Living Only For Myself: Make Those Who Hate Me Regret It-Chapter 20: It’s an Even Worse Mistake to Not Give Birth to a Son

Only later did she find out the story. Her aunt, Xu Xiaogu, had been beautiful in her youth—so much so that she was famous for her looks in the streets surrounding the Xu Family home. But then she met a poor student from the countryside. The two fell madly in love and pledged their lives to one another.

Although the Xu Family had never been particularly wealthy, they were natives of Chang City. They owned an old house in the city and, as registered urban residents, received grain rations. Naturally, they wouldn’t allow their stunningly beautiful daughter to be with a country boy.

But in an era that championed the ideas that "women hold up half the sky" and that marriage should be a free choice, how could their elders possibly stop them?

Xu Ruyue promised her family she would stop seeing him, but she secretly continued their relationship. ’Once my love gets into university and has a bright future,’ she thought, ’my family won’t have any reason to object, right?’

With this hope in her heart, she waited until the year of the college entrance exam. The poor student proved to be quite capable—he actually got into a university in Beijing.

It should have been a joyous outcome for everyone, but contrary to his promises, the man never came to the Xu Family to propose. Instead, he left for Beijing without a word, leaving Xu Xiaogu to wait in vain for him to return with a betrothal gift.

In the end, her lover never came. Instead, she discovered she was pregnant. Her growing belly could not be hidden from the experienced women of the household, and she was soon found out by Mrs. Xu and her two sisters-in-law.

The fact that his delicate, flower-like youngest daughter had gotten her belly knocked up by a poor student who then vanished without a trace sent Mr. Xu into a rage. He was about to beat her to death on the spot, and it was only because Mrs. Xu risked her own life to shield her that she was spared.

Xu Ruyue was quite daring back then. She knew that if her lover didn’t come to propose, her family would never let her keep the child. So, in the middle of the night, while everyone was asleep, she stole money from the house and went to Beijing to find him. She was gone for two or three months.

The Xu Family, having lost a daughter, naturally reported her missing to the police. Two months passed before they got a call from the police in Beijing. In the end, it was Xu Weiping who went to Beijing to bring his sister home.

No one ever found out what happened during those two months. All they knew was that when Xu Ruyue was brought back, her stomach was flat. She fell to her knees before her parents, crying that she had been wrong.

There’s a saying that admitting and correcting one’s mistakes is the greatest virtue, and her parents, brothers, and sisters-in-law did forgive her. But in those days, a scandal of this magnitude completely destroyed Xu Ruyue’s reputation in the neighborhood.

The suitors who once flocked around her now avoided her like the plague. Even if a young man genuinely liked her, his family would never accept a daughter-in-law with such a tarnished name.

In the end, seeing that no decent families were willing to propose a match, the Xu Family was left with grim options. The only suitors were either old widowers with several children or men with physical disabilities who couldn’t easily find a wife.

After weighing their options, only her current husband, a man with a limp, seemed acceptable. His limp didn’t stop him from working or earning money, and he was of a suitable age. Without consulting their daughter, the old Mr. and Mrs. Xu hastily married her off.

After the wedding, the man with the limp, who had solemnly sworn he didn’t care about Xu Ruyue’s past, failed to keep his promise. His words were frequently tinged with disgust. And after she gave birth to two daughters in a row, her life became even harder, with beatings becoming a regular occurrence.

Not one of the three Xu brothers stood up for their sister. In their eyes, she had been wrong to ruin her reputation before marriage, and failing to produce a son after marriage only compounded her error. Only when things got too hard to watch would they offer a few half-hearted words of persuasion to their brother-in-law.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That evening, at the Xu Family dinner table, the family sat together as Chen Shulan brought up their recent expenses.

First, there was Xu Su coming to the city for school; her registration alone had cost several hundred yuan. Then, their younger son was starting elementary school tomorrow. Back then, textbook fees weren’t waived, so registration, uniforms, books, and other miscellaneous costs would add up to another few hundred.

This already amounted to nearly a month of Chen Shulan’s salary. And on top of that, Mr. Xu’s birthday was just around the corner. They weren’t a wealthy family, so they couldn’t afford to hold a banquet at a restaurant; the plan was just to have a family get-together at the old house.

But it was his own father’s birthday, after all. They had to at least give him a red envelope as a token of respect, didn’t they?

"Let’s make it twelve hundred," Xu Weiping said decisively, having listened to his wife’s nagging for some time. "Get a red envelope ready. And buy Dad two bottles of liquor. Nothing else is needed."

Chen Shulan was reluctant. "When we moved out of the old house, you promised to give your parents three hundred yuan a month out of filial piety, and I never said a word against it. But twelve hundred all at once? Xu Weiping, do you think this money is easy for us to make?"

Xu Weiping ate his food in silence, not saying a word.

"Let’s not even compare ourselves to the eldest’s situation, but what about the third brother? His whole family lives in the old house. Forget giving Mom and Dad money; I bet the old folks even have to subsidize their grocery bills, don’t they?"

Chen Shulan pressed on, "Just the other day you were saying you wanted to buy a cell phone. You said so-and-so from the factory got one and was obnoxiously showing it off to you for ages. And now you’re setting aside twelve hundred for your dad? That’s enough to buy two or three phones!"

CLANG!

Xu Weiping slammed his bowl onto the table, making Chen Shulan jump.

Xu Yang was startled too. Too young to read the room, his lip quivered, and he was about to start wailing. Chen Shulan shot her husband a glare and rushed to comfort their son.

The interruption from his son defused the situation, and Xu Weiping, who had been on the verge of exploding, softened his tone. "Fine! The phone can wait. But it’s Dad’s birthday. It would be inexcusable for me, his son, not to show my respects."

"Don’t keep comparing us to the third brother. We moved out. He’s the one there, fulfilling filial duties on our behalf. Our life is a little easier than his. It’s no big deal if one brother takes a bit of a loss. Just do as I say and get it ready."

Don’t be fooled by the fact that Xu Weiping was just an ordinary manual laborer to the outside world; at home, his authority was absolute. Once he made a decision, Chen Shulan dared not say another word.

In fact, it was only after Xu Yang’s birth, with a son to secure her position in the family, that Chen Shulan had gained the courage to occasionally talk back to her husband as she just had.

Years ago, when Xu Su was born and they saw she was a girl, it coincided with the height of the family planning policy. Her birth essentially meant the end of Xu Weiping’s family line.

It was Chen Shulan who later decided to secretly send their daughter back to her own family’s home, telling everyone else she’d been given away. She was desperate for a son, but then failed to conceive for many years. To make matters worse, Xu Weiping’s younger brother, Xu Weiguo, who married later, had two sons in a row. The contrast was agonizing.

In short, during all the years before Xu Yang was born, Chen Shulan didn’t dare to so much as breathe too loudly in the Xu Family home.

At this, seeing she couldn’t change her husband’s mind, Chen Shulan could only nod in agreement.

Xu Su ate in silence, staying out of the conversation. But then Xu Weiping looked over at her, showing a rare flicker of concern. "Susu, you officially start school tomorrow, right?"

Xu Su, who was holding her bowl and had just taken a bite of rice, nodded at the question.

"Are you planning to eat lunch in the school cafeteria, or are you going to come back home for it?"