My Girlfriend Is Very Good to Me-Chapter 81: I’m Lonely. I’m Worried. As I Expected, I’m Lonely! (5) (feat. Heena)

TL: looloo

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I turned twenty. I've reached the same age as when Yeonho and I first met.

Back then, he quickly became friends with his classmates, always maintaining a cheerful demeanor with everyone.

He never broke a promise, and when it came to group assignments, he always gave his best.

In a moment of drunkenness, he made a shy confession without even realizing it.

The you now may not be exactly the same as you were that day. But still, when I look at you, it's clear that you're the same person.

It's just that now, I've come to see many of your naive aspects that you didn’t show me before, like the vigorous splashing beneath the water's surface. And realizing this made me happier.

Because now I've come to know even the minor aspects of you. There was nothing about you I disliked; I simply loved everything about you. This feeling was the same when I was in high school and now, as a twenty-year-old.

Now, to a frightening extent.

How can one hold and love someone this much in their heart? How can this flame grow stronger day by day without dying down?

Truly, it was beyond understanding.

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Raei Translations

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As I embraced being twenty, I watched Yeonho attending drinking parties day by day.

Sometimes I joined him, other times I waited. Even when I wasn’t with him, I wasn’t overly worried. On New Year's Day, he might have overindulged because he felt secure with his family or me around, but generally, Yeonho knew how to control himself.

However, I wasn’t worried, but...

When he wasn't by my side, my heart felt an emptiness as if a part of it was missing. Even though it was normal not to see him on weekdays during high school, things have changed.

Since the end of the year, having been almost constantly by his side, now just a few hours apart brought an overwhelming sense of loneliness.

And, though I wasn’t worried about the alcohol,

"Kang Juhyun? Who's that? I don't recall such a name among your friends... A girl? A friend from middle school? Or is it that girl you briefly dated?"

I did worry about the people he met. Most of them were high school friends, but I knew that occasionally, very occasionally, he met friends from middle school.

It wasn't that he made separate plans to meet them, more like showing up if someone organized a reunion.

Although I realized my misunderstanding about this friend Kang Juhyun, thoughts of the girl he dated before still made me uneasy.

I knew it was a very young relationship, and I also knew he wasn't lying to me.

But still.

I envied her. For having known Yeonho when he was younger, for sharing conversations, meals, and even watching movies with him.

I felt jealous. Even though harboring such feelings wouldn’t change anything.

I also heard about an overseas trip planned by his friends. A trip he intended to go on with his friends, leaving me behind.

"A trip? Yeah, that sounds good. Although I wanted my first trip abroad to be with you, Yeonho, but if you really want to go, I don't mind. Have fun."

Saying this made me realize how annoying I must be. But I couldn’t help it. Our first trip had to be special.

"Then, how about we go on a hot springs trip to Japan later? I saw some pictures online last time, and they looked really great. Oh, and I'm kinda tempted by Disneyland too."

Despite my whining, Yeonho didn’t complain and instead shared these exciting future plans with me, filling me with love and gratitude.

A trip to an onsen just for us!

It would surely be the best relaxation. Going to a quiet onsen town, enjoying walks like we do here, eating delicious food.

And entering the onsen together.

Just imagining it filled my heart with happiness.

Even though it was a plan with no set date, I was already looking forward to that trip.

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Raei Translations

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One day, I went with my dad to look for an apartment for me to live in on my own. There had been a lot of deliberation and discussion about this. Although the distance to the university was considerable, the question was whether I really needed to live on my own.

Of course, I preferred to. As long as it wouldn’t be too much of a burden on my family. Naturally, part of the reason was my desire to live with Yeonho. I wasn’t planning to bring up living together immediately, but I hoped that gradually spending more days together would naturally lead to it.

No one in my family was particularly against it. My mom and brother, who had already guessed my intentions, didn’t try to stop me, and my dad seemed to think it would be a good experience, provided the place was safe.

In discussing it over KakaoTalk with my mother-in-law, she, too, was very concerned, insisting I choose a place with good security measures. I was grateful for her caring for me like family. I, too, must strive to be a good daughter-in-law.

So, I visited various places. It was my first time considering living on my own, so I was quite excited. Especially since it would be a place where Yeonho and I would likely spend time together.

"How about this place?"

"The sink doesn’t drain well, and the security seems lax. This won't do."

I had never lived on my own, but I had visited friends who did, so I thought my dad was being a bit too cautious. Most people lived in similar places, after all. But since he was meticulously checking for my sake, I followed his advice without protest.

However, we couldn’t find a suitable place that day. On our way back home, my dad received a call from a friend of his. He was someone I had met several times, as he was close to my dad and often visited our house.

"What? That officetel building is near Seoyeon University?"

Coincidentally, it turned out that his friend owned a building near the university I was going to attend. He knew I had been accepted to Seoyeon University but didn't bring it up, thinking I would commute from home.

Thanks to a stroke of luck, I ended up renting that place. The photos sent to me showed that it had everything my dad had been concerned about, perfectly in place.

It would have been a burden to pay regular rent.

But thanks to my dad's connection, we got the place at a very low price, so we decided on it without further ado.

The next day, I went to Yeonho, excited to share the good news.

"Yeonho! Let's go look at houses~"

After picking up a bewildered Yeonho, we met with my uncle and toured the officetel I was about to rent. It had a separate room in addition to the living area, and everything from the view to the kitchen and bathroom was clean and stylishly designed. Yeonho was also impressed, constantly admiring the house.

Watching him, I had to struggle to contain my overwhelming emotions. I couldn’t thank my uncle enough. Though I had already experienced college life and didn't have much expectation or excitement about it.

But living on my own, having a life independent from my family for the first time, and the fact that it would be a place where Yeonho and I could spend time alone, filled me with indescribable joy.

"Uh... am I living here too?"

Seeing his half-excited, half-bewildered reaction, I smiled and told him 'not yet.'

Now that 'living together' had become a real possibility, I didn’t want to pressure him with this idea immediately. But as he visits and spends a day, then two, gradually, we might end up living together. I remembered a friend who started living with her boyfriend in a similar way.

So, rather than focusing on the immediate, I wanted to imprint on him the idea of a more distant future.

"Our honeymoon home~ If it's just the two of us, one room is enough. We don't need a big space; this size seems perfect."

Even though it's heartbreaking that college might reduce the time I spend with Yeonho, I couldn't neglect our future for that.

I had to graduate with good grades and get a decent job. To contribute to our eventual marriage.

But still, I wasn't entirely keen on both of us working.

One of us should be at home to maintain our sweet life. It would be lovely if Yeonho worked for our home, and I took care of it. But then again, I wouldn’t want other women eyeing him, so the reverse could also work.

Honestly, either way would be fine.

Whichever path we choose, it's our future together.

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Raei Translations

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A few days later, on Yeonho's birthday.

I woke up early and stood in line at a bakery that was highly praised by friends to buy a cake. His favorite, a chocolate cake.

Then, I met Yeonho and gave him plenty of time to play games, something he hadn't done properly for a while due to studying and dating. Of course, he couldn't entirely relax with me teasing him by his side.

Watching him chew the cake I fed him, he looked almost like a squirrel. His cheeks bulged out so cutely that I felt like nibbling on them.

"Be careful, you’ll get it all over here."

Though I felt sorry to bite, I playfully smeared some cake cream on his face and kissed him.

Unexpectedly, Yeonho didn't just let it slide and looked at me incredulously. A bit startled by his reaction, I felt oddly happy that he was paying attention to me rather than the game. After some playful banter and insistence,

"Fine. But if you're lying, no kisses for a week. Say it again. Did I move, or did you do it on purpose?"

His words made me flinch a little. There were days when we didn't have much physical affection, but being able to and not doing it was entirely different from not being allowed to at all.

Still, I continued the joke, thinking he surely wouldn't go through with it. It was me who told him to focus on his game, but having him care this much was too delightful.

So, without saying anything, I just turned my head away, and he pinched my cheek, demanding an answer.

Despite my resistance and refusal to admit any wrongdoing, suddenly, Yeonho pretended as if he was going to feed me a piece of cake.

I eagerly opened my mouth, but he ended up eating it himself. He was obviously playing, but for a moment, I felt so disappointed I could cry.

"Well, yes, but! Weren't you about to feed me just now? You're getting my hopes up!"

"I told you earlier, right? If you lie, kisses are off-limits."

"Ughhh!"

I thought it was too much. My cute playfulness was met with such a response. He knew how much he enjoyed my kisses.

Finally admitting defeat and apologizing, he laughed once and then properly fed me the cake.

Of course, the cake was no longer the main focus.

"Chu─"

When he placed the cake into my mouth, I didn’t let his tongue retreat but entangled it with mine. We started a deep kiss, something we hadn't done much recently.

It had been a while, and I didn't want to end this kiss quickly, so I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him.

Yeonho then gently cradled my head, continuing our embrace and kiss. When he tried to pull back a bit, I bit his lip to hold him.

Even when we had to break the kiss for a breath.

Looking into his eyes, I could feel the fire I had tucked away in my heart engulfing my entire being.

"Sigh!"

Unable to resist, I sought his lips again. Climbing onto his lap, our lips met several times in succession.

-Chu

"Ah..."

Responding to my kiss, Yeonho kissed my neck, making it seem almost unbearable to resist today.

It seemed Yeonho, who had always asked for patience, felt the same way.

When our eyes met again, no words were needed. Exchanging heated glances, Yeonho's hand slowly moved downwards.

Just as his hand was about to reach my hips,

The loud vibration of a smartphone suddenly erupted. Our attention instantly shifted in that direction.

Disappointed by the broken mood, Yeonho let out a resigned laugh as he picked up the phone. I thought to myself, whoever it was, I would never forgive them in my lifetime.

And the culprit of my lifetime resentment turned out to be my brother. I couldn’t show my upset side to Yeonho, so I just seethed internally, planning to deal with it once I got home.

"Does the job start in March?"

I was momentarily distracted from my petty thoughts by the content of the conversation. After Yeonho hung up, I asked him to confirm.

"What's that about? Are you planning to work part-time?"

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Raei Translations

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After hearing Yeonho's explanation about the part-time job, only one thought dominated my mind.

'I'm going to be lonely.'

I had always tried to accommodate everything for Yeonho, but recently I started prioritizing my desires a bit more. When he told me about the part-time job, the selfish part of me surfaced, concerned about the time we wouldn't spend together.

I knew I couldn't keep him caged. It wasn’t efficient for him to just study, considering his personality, so I had encouraged him to do other activities like gaming.

But the moment he brought up the part-time job, the thought of less time with him made me feel uneasy. Ironically, it was I who would be busier and less free in the future, yet here I was, trying to control his time.

I shouldn’t have reacted that way. So, I stopped him when he said he wouldn’t do it if I disliked the idea. In truth, I wanted him not to take the job and spend that time with me.

Moreover, the part-time job was at a café, predominantly staffed by women. I had visited a few times before and knew that the gender ratio hadn’t changed much.

Though it was good I informed Yeonho, my anger towards my brother filled my mind.

In the end, Yeonho’s remaining birthday was spent comforting my loneliness with hugs and kisses.

As soon as I got home, I called my brother.

"Why did you call?"

"Well, he said he was looking for a part-time job, so I told him about this great opportunity..."

"Why did you call?"

"The café job is really popular, and I was worried the position would be taken if I didn't get his answer quickly, so I called to..."

"Why did you call?"

"...I messed up. I made a grave mistake..."

Even after almost two hours of venting, my anger wasn’t subsided. It wasn’t just about the part-time job but the missed opportunity. It was the first time the usually guarded Yeonho showed such an opening, especially since 'that day' wasn’t far off!

Even until right before falling asleep, I expressed my anger, which continued until just before I met my brother and Yeonho the next day.

However, I couldn’t show such feelings to Yeonho, so I managed to keep a composed face when I met him. I wanted to support whatever he was doing.

Though I felt it would be lonely, and worried about other women getting close to him, I knew I couldn't control him like this for the rest of our lives.

"I'll take a look around the neighborhood for a bit. Call me when you're done."

After arriving at the café, I let Yeonho go in alone, thinking my presence might make him nervous. I intended to take a walk around the block, but found myself returning to the café within minutes.

Wandering alone proved meaningless. The moment I was apart from Yeonho, loneliness enveloped me.

So, from outside the café, through the glass window, I observed the space where he would be working. I had visited a couple of times before, but only briefly, so I didn't remember much. The ambiance seemed appealing to women, and I recalled the Americano being quite good.

I saw one employee bustling around energetically, like Yoonjung unnie, another cleaning the coffee machine carefully at the counter.

And female customers seated here and there.

As expected, the café was filled with women, making me feel a bit dizzy. My anger towards my brother resurfaced, but I calmed it down, thinking about the date with Yeonho after his interview.

Shortly after, I saw him coming out, apparently done with the interview. I planned to greet him with a compliment for his hard work.

But my mouth acted on its own.

"Welcome back. How was the interview? The people you saw last time were still there, right? They're all pretty, aren’t they? You seemed to enjoy talking to them. How was it?"

Yeonho's smiling face, as he greeted the staff before coming out, lingered in my mind. I knew it wasn’t anything special, but I couldn’t help feeling petulant.

So, when he tried to smooth things over, I pretended to be swayed by his efforts.

Yeonho brought me a drink, and moreover,

"But you look so pretty in it. Every time I open KakaoTalk, it makes me happy."

His sweet words were in response to my wish to change our profile picture out of jealousy.

"I really want to take you home right now."

He didn’t stop there but sweetly whispered and kissed me. Hearing those words, I wanted to smother his lips right there and then. But remembering his shyness about public kisses, I restrained myself, looking for a more secluded spot.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere quiet. Hurry up!"

It was impossible to hold back any longer.

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Raei Translations

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After sharing a melting kiss with him, walking around the neighborhood where we would live, and gazing together at the apartment we couldn’t enter because of construction, I felt loneliness creeping in again.

The room up there, my room, was a haven where I could be with Yeonho.

At the same time, it was a space where I had to endure loneliness when he wasn't around.

I had only been waiting for moments to be with him, but now that it was possible, more desires slowly crept into my heart.

"Do you want to see me every day?"

"I want to carry you around in my pocket."

Like a dwarf in a fairy tale, how wonderful it would be to keep him in my pocket and be together all the time.

But then, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy kisses like the ones he gave me, or even more intimate moments.

"Then, I'll kiss you more than ever before, so much that you'll think of kisses more than loneliness. Can you bear with that?"

It was the solution I had been longing for. Of course, it wouldn’t completely dissolve my loneliness.

But if his scent, the memory of our kisses, that feeling, could linger even a bit. Then, maybe, I could bear it a little more.

Still, ideally.

If only I could spend my whole life in his arms.

How wonderful that would be.