MTL - After Rebirth, the Buddha-like Star Is a Medical Expert-Chapter 719 Second watch

  Chapter 719 Second update

  Ning Youguang analyzed with Shi Mochiyue all the thoughts he had that day because of Liu Susu.

"I can also persuade you to treat her better, even if you don't treat her emotionally, at least be generous to her financially. This is easy for us, and I can do it too. It's easy to forgive her and even help her as I've helped so many others, but..."

She felt her heart was a little heavy, "But I asked myself very seriously, will this hurt you? Will this force you to go against your original intention? If it makes you go against yourself because of my request If you don’t have a heart, then am I cruel to you? Don’t persuade others to be kind before others have suffered. I have never experienced what you have experienced, and I have never suffered by myself. What qualifications do I have to ask you to forgive her? "

  Shi Wangyue buried her head in Ning Youguang's neck, and asked sullenly, "Is there any more?"

"Yes." Ning Youguang looked at the moon while hugging him tightly, and gently stroked the back of his head and back, "I know you haven't gotten any love from her since you were a child, and you still hate her, so I don't want to be with you." Regarding her attitude, what suggestions do I give you, no matter how you want to treat her, I will always stand with you unswervingly. It’s just that I have one thing for you when it comes to treating your mother. A little bit of selfish expectation."

   "Tell me." Shi Mochizuki said dumbly.

   "Then I told you, don't feel uncomfortable listening to it." Ning Youguang vaccinated him in advance, "This is just my expectation for you, and I don't ask you to do it."

"it is good."

"I hope that one day in the future, you can stop feeling resentful towards her, but get rid of the grudges in your heart, and think about how to face the past. I don't want you to choose to forgive her, but for yourself. You must Face the difficulties. A person cannot always keep a poisonous snake in his chest, and cannot get up every night to plant thorns in the yard of the soul."

  Ning Youguang felt that his neck was wet, and his heart was slightly tight, but he didn't say anything.

  Just continue to stroke the back of Shi Mochizuki's head and back again and again, giving him silent comfort.

   After a long time, Shi Mochizuki sniffed and said, "You know what? Actually, I'm a little scared."

"afraid of what?"

   "I'm afraid I won't love." Shi Mochizuki raised his head and took a deep breath. "I once read a book that said, 'Every one of us is in the movement of the big history, and we are just a part of this huge whirlpool.' I must have the traits that I hate in my parents, but I cover them up. Denial hides, and if I'm going to move through these, the most important thing is for me to acknowledge them, 'own' them, so that it becomes me who owns them, not them who owns me, and it's kind of sad that I've been I look inside myself, the more I observe, the more desolate I feel, there are some things that I still can’t face, let alone a breakthrough.”

He smiled bitterly, "For example, about love, you said that the source of everyone's love is their mother, but the source of my love is a mess, so bad that I dare not ask you to do a family rehearsal to help me see if I There is a link with the source of love."

He said, "I often see my arrogance. You once said that arrogance is also a cover for inferiority. A confident person does not need the cloak of arrogance. When I see these things in myself, I start to fear, I am afraid of myself. I can't find the source of love."

——"I'm afraid that I can't love you in the right way. I'm afraid that because I can't connect to the source of love, I can't become love, so I can only ask for love. I'm afraid that if I don't feel safe, I will have a very strong possession of you. want."

  So I have been restraining my heart all the time. Sometimes even if my restrained heart hurts, I have to tell myself that no matter what, I must not hurt my sister. This is the bottom line he set for himself.

  Ning Youguang hugged Shi Wangyue, and said softly, "Don't blame yourself, love it, allow it, this is our own who was hurt because of our weakness."

   "I don't seem to be able to fully accept myself like this."

  Shi Mochizuki thought about it, but chose to face her heart honestly.

Because he desperately wants to become a better version of himself, and desperately wants to give her and their future family a better version of himself, so no matter how painful he is, he decides to face himself bravely, the true self, The self who had been wounded and riddled with holes became hideous.

   "I hated her very much before, but after being with you, I dare not hate her anymore. I am afraid that my hatred for her will affect my love for you and our children."

  So he chose to shut up all his feelings for Liu Susu.

   Mochizuki didn't say anything about the second half of the sentence, but Ning Youguang understood it too.

   "You don't believe that you can love others, you don't believe that you get love from your parents?"

"yes."

   "Then do you believe you will love me?"

  Shi Mochizuki didn't answer.

  Ning Youguang continued, "I believe that you know that you love me, and you are absolutely sure. The reason why you are silent is that you don't know whether you can love me with the most perfect and correct love."

   "Yes." Shi Mochizuki's eyes were slightly red.

  Ning Youguang gently stroked his slightly frowning brows, "You will definitely believe me, right?"

"Yes." Shi Mochizuki's eyes were wet, "A lot of times I doubt myself whether I love you in a better way. Although I have worked hard to learn, I am not sure about it. right."

  Under the bright lights, Mochizuki smiled when Ning Youguang saw his heart being torn open and exposed to himself, "Do you think you're pretending to love me?"

   "Of course not." This time, Mochizuki answered firmly.

   "Do you think it's hypocritical for me to love you?" Ning Youguang asked again.

   "No." Mochizuki Shi also answered affirmatively this time.

Ning Youguang also told him firmly, "Then don't doubt your love for me and the way you love me. There are thousands of theories about love, but in the end, we still have to see what is in our hearts. , everything you give me, in addition to your giving, and my acceptance, you don't believe in yourself, but believe in me, in this case, please continue to believe in me, believe me, even if you give me wrong The way of love, I can also interpret it as the correct form of love."

   "I'm sorry." Shi Mochizuki said, "Please continue to give me a little more time."

   "The rest of my life is all yours."

   "Thank you." Shi Mochizuki's throat choked up.

   On the first day of the New Year this year, he felt braver.

  (end of this chapter)