Living Only For Myself: Make Those Who Hate Me Regret It-Chapter 199 - 1: My Fists Are Getting a Little Hard...

Chapter 199: Chapter 1199: My Fists Are Getting a Little Hard...

After thinking it over and over, Xu Su finally spoke. "I used to think he was just annoying. I habitually twisted all his good intentions. Looking back now, I think I must have liked him for a long time. I just wasn’t willing to admit it to myself."

"Xi Zirong, I don’t want to hurt you at all. Really. I never meant to make you this upset." Xu Su was overwhelmed with guilt. She didn’t even dare to look up at the boy’s expression, speaking with her face turned to the side.

Xi Zirong had always been smart. At the very least, he could clearly tell that her words were coming from the heart.

The girl’s guilt was obvious... but it seemed to be only guilt...

It felt like a gaping hole had been torn in his heart, with an icy wind pouring in. Xi Zirong was so cold his teeth were chattering. It took him a long moment to find his voice. "Then what about me? Was it all a lie when you said you liked me before?"

"You say you’ve realized you like Zhou Mochen, but what about our relationship?" his voice was hoarse as he pressed on relentlessly. "You also said you cared for me, you kissed me on your own accord. Xu Su, why are you suddenly throwing me away?"

’Why did she have a sudden change of heart...?’

Xi Zi’s eyes were filled with confusion. He truly didn’t understand why the girlfriend he’d been so close with just a week ago was now so determined to break up with him.

That was a question Xu Su couldn’t quite explain herself.

She could only remain silent...

Xu Su really couldn’t explain her complicated feelings for Zhou Mochen to anyone else.

Without experiencing it firsthand, mere words felt too pale to convey it all.

The bits and pieces from her past and present lives, her entanglement with Zhou Mochen, were already carved into her very bones.

Perhaps she’d only truly realized she liked Zhou Mochen after that experience as an Apiao.

But, before she became an Apiao, before she truly saw that emaciated, thirty-five-year-old Zhou Mochen, had Xu Su never once been moved by the Zhou Mochen of this life, the one who doted on her and complied with her every whim?

She had...

It was just that her desperate desire to get away from him had overwhelmed everything else. It made Xu Su afraid to even analyze her feelings for Zhou Mochen, so she simply bundled them all up and labeled them as annoyance.

Looking back now, there were actually many times she couldn’t bring herself to be cruel.

In the spicy hot pot restaurant in Kang County, on the field at First High School, and even that time last summer vacation when Zhou Mochen drove through the night to find her at her grandmother’s house... besides annoyance, there were many other complicated emotions...

And among those feelings, it wasn’t just a sense of being touched... there was also a lot of love that she had been unwilling to admit.

An arm tightened around her waist, jolting Xu Su from her thoughts. Xi Zirong had pulled her into his embrace. "Answer me. Why are you throwing me away?"

He rested his chin on Xu Su’s uninjured shoulder, his voice softening. "Susu, you said you liked me."

Xu Su’s heart clenched. She nodded quickly. "I did. Xi Zirong, don’t doubt yourself. I really did like you."

"But it’s also true that you don’t want me anymore, right?"

The moment the question left his lips, Xi Zirong regretted it. He didn’t want to know the answer at all.

His arms tightened, holding her desperately. "I don’t want to break up. Susu, let’s not break up. Since you liked me once, can’t you just try to like me again? Please? Let’s not break up."

"Don’t be like this, Xi Zirong. I told you, don’t demean yourself like this." Xu Su raised her arms and slowly hugged him back. "I genuinely liked you. And because of that, Xi Zirong, I want what’s best for you. I’m not worth it. I’m really not worth you turning into this."

She didn’t know what Xi Zirong had achieved in her past life, but given how exceptional he’d always been, it couldn’t have been anything less than stellar.

Maybe he focused on his field of scientific research, shining brightly.

’Didn’t he say it before? Biotechnology, artificial intelligence... any major would have been fine. In any case, it couldn’t be worse than this...’

What Xu Su had to do now was set his lifeline straight.

Back on his original path, Xi Zirong shouldn’t be trapped by love, nor should he be so self-abasing.

He was proud, exceptional, and someone his peers looked up to.

After the hug, Xu Su took a deep breath and looked up, finally daring to meet Xi Zirong’s gaze. Seeing his bloodshot eyes, even though she had mentally prepared herself, she still felt a flicker of pity.

Who could truly be heartless toward this boy, whose heart was so full of her?

But her mind was already made up. Just as Shen Chen had said, dragging things out wouldn’t do anyone any good.

If she didn’t make things clear with Xi Zirong now, how could she possibly face Zhou Mochen?

She couldn’t actually be like Shen Chen described—dating one person at school while hooking up with another on the side...

That would be unfair to everyone.

At that thought, Xu Su steeled herself. "It’s true that I liked you, and it’s also true that I like someone else now. Xi Zirong, I don’t want to be with you anymore. Can we just part on good terms?... Let’s be civil. Don’t drag this out."

.....

Maybe her previous words were too cruel, or maybe it was the devastating power of her final four words. Xi Zirong opened his mouth, but couldn’t say anything for a long time.

His face was deathly pale...

Xu Su averted her gaze, refusing to look at him, afraid she would feel a pang of pity again.

’Shen Chen was right, she really was too soft-hearted...’

If it hadn’t been for that inexplicable kiss from Shen Chen, Xu Su might not have been able to steel her resolve to break up with him now.

Deep down, she didn’t want Xi Zirong to feel wronged at all... and she especially couldn’t bear to see him groveling and begging.

Ripping off the band-aid quickly was the only way...

After a long wait, silence once again fell over the villa’s main hall...

Xu Su lifted her wrist and glanced again at the watch Xi Zirong had given her. It was almost twelve.

A sense of urgency welled up inside her, and she couldn’t help but press him. "Take me home, Xi Zirong. Our main priority right now is to prepare for the college entrance exams. It’s just like Mr. Chen said, once you get to college, you’ll meet so many more amazing girls. Maybe then, you’ll look back on how you feel right now and think it was no big deal."

She was trying her best to persuade him, but Xi Zirong just forced a smile and walked toward the front door without a word.

He was still the same boy who never wanted to make things difficult for Xu Su. Even though he was in agony, he couldn’t bring himself to ignore her request.

All the way until they were back in the car, Xi Zirong didn’t say a word.

It seemed he was truly trying to honor her request not to drag things out.

The atmosphere in the car was incredibly awkward. After Xu Su fastened her seatbelt, Xi Zirong stomped on the gas and drove away from the villa.

.....It was certainly uncomfortable for a couple who had just broken up to be alone together.

At least, that’s how it seemed to Xu Su. She sat rigidly, completely unable to ignore the heavy, oppressive atmosphere emanating from the person beside her.

She had once naively thought they could be friends after breaking up... but seeing how things were now, she figured it was best to forget it...

How could two people who had genuinely been in love go back to being friends without any hard feelings after a breakup?

To stand by and watch them find another partner?

Xu Su narrowed her eyes slightly, leaning back against the seat. She couldn’t even imagine Xi Zirong falling for another girl the way he’d fallen for her.

And then treating that girl with tenderness, giving her his whole heart, kissing that girl the way he kissed her....

The thought was infuriating.

Her fists began to clench.