Married To The Mad Vampire Lord-Chapter 80: Who the heart choose

Belle was as restless and anxious as a person placed before the gallows and was waiting to be hanged to death. It had been just a day after the banquet they had attended in the royal castle, today being the second day and almost evening, and though she had not set her eyes on her husband since then, she couldn’t think much about him or anything that had to do with him.

She was more worried about another matter. Jamie.

She had worried just yesterday on how to meet him and get to talk to him since she had been unable to do so that day, but who would have thought he would reach out to her first? It was unexpected and totally surprising that he knew where she was and had access to come close enough to call Farrah.

Belle had been reading that large book about vampires’ history to learn more about the lands and to distract her mind from Jamie and her wandering mind from her husband’s absence in the castle, when Farrah had rushed in, locked the door, and warily delivered his letter to her.

"My lady, we were on our way to the market and thankfully Gwen wasn’t with us when I saw a tall man in a gray cloak standing just outside the gate. He is handsome and lean with blue eyes," Farrah had said, and Belle knew immediately it was Jamie. She knocked the book away from her lap beside the fireplace as she got to her feet in alarm.

"He gave you this letter?" Belle asked, trying so hard not to make her voice quiver or show how much panic was consuming her and the worry that Jamie was risking being seen by Rohan.

"Yes. He told me to hand it to you personally. He looks quite desperate and pitiful, he even asked if he could come in but I told him he wouldn’t be welcome inside. I told him I was your maidservant, that was why he trusted me enough to hand me the letter. What does it say, my lady?" Farrah probed curiously as she urged her mistress to read it.

With shaky hands, Belle had unfolded it and began to read. Different emotions went through her as she read through his familiar neat-handwriting that always wrote her love letters in Aragonia and gave her the strength to live through her family’s hate towards her. She felt the back of her eyes burn even before she began reading it.

[I don’t know where to begin to write this, Isabelle. But I hope this got into your hands somehow. I did not know the whole story behind your marriage into this land, until Eve came to tell me everything days after you have left...

I had thought you no longer wanted a life with me, which was why you never came to see me or suggested that we elope, since I had nothing to offer you — not even a good noble name. I had not come to you when I read your letter about your marriage, but I realize now I had made the worst mistake of my life to let you go. I should have manned up and taken you away before the marriage. You are not the world’s hero to find ways for Aragonia.

Eve said you didn’t want to go and were against it because you love me. She made me realize what a coward I was, and now I am here to rectify everything. I will not leave Nightbrook unless I take you with me.

I have prepared a place for us to go in Barbara, it’s small but I know it will be enough for us. We could build that family we promised to have and our life could be just as we have dreamt. I will wait for you in the human town next to Grimvale, I am staying at Mr. Andrew’s inn, you will find me there. Until you come, I am not leaving Nightbrook.

To yours, my beloved.

J. M.]

Belle’s eyes swelled with tears and her throat felt like a huge lump had lodged itself there, making it impossible to swallow or breathe. She dropped to the chair with the letter slipping from her grip to the floor, where Farrah took it and began to read what was in it.

Belle wondered why her sister, who never once liked Jamie and would call him names and look down her noble nose at him, would go out of her way now to tell him all this and motivate him to come for her. Didn’t she know the danger she had just put him and her in? If someone were to know that he was here for her, she did not want to imagine the consequences.

Honestly, she would have rather Jamie believed that she left him and would never return than for him to know that there was a tiny hope that she could be his again because the marriage was never meant to be real.

She had suspected somehow that he was in Nightbrook to meet her, but not once had she thought he was here to attempt to take her away. She wished it was that easy and that he had come sooner. Now, apart from the mission, there was another reason tying her down to this place and to this marriage. Her husband...

She had no idea when it had started, but she knew she did not want to part with him just yet. It was strange how one’s heart and mind worked, just weeks ago she had thought she would never like a man like Rohan or even let her heart get involved with him, but...

She squeezed her eyes shut and let her tears fall because she felt ashamed to so quickly forget all those simple dreams she had with Jamie. She had once wanted them so badly that it was her driving force in life to be his wife and have a simple life. But now she could barely even remember what the dreams of that life were even though she somehow wanted it.

She could still have those dreams, and somewhere in her mind she knew she wanted that life more than this extravagant life, but then, she felt like she would be leaving something important to her behind. She was starting to get used to everything here and her husband, despite how twisted he was, but then she also could not turn her back on a man she had loved and known for almost two years for someone she had only just known for weeks...

She barely knew Rohan compared to Jamie, who shared everything with her from when he was little. She knew everything down to his favorite color and favorite meals. She could visualize his childhood memories because he shared everything with her in precise details that made her feel like she was there with him.

But Rohan...

Nothing. He barely even talked about himself, but somehow he always found ways to make her feel things. And if she were truly sane — which she suspected she wasn’t — she would have already run to Jamie and left her twisted husband behind.

What was she going to do? Jamie would not leave without her, and she couldn’t let him stay in a world like this, not when he had his parents waiting for him in Aragonia and a life ahead of him. Yet she also did not want to betray her husband, nor cause the death of anyone through this mission — a mission she was failing terribly at.

She didn’t want to go back and disappoint her parents either. But then, if she went with Jamie, she would not only be saving many lives and future war, she would also be sparing herself from ever seeing her family’s disappointment... and she would never have to witness Rohan get killed someday after she miraculously discovered the vampires’ weakness for the humans. Jamie would take her somewhere far away — far from both lands, far from all of this.

What about Rohan? a voice in her head whispered.

Belle felt her heart squeeze within her chest until she couldn’t hold back a sob. What was she going to do?

"My lady, do you want my advice on this matter?" came Farrah’s small voice, as tears glistened in her clear green eyes after reading the letter. She was a hopeless romantic who believed one should follow their heart.

Belle needed someone to tell her just what to do, as she was incapable of deciding that herself. She did not want to let anyone down and wanted this to end well, and she listened to Farrah’s advice.

"You think I still love Jamie?" Belle asked after listening to what Farrah said about following what her heart wants and who she loves.

"Yes. You wouldn’t be this torn between what to do if you don’t love him. If I were you, I would go with my heart and leave with a man who will love me. I can help you go to him without his lordship finding out until you are far gone from Nightbrook," she suggested, as she crouched down to give Belle a gentle squeeze in her trembling hands.

"I don’t know..." Belle had said then, but now that it was evening—where Farrah had told her to call for her if she had decided upon what to do—Belle made a final decision and was determined to stick with it no matter what. She had to meet with Jamie tonight no matter what.

She needed to put an end to these conflicting thoughts and emotions, and the only way was to know if she still loved him or not. If she still felt that same love she had for him before leaving Aragonia by seeing him, Belle decided she would go with him. And if she didn’t...

She sent for Farrah when the sky turned twilight.

"You have to leave now. I heard his lordship has something important that will keep him out for long. I will cover for you for as much as I can," Farrah said urgently after Belle told her she had decided to meet Jamie, though she did not mention it was for her to test what her heart felt, and for whom she wanted to stay with.

Farrah helped her into a cloak and gave her a lamp. She went to start packing Belle’s things, but Belle quickly stopped her.

"I won’t be taking anything with me."

Not knowing if she would come back or not, she hugged the girl and held back her tears.

"I will miss you. Thank you for your help, Farrah."

Farrah hugged her back and then urged her to leave before Rav returned from wherever he had went to.

With the help of the girl, Belle was led to the edge of the castle fence that was now connected with Grimvale Forest. She couldn’t risk taking a horse, not that she knew how to ride one, or taking the road path. She could come face to face with Rohan or even Rav.

The forest was the only safe road, and if she followed the map Farrah had given her, she would walk into the town where Jamie was. She said her farewell to Farrah and took a deep breath before she stepped her feet and crossed the broken fence to the dense forest.

Thankfully, it did not rain today and did not seem like it would rain. The sky was still somewhat bright, and if she could run as fast as her legs could take her, she might make it out somewhere before it turned completely dark.

She did not overthink herself into changing her mind and went into it without turning back, her red fur cloak sweeping with the wind.

"Goodbye, my lady," Farrah said with teary eyes, which she wiped, and then turned away and ran back to the castle.