My Stepbrother, My Enemy {BL}-Chapter 185: A Good Bad Decision (BC)

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I perched on the lowest row of the bleachers, feeling the chill of the metal seep through my jeans, despite the gym being warm with all the energy from the players on the court. A hefty fantasy novel lay open on my lap, its pages filled with tales of dragons and destined queens...that may or may not be a Yuri romance between the queens, but I hadn’t flipped a single page in the last twenty minutes.

My gaze wandered over the words but didn’t register them as I focused instead on the squeak of sneakers and the thud of the basketball, just waiting for practice to wrap up. Waiting for Ethan.

My thoughts were stuck in a relentless loop, and with every second that passed, it only got louder.

This is a bad idea.

What if he hates you after this?

What if he decides he’s done for good?

You’re going to ruin everything.

You’ve spent months crushing on him only to do this when you two are actually in a relationship?

You can’t tell him. You can’t!

But I was nothing if not stubborn, always had been...even when I was battling against myself. Deep down, under all the panic and guilt, I knew this was the only honest path left. Ethan deserved someone whose heart didn’t stumble every time another guy walked into the room.

And I needed the space to untangle the mess inside me, to figure out why Adrien’s quiet smiles were starting to feel like sunlight breaking through clouds I hadn’t even noticed were there.

The whistle blew sharply, signaling the end, and the team jogged off the court, joking and shoving each other. Ethan spotted me almost instantly, his face lighting up in that effortless way that used to make my knees weak.

He tossed his towel over his shoulder and bounded up the steps in twos, sweat glistening on his forehead and his jersey sticking to him.

"Hey, pretty boy," he said as he plopped down beside me, leaning in as if he was about to steal a kiss. "Practice kicked my ass today. I’m pretty sure the only thing that can bring me back to life is a few hours of Noah’s cuddles and possibly some really bad reality TV."

Usually, I’d laugh, maybe blush, lean into him and let his warmth chase everything else away. But today, the words got stuck in my throat, and all I could manage was a shaky smile that felt like it might crack my face.

Ethan’s grin faded almost immediately. He tilted his head, studying me with those warm hazel eyes that always seemed to look right through me.

"Hey... you okay?" he asked quietly, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "Still thinking about the party? You wanna talk about it?" 𝒻𝑟ℯℯ𝑤𝑒𝑏𝑛𝘰𝓋𝑒𝓁.𝒸𝑜𝘮

"I’m fine," I said without thinking, the lie tasting off on my tongue.

He saw right through it. His brows furrowed, concern replacing his usual playfulness.

"Wait a second... didn’t you mention we needed to talk?" He nudged my knee. "What’s going on in that head of yours, Noah?"

I took a slow breath, my fingers tightening around my book until the cover creaked. Every warning in my mind screamed at me to stop, to come up with some excuse, to pretend everything was just fine for another day.

But I couldn’t keep betraying him like that. I loved him too much to keep lying with every smile, every kiss, every time I let him hold my hand while my mind wandered somewhere else.

I closed the book and slid it into my backpack, giving myself a few more seconds to gather my thoughts.

"We should probably go somewhere quieter," I suggested, my voice barely rising above the noise of voices leaving the gym. "Somewhere we can really talk."

Ethan’s confusion deepened, but he nodded right away. "Sure, sounds good. I’m starving anyway...there’s that pizza place down the street. Extra cheese and pepperoni work for you?"

I managed a small nod, and we stepped out into the cooling evening air towards his car. The ride was mostly quiet, the kind of silence that felt heavy instead of comfortable. Ethan tried to fill it, asking about my day, mentioning a funny slip-up from one of his teammates, but my responses were short and distracted. He let the radio play softly, some indie song neither of us were really paying attention to.

When we reached the pizza joint, the familiar aroma of dough and tomato sauce wrapped around us like an old memory. Ethan ordered for us without a second thought...our usual, a large pepperoni with extra cheese and two Cokes, then led us to a booth in the back where the noise from the arcade games wasn’t as loud.

He slid into the booth across from me, rubbing his hands together like he was trying to warm them up.

"Okay, the suspense is killing me," he said, trying to keep things light even though worry still lingered in his eyes. "If you don’t spill what’s wrong right now, I might just explode all over this perfectly good pizza."

I stared at the table, tracing the red-and-white check pattern with my fingertip. My mind flashed back to another booth, another tough conversation...the day I finally told him Adrien was my new stepbrother. He’d been hurt then, too, that I’d kept it from him for weeks. I promised myself no more secrets after that.

No beating around the bush this time.

The server brought our drinks and the steaming pizza, and Ethan immediately grabbed a slice, folding it expertly before taking a bite.

"Eat," he urged around a mouthful, nodding toward my side of the pan. "You look like you haven’t eaten all day."

I picked up a slice but didn’t bite it. My heart was thumping so loudly I could feel it in my throat. I watched the cheese stretch as he pulled another bite, noticed how easy he was about it, how he kept smiling at me even though something was clearly off.

And then, the words came out, quiet but steady which was a shock because I definitely didn’t feel so steady right now.

"Ethan... I think we should go on a break."