. She was more certain of her desires than ever. And Zarian wasn’t holding the leash or anything anymore. But she’s just one of my friends. How is everybody else? Hannah? Bianca? Gilbert?

And how would he explain that he was going to move onward without them after the tournament? That was the part that weighed Zarian down the most. Every second wasted was every second Ariana could spend on breaking free and destroying Infinita. What other options did he have?

Naomi couldn’t be his champion or disciple anymore.

I’m not even sure what that means still. This version of champion has nothing to do with the Champion Ranks. Maybe it comes down to discipleship. It was like some deep, deep, deep instinct inside of him that bubbled up from the depths of his Ultra Godhood. But it was submerged again, and even his love for Ruvaria wasn’t making it rise back up.

Why couldn’t Ruvaria be his disciple? What was a disciple?

It’s too late to ask the other Ultra Gods. Unless Para somehow knows because she’s a quick learner. If Para could actually achieve the hidden disciple mechanic, Zarian imagined he’d feel an equal extreme of pride and envy. He’d seriously need to push himself, because there was a real danger of Para surpassing him, and that would be scary for everyone.

Fourth, the tournament. 𝐟𝐫𝕖𝗲𝘄𝚎𝗯𝕟𝐨𝕧𝐞𝚕.𝕔𝕠𝐦

Fifth, everything else that needed attending to before he left.

Sixth, punching his way upward for a speed run to God Land.

“Ready?” Naomi asked once he turned around. “You’re less tense now.”

Zarian flashed her an impish smile. “You’re hard locked in the friend zone. It’ll take a while for you to break free of that.”

Naomi folded both hands over her heart. “Oh, no, another barrier in my way. It’s as if I didn’t live a life of overcoming whatever’s trying to hold me down! It’s as if I don’t get off on challenges!”