Living Only For Myself: Make Those Who Hate Me Regret It-Chapter 175: When Did She Realize He Liked Her?

Chapter 175: Chapter 175: When Did She Realize He Liked Her?

The custom in Kang County was to have two bridesmaids. The other was the groom’s paternal cousin, and their family’s Susu couldn’t be allowed to look second-best.

Chen Shulan’s proud tone was enough to make the usually calm Xu Su nervous, afraid she would mess up during her first time as a bridesmaid and embarrass her aunt.

A wedding in the county seat might be different from one in the village, and Xu Su had never experienced one. She specifically asked if there were any special duties for a bridesmaid or things she needed to look out for.

Chen Shumei didn’t know either. The groom’s family was handling all the wedding arrangements, so she just told Xu Su to stick with Li Tingting the whole time.

The wedding was in the county seat, which meant the bride had to leave her family’s home early in the morning to get her makeup done at a local bridal shop. As a bridesmaid, Xu Su naturally had to go with her.

So, early on the morning of July third, a procession of six wedding cars was parked on the road in front of Grandma Xu’s house. For a rural wedding in those days, this was quite a grand display. The bride sat in the lead car, a Buick.

Xu Su left her classmates and got into the back seat of the wedding car by herself to accompany the bride.

Xi Zirong and the others would head out later with Xu Su’s two uncles’ families and go directly to the hotel for the banquet.

After getting in the car, Xu Su glanced around. Besides the bride, Li Tingting, the other bridesmaid was also in the back seat. She didn’t see the groom, which made her wonder.

’He’s not even coming to pick up his own bride?’

No matter how low her emotional intelligence, she certainly wouldn’t ask that out loud. Xu Su gave her older cousin a faint smile, looking for all the world like a shy high school student.

Li Tingting, however, had a flash of amazement in her eyes when she saw her cousin get in. She immediately took Xu Su’s arm warmly and started making small talk.

"My mom was right. Our Susu has really blossomed into a beautiful young woman."

Li Tingting reached out and touched Xu Su’s long, loose hair, sighing in admiration. "The last time I saw you, you were still in elementary school. In the blink of an eye, you’re already taller than me. By the way, Susu, you’re in high school in Chang City, right? How old are you this year?"

Li Tingting strongly resembled her mother, and Xu Su had deep feelings for her Aunt Chen Shumei—even deeper than the feelings she had for her own biological mother, Chen Shulan.

Because of this, she didn’t feel any distance from this older cousin who looked so much like her aunt.

Not rejecting the friendly gesture, Xu Su answered obediently, "Eighteen. My senior year starts tomorrow."

"It starts tomorrow? Then you must have barely had any summer vacation."

"We got three days off in total."

"That’s way too short. A magnet school for you," Li Tingting tutted, turning her head to look at her husband’s cousin. "Lingling, you’re in high school too, right? When do your classes start?"

"I’ve already finished my college entrance exams." The bridesmaid named Lingling didn’t seem very talkative. After that simple reply, she fell silent.

The once cheerful atmosphere grew a little stiff. Xu Su glanced at her cousin out of the corner of her eye.

Compared to other girls her age from the village, Li Tingting was dressed more fashionably and had fairer skin. She looked like a capable and sharp woman.

She wore a light pink dress, and a slight baby bump was faintly visible.

Noticing Xu Su’s gaze, Li Tingting placed a hand on her stomach and smiled gently. "Almost four months. We wanted to have the wedding before my belly gets too big."

Ah...

Xu Su nodded, unsure of what to say next.

’In her previous life, she had lived to be thirty without ever planning to have children. Maternal love was something she had never received, so naturally, she didn’t have any to give...’

’Besides, Xu Su had never once considered having a child for Zhou Mochen...’

’In her past life, Zhou Mochen had taken advantage of her desperation. To raise money for Grandma Xu’s medical treatment, she sold herself for two hundred thousand yuan. And her own parents, Chen Shulan and Xu Weiping, were perfectly happy to see it happen.’

’The very day she received the two hundred thousand, Xu Su moved into Zhou Mochen’s home. The man had never shown much self-control around her. After going to such lengths to obtain her, he didn’t hesitate for a moment and devoured her that very night.’

’She still remembered how it felt then. It was utterly disgusting. She was disgusted by Zhou Mochen, disgusted by herself, and disgusted by her own parents.’

’She saw Zhou Mochen as nothing but a beast in gentleman’s clothing and assumed he’d used his money on countless girls before her. That perception wasn’t completely overturned until after her rebirth, when she learned he had never so much as held another girl’s hand.’

’She was also disgusted with herself for becoming the very type of person she had once despised most. The label of "kept mistress" had once pushed Xu Su to the brink of collapse.’

’Having taken Zhou Mochen’s money and promised to stay by his side for three years, Xu Su couldn’t escape. The only thing she could do was refuse to become like the mistresses in TV dramas, who did everything to please their patrons and curry favor.’ 𝙛𝒓𝓮𝒆𝔀𝒆𝙗𝓷𝒐𝙫𝒆𝙡.𝒄𝓸𝓶

’In the beginning, Xu Su wouldn’t even give him a change of expression. She was unresponsive to both kindness and threats, sitting alone in her room all day without saying a word. The memories of that period were so suffocating that for many years after, she refused to think about them.’

’It wasn’t until Zhou Mochen agreed to let her live on campus when she started her freshman year of college that she finally began to come back to life.’

’As for when she discovered he liked her?’

’Zhou Mochen was truly good at hiding his feelings. Of course, it also had to do with Xu Su’s own lack of romantic experience and the fact that she never paid any attention to his actions.’

’But looking back now, the details hidden in their daily lives were full of clues.’

’She was supposed to be the one pleasing her patron... but it seemed that all those years, it had been Zhou Mochen trying to win her affection, in every possible way.’

’...I’m thinking too much...’ Xu Su’s eyelashes trembled, and a faint blush inexplicably appeared on her face.

’She remembered when she first got together with Zhou Mochen, she had been disgusted and wary of him from the bottom of her heart. She never trusted his methods of contraception. No matter how careful he was, she would always secretly take the morning-after pill afterward just to be safe.’

’That was, until he caught her taking the pill one time. It was the first time she saw Zhou Mochen rip away his gentle facade. The man who usually seemed so good-tempered and rarely scowled was so furious his face turned ashen as he kicked a glass coffee table to pieces.’

’But even in such a rage, when he saw shards of glass flying toward her bare feet, his first instinct was still to grab her and pull her away from the danger.’

’He dragged Xu Su to the hospital that very day, asking the doctor to give her a thorough check-up to see if taking the pill so frequently had affected her health.’

’As for Zhou Mochen himself, he went and got a vasectomy.’

’That’s right. Zhou Mochen had himself sterilized.’

’He didn’t even hesitate. The moment he learned that Xu Su wouldn’t trust any form of birth control besides the pill, he got a vasectomy that same day.’

’It was only after seeing his surgical report that day that Xu Su finally understood. To Zhou Mochen, she was definitely not just a rich boy’s plaything.’

’What kind of man, while keeping a mistress, would worry that the morning-after pill was bad for her health and turn around and get himself sterilized...?’

Thinking of everything from her past life, Xu Su couldn’t help but press a hand to her forehead. The suffocating pressure from before was gone, replaced by an indescribable ache.

Zhou Mochen had never been stingy with his love for Xu Su.

But now, all that love had become the weapon that would destroy him.

If Xu Su couldn’t return to him, the thirty-five-year-old Zhou Mochen would truly be destroyed.