Overpowered Wizard-Chapter 296: B3: C86: Selfishness and Updates 1

He ran out of the rum from Somnigrav five days ago. He ran out of elven wine just yesterday. He was tempted to go out and scrounge around for more alcohol, but there was enough beer in the fridges to last him a while.

There was nobody else in his room. Not even Para. He couldn’t remember what he’d said to get everyone to back off, but whatever it was must’ve been awful, to where he blanked that part out of memory.

He should apologize.

But he’d already poured himself another mug of beer.

It was easier to just sit on the floor, his back against his bed frame, his room littered with broken alcohol bottles he’d tossed and smashed. He’d turned off the self-cleaning enchantments, preferring the messiness, preferring when things were hard and tragic and discouraging.

Just like times before the portal. Just like times when he’d got kicked out of the Marines or kicked out of a foster home that couldn’t deal with his eccentricities.

The mug was empty.

He poured another fill and toasted to nobody. He downed it in one go. He’d drank a lot. He could feel it hurting his vitality despite how high it was.

That was fine.

He could go without the extra vitality as long as he had a mug filled up to the brim. He raised another in toast, but to someone most deserving.

“Thanks, Funnest, you fuck up. With your blood running through my veins, I can perpetuate being a fucking genocidal fuck up just like you,” Zarian grunted before knocking back another mug. He refilled it as he slurred the next words. “You got nothing to say, Funnest? Am I under a test? Am I failing it? I think I’m okay with failing it.”

No response.

Zarian knocked back another one.

He refilled the mug.

He zoned out a bit, looking at nothing in particular. His vision wandered hazily and found an illustration on the wall. It had him and the Floridians smiling together. They had it done just recently. In Mid Winter.

How long ago had that been?

Zarian glanced toward the window and saw warm sun rays beaming over the city.

Oh, was it Early Spring already? It was a new year now, 1534 D.E.

He had less than three more months before the tournament started.

The tournament.

Something bubbled up from inside of Zarian. Something he thought would’ve gotten drowned under all the alcohol by now.

He felt a childish desire to fight in the tournament.

He growled at himself, his tail flopping angrily to the side.

Why should the tournament matter?

Why should anything matter?

He was the most horrible, the most genocidal, the most evil creature to exist. Maybe he could continue as he was if the loops were time-based and every reset saved everyone from Zarian and Ariana’s destructive madness.

But that wasn’t the case. Once enough damage happened to a section of the ‘Verse’, there was no repairing it. There was no saving everyone.

They were gone, everyone.

Every person Zarian had known or affected in his past loops … gone.

Zarian entertained a dark thought.

Maybe … he could end himself and Ariana if he called upon the Biggest Granmama. If he acquired that monster’s attention, that might finally put a stop to the cosmic crime of the Darkruns’ continued existence.

He couldn’t bring himself to do it, though.

One, he and Ariana might survive like big cosmic cockroaches. Two, he had a daughter.

Despite everything, despite the mortal families he lost in failed loops, he had someone who connected with his name, and with him. He also had his current friends. He had Para. He had a teacher who was devoted to him. He had an empire that was growing to be an interesting side project.

And he had something with Naomi. Something deep. Something that shouldn’t be.

What would Naomi think if she saw him like this?

Zarian felt something inside of him ache. He poured himself another mug shakily. Then he stopped himself as the broken pieces of his Willpower slowly assembled itself.

He felt like he was on the edge. He could shatter his Willpower again by taking another sip. Or he could rebuild it back to its former glory and get his head out of his ass.

He really wanted another sip.

He really, really wanted it.

He fucking wanted to drink and drown.

“FUCK!” Zarian roared, arm flinging, the mug shattering with the wasted beer spraying in a corner of the room. “Damn, man. All this Willpower is annoying. I can literally feel myself pushing my shit out of the way.”

If he wanted to wallow forever, he shouldn’t have raised Willpower above 1000 stats. While it wasn’t a perfect fix for internal issues all the time, it could do a lot if given the opportunity to influence.

The fog over his mind finally cleared. He was still drunk, but he wasn’t heavily depressed while drunk.

How much time had he wasted like this?

Too much time.

He could’ve been productive. He could’ve progressed his abilities. Instead, he interrupted everything, Ruvaria’s lessons most importantly.

He’d fucked up.

Now he had to dig himself out of this hole. He had to get back to the grind.

But what for?

Zarian drew in a ragged breath before saying the first thing that came to mind. “I need to get stronger.”

The words felt weird while on their way out. They sounded weird to his own ears.

What did he mean he needed to get stronger?

He was technically the strongest with his Overwhelming Darkness. All he had to do was unleash it fully.

“I need to get stronger,” Zarian repeated, because that kept coming to mind. “I, the person I’ve become and I’m growing to be, regardless of all the past versions of me, need to get stronger. Me, the one I am in this loop. The human. The person. Not the darkness. Not the Darkrun. This one right here needs to get stronger.”

It was a convoluted explanation. But it made sense to Zarian. Being able to control Overwhelming Darkness wasn’t enough. Being able to use the powers passed down to him through his bloodline wasn’t enough.

He needed more. He needed to push himself beyond what anyone would perceive was practical or necessary.

He needed to become stronger. Maybe even greater. Strong and great.

Zarian clenched his hands into tight fists. His mind was still hazy after drinking magic alcohol non-stop for weeks. He felt upset with himself. He knew why.

He was going to put himself first to become stronger and greater.

He felt a little revolted by that. There was a real possibility he would leave the others behind with his goal for more personal power, regardless of the multiverse-eating entity inside of his soul.

“I can’t think of anything else.”

And he didn’t want to waste anymore time trying to think. Not when he still had plenty of beer nearby. He needed to act. He needed to move fast and study hard in the next two months.

The Carrowmore Thousand Year Tournament was right around the corner, and he wanted to test himself against all those who would attend from across the Lesser Realm. And he wanted to win and stand ready to take on the worldwide ascension trials.

Maybe his friends would be there.

Or maybe … he would be … alone.

“Come on, let’s go tell them of your betrayal,” Zarian muttered, staggering to his feet.

He sent them a hazy message on the spider network. Their responses were bright, loud, and annoying in his head. Quieting his mind, he walked with a heavy sway out of his room.

Once the door closed behind him, his feet dragged to a stop.

Zarian looked down. “You didn’t have to wait here.”

Para looked up as a little coiled-up noodle of a red serpent. “I wanted to wait for you, and that’s what I did.”

“Have you eaten?”

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“No.”

Zarian sighed heavily. He felt a pinch of anger and hatred directed toward himself.

He breathed in.

He breathed out.

Then he lowered down and offered his hand, Para slithering up and phasing into his palm. He felt her complex and eldritch runes flicker lightly on the surface of his soul.

Together, they took the mundane way to the meeting area via the halls. They saw various personnel along the way, all of them jolting in shock before stumbling over themselves to greet their Dark Emperor with the utmost cheer.

Zarian never had issues socializing with people, but for once, he felt worn down by the constant excitement of the staff working inside the central tower. Eventually, he reached the wide open kitchen and dining area after getting lightly assaulted by so many cheerful faces and helpful staff.

Hurrying quickly to break away and get some space, he saw Gilbert, Hannah, and Bianca in a booth sectioned off for them.

Seeing him in turn, Gilbert lowered his medical book. Hannah’s neutral expression drooped. And Bianca came flying at him with tears dripping off her face.

“Please, no,” Zarian grunted, already swept into Bianca’s arms and caught in a crushing hug.

He had the morbid thought of Bianca snapping his back, but she didn’t apply enough pressure for that. Instead, he had to suffer a constant flow of tears wetting his head.

Hannah convinced Bianca to return to the booth with Zarian still bound in her arms, unable to escape the Radiant Queen. Without waiting for them to settle, Zarian told them what Ariana had said, and he didn’t skip out on anything.

The way their eyes widened, with Bianca crying even harder, meant they hadn’t known the details.

Para hadn’t told them.

Zarian wasn’t sure if that was smart or not, but he supposed his closest friend wanted information about Ultra Gods to come from the source, her host. Once Zarian finished explaining everything, especially the part about the loops, Bianca was finally getting in control of herself while Gilbert and Hannah were lost in silent contemplation.

“Nothing’s changed,” Gilbert said, sounding profound somehow.

“What?” Zarian croaked.

“Our mission remains the same. For you and your sister to find redemption by overcoming your darkness and turning away from your greatest and most evil sins. Regardless of what’s been lost in space or time, everything remains the same,” Gilbert said.

He wasn’t exactly wrong, but Zarian didn’t agree with him, and Hannah clearly disagreed a lot.

“It is not the same!” Hannah snapped. “If Zarian loses control, if Ariana wakes up fully, there really isn’t a reset after that. And then everything we’ve worked for will be gone, done, pointless. In fact, it’s worse than before. There isn’t even the threat of cosmic jars that can contain them! How much of the Verse has already fallen because of them?”

Gilbert shrugged. “So we have more context. Does that really change anything?”

Zarian felt an ache inside of him. He curled into himself, feeling darkened, his jaw shifting around as he tasted the next words he wanted to say.

He felt Para’s thin phantom body rise from out of his flesh and nuzzle her snout against his neck.

He could feel her starvation.

Food was on the way, and plenty of it was going to feed Para, but the selfish desires Zarian wanted to admit were waiting to come out first.

Ashamed, he couldn’t bring himself to say it just yet, so someone else took the floor.

“I know what must be done,” Bianca said with a whimper.

Everyone turned to her, curious but guarded.

“I’m going to the Promised Continent. I’m going to convince the elves to be our friends,” Bianca declared.

Pause.

“And what does that have to do with our current situation?” Hannah asked slowly.

Bianca wiped away a tear with a long, manicured finger.

She was wearing a sundress and hat that were the colors of sunrise with a soft splash of pale purple. There was not a day without Bianca wearing something different and fashionable, though some of her wears came out as uncommon quality and barely enchanted – she’d been learning to craft and enchant them herself like she said she would back in Somnigrav.

She had no crafting or enchanting ability, but she looked into the books, got the tools, and committed to her new hobby anyway.

Bianca, despite her flaws, was the type who would do something if she said she would.

“The elves might make things harder. And they’re Ruvaria’s family, and I bet that hurts her even though she says it doesn’t. So, to make things easier for Zarian and Ruvaria, so they aren’t so stressed while all the big things are happening, I’ll take care of the elves and make them our friends.”

Zarian found the logic … interesting.

He could see everyone was trying to follow Bianca’s train of thought.

Gilbert nodded. “Yeah, okay, that makes sense. I think if you’re doing that, then I should go grind up my levels. As much as it helps to do all this studying I’ve gotten into, I need all the battle experience I can get before you guys race far ahead of me again.”

Eyes widening, Zarian looked at the stacks of books in front of Gilbert.

The Rescue Ranger had taken to reading basic materials on biology, medicine, and the sciences of healing during the winter months. Now there were thicker volumes in front of the big blond man.

Had Gilbert really advanced into more advanced subjects? That was kind of surprising to see.

Gilbert noticed Zarian’s look and cracked a grin. “Yeah, I know, I’ve almost turned a new leaf and became an egghead like some of the rest of y’all. I figured I could heal faster and better if I knew … the science … behind it all.”

“Did someone replace Gilbert?” Hannah asked.

“Are you one of those spying driders from Carrowmore who can take skins or whatnot?” Zarian asked.

“Guys! Leave Gilbert alone! He’s never been this smart! We should encourage him!” Bianca cheered, face clean of tears and snot.

Gilbert shook his head. “God Almighty, everyone’s a critic. But I’m serious. I’m thinking I can go out with Slip and take on some challenges. And I can apply what I’ve learned for faster and better healing on myself and Slip. If you guys are okay with that, that is. I’m the best healer around, and I know it’ll be a crying shame to let me head off to build myself up when I can be useful here.”

“No,” Zarian said hoarsely. “You should do that for yourself. You all should have an opportunity to go … solo … if you want.”

“I want to solo the Forgotten Kingdom Dungeon,” Hannah blurted out.

“You have my blessing,” Zarian said, noting how Hannah looked relieved.

He felt relief in himself. “I’m … sorry. I … reacted poorly to the truth. I wasted time. I wasted all of your time. And I said some things I shouldn’t have said. I’m sorry.”

“We understand, brother,” Gilbert said. “I’ve been there. When the bad news hit like rain and thunder, I’ve done some things I still regret. So, we know that wasn’t you for real. It’s okay.”

Zarian nodded once.

Bianca burst into tears again.

The food arrived and they ate their fill, Zarian and Para eating the most.

Once their appetite was sated, Zarian found his next words. “I’m going to seclude myself for a while. Put myself at Ruvaria’s mercy. And try to study while under pressure. I have two months to push the boundaries further and harder than before. I need … to become stronger.”

Everyone stopped eating and drinking. Utensils clattered on their plates. They looked at him like he was suddenly more of a monster than usual.

Zarian felt the oozing, messy, and weird things he wanted to say come out sounding garbled to his ears. But he said the words anyway.

“I’m going to push and push and push. I’m going to go above and beyond. I’m going to be more than what’s given to me. I’m not going to hold back anymore. I can’t afford it. I’ve … hurt too many people. I don’t care if that was the fault of the past versions of me, they are all still me.

“Ariana remembers it all while I have the bliss of forgetting. So … I’m going to prioritize becoming stronger and greater. I’m going to go take the Throne of the Adventurer King and maybe use that to deal with Ariana somehow. And I’m going to save this universe as the man I want to be and find my own redemption.”

“Amen,” Gilbert murmured.

“Beautiful. This … this is the real you. This is who you are meant to be. I’m sorry it’s you, but I’m glad it’s you, too,” Bianca cried.

“I was afraid of this,” Hannah mumbled.

Zarian bobbed his head.

“What if we can’t keep up?” she asked.

Zarian had wondered the same thing prior. Surprisingly, he felt the answer come from within again. “If you can’t keep up, then that is okay. You will forever be my friend. But … I think you can keep up. I think we’re all capable of going solo to develop ourselves and coming back together as a team to wreck shit when needed.”

Hannah looked into his eyes for a long time, her bronze reflecting the darkness. Then she let out a shuddery breath and slouched back into her seat.

“I’ll need to make new calculations, new plans. If this is our course going forward, I’ll need to chart a path of progression for myself, making sure I come back home to eat Foodie’s cooking and head back again and again,” Hannah muttered.

“Hm, I’ll probably be gone for a while at the Promised Continent,” Bianca hummed. “It’ll be sad without you guys, but I’ll be okay. I bet I can get into all sorts of duels and find some fun stuff to fight there.”

“I was thinking of the Harrowing Mist Isles. Then … maybe … just maybe … I’ll go to the top of Cold Booth Castle Mountains and see what’s up there,” Gilbert planned openly. “Hell, maybe I’ll make it in time to see that tournament mess.”

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“I might join you depending on how long the Forgotten Kingdom takes. Chances are it might take a while. It’s a mythical dungeon, after all, the only one in this world,” Hannah said. “Granted, I’ll have to ensure our capital can function without Magi. I’m taking him with me this time.”

“What about Naomi?” Bianca asked curiously.

“Tribulation,” Zarian answered. “She’s power-leveling right now because of her Dao. Ruvaria had to dig deep into some lore about cultivators to understand why Naomi’s staying in her coma. It’s a rare thing, too. Something like once every hundred to thousand of years.”

“Ugh. I can already feel a headache coming on just thinking how strong she’ll be when she wakes up,” Hannah groaned, fingers rubbing underneath her spectacles. “Well, I’ll lay my burdensome concerns on Rhea. She’s practically the one in charge of everything dealing with our empire, honestly.”

“Yup,” Gilbert said.

“Uh huh,” Bianca agreed.

“Heh.” Zarian smiled, feeling reassured. “We have Foodie, the Dragon Slayer Corps, Arnold of Ambrose, Ezda and the gnolls, Lord Hoodah and the trolls, materials and people coming from Crossdeath, and all sorts here at New Florida. And … I think Ruvaria’s willing to help protect our home for us as our empire expands.”

“She’s helping because of you, mainly,” Hannah said, smirking.

Zarian sighed. “Yeah, okay, we have a thing on the side.”

Bianca sealed her lips and internally screamed.

Gilbert chuckled. “So, what about things with Naomi?”

“She’s my number one,” Zarian said firmly, “and nothing can change that. It’s just that path takes time.”

Bianca internally screamed louder.

Gilbert slowly nodded. He looked at Zarian’s marriage ring.

“I don’t know about that one,” Zarian said honestly. “She … hasn’t even shown up while I was at my lowest. She considers herself as Naomi’s rival.”

“And this isn’t a harem?” Gilbert asked.

“Dude, I don’t know what any of this is. I’m just doing me, and if people want to put a label on it, that’s their thing, not mine,” Zarian said, with a shrug.

“That’s what you call being caught up in situationships. Just be careful, man. You know how it is,” Gilbert advised.

“Please, dear Gilbert, explain how it is, so we all can know,” Hannah asked, head tilted.

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!” Bianca shrilled, breaking the nearest glasses with her voice. “Not the abuela!”

Everyone else in the kitchen dining area barely batted an eye or reacted much. They’d grown used to the eccentricities of the Floridians, and Zarian loved that about the people he cherished most. He was also relieved by how the conversation had gone so far.

His selfishness wasn’t a problem. He hadn’t betrayed anyone. In fact, Bianca had blunted his proposal by making her own proposal first.

Had she sensed the shift in the dynamics because of her Wonder stat? Zarian wouldn’t put it past her, and that made him thankful.

Everybody was more gung ho on the aspect of going solo adventuring for a while.

It was sweet.

It was also sad.

He’d thought he could keep things going the same as they started. Hadn’t the Funnest said that investing in others was the key to overcoming the darkness?

The Funnest wasn’t lying about that, either, was he?

Granted, with everyone planning to go on solo adventures, it would make their reunions interesting. They would get to compare and see how far each other grew and what new abilities or techniques they developed. The times when they could team up again would feel even greater, too.

They didn’t need him hovering over them all the time.

“You okay there, bud?” Gilbert asked.

“I’m glad. And I’m sad. But none of that matters. If we’re going to part ways for a while, how about we see how far we’ve grown, eh?” Zarian smiled brighter. “Let’s see those gains.”

Hannah raised barriers and enchanted their booth to grant them legendary privacy. Then the Star System accounted for their gains expediently.