Infinity Is My Affinity?!?-Chapter 92: Is This Really My Nature?

Two tree-covered mountains sat at the far end of the street, squeezing the spirit moss lit cave entrance of the Goblin’s Nest between their bases.

While a wide dirt road stretched straight out from that cave, passing a massive Adventurer’s Guild branch that dominated the entire right side of the path.

The left side of the road lined up like a highly convenient shopping strip, starting with a small Shrine of Amaterasu sitting closest to the dungeon.

Then came a cramped Potions and Gear shop huddled a few feet from the shrine, leaking the smell of dry herbs into the air before giving way to a two-story mix of a Tavern and an Inn practically vibrating with drunken cheers.

A heavy stone blockhouse for the Stationed Knights anchored the very front of the camp, casting a long, thick shadow down the dirt entrance path.

And I was currently hiding inside that shadow.

I sat under a massive tree, pulling my knees up tight against my chest and my chin resting on my kneecaps, digging my fingernails into my blood-stained pants as another loud, carefree cheer from the tavern drifted over to me.

The reality of the fact that I had just ordered Peko to kill Luger and some completely random guy made my chest ache in way I couldn’t quite comprehend, nor could I put into words.

[This isn’t self-defense anymore... This just cold-blooded double homicide]

I let out a shaky breath, closing my eyes, trying to figure out how the hell I crossed that line so easily.

To be frank, I... was just scared.

When Peko told me Entropy was some international terror outfit... I panicked and took the easiest way out I could see.

There’s already an international organization after us, those Pantheon guya.

And I’m walking a tightrope with the General, not to mention almost every adventurer in the city hates me for disrespecting their Chief, and now I got fantasy Illuminati?

I’m making new enemies almost every day.

There was no way I could handle a doomsday cult on top of everything else.

So, in my desperation, I strangled my morals, shut off my feelings, and did what I thought I had to do.

But is that justification enough?

Is that my true nature coming out? Have I always been like this deep down? Just a scheming, lying bastard who won’t hesitate to throw others under the bus to save his own skin?

I hope not. I really, really hope not.

But whatever my feelings on the matter, or my reasons, that fact of the matter is, I did what I did, and I won’t turn my eyes from it.

I just gotta take it... carry it... learn from it.

And most importantly, make sure it doesn’t become my nature.

Come to think of it, the whole thing happened because I was weak.

If I had the power... a few more levels... just enough mana to actually use my magic to its potential... I wouldn’t have done this.

Yeah... Yeah, that’s right. If I don’t want to do what I just did... I gotta be strong enough to not to need to do it

But what if I’m not? What if something comes up that my strength can’t handle?

Do I go back to doing what I just did?

No.

But that would mean risking the lives of my fold and my own...

A shaky, trembling breath escaped me as I buried my face in my hands, teeth gritted and eyes shut tight.

[I don’t know what to do...]

-Ding!

{Might I suggest you prepare?

The life you wish to live is the most expensive way to live a life... And the cost is strength.

For the ones that are weak, it demands sacrifice.

So I advise you walk into that dungeon first thing in the morning and get strong.}

My head turned toward that glowing cave at the end of the long street, but I couldn’t help the thought slipping out.

"What if this is just my nature?" I whispered. "Even with power... what if nothing changes?"

-Ding!

{Only time will tell. But that little hog’s bite mark on your leg is proof enough for now that it isn’t the case.

But, warning Host: your infinity makes you more powerful than anyone else on the same tier. So I advise against moving to a tier whose power you are not mature enough to handle.

The potential for devastation you carry is the same, if not more, than Arlen Hale.}

I couldn’t help but chuckle at the System’s little pep talk.

It clearly wanted to help me, but it was also terrified that I might get too strong, too fast, and just casually doom the world like its previous host.

But still, I felt the warmth. The System was clearly traumatized by the guy, the level of power he achieved, and what he did with it.

"You’re right..." I said, wiping a bit of dried blood off my cheek. "I gotta get stronger. Strong enough that I won’t need to make that decision ever again. Strong enough that I can live by my ideals and the life I want. I don’t have to be the absolute strongest... I gotta be strong enough."

-Ding!

{The most surefire way to achieve that life is to complete The Journey and defeat the Demon God.}

I snorted followed by a real smile that finally broke through. "The life I want is not a destination or an ending. It’s that classic Isekai adventure... full of colors and those stupid tropes."

-Ding!

{Then I suggest you aim to reach level 20. And place all your stat points into MP. Taking into account your infinite MP regen, 100 MP would allow you to use your current magic to its potential.}

"It’s settled then," I said, preparing to finally stand up. "Let’s head to the dungeon and get to it."

-Ding!

{Ill-advised. You are exhausted, mentally and physically.

And you have unlocked an achievement. It happened in that clearing. I took the liberty to silence the notification as you were not in the right state of mind.}

I froze halfway up. "Okay... what achievement is it?"

-Ding!

{Achievement Unlocked!

First Blood.

Rewards:

Magic Purchase Token (Epic) x 1.}

"Yeah... good thing you silenced it," I sighed, feeling the weight what happened crashing right back onto my shoulders. "And you’re right. Gotta... sort stuff out. Can’t lose focus in that dungeon."

Just as I finally pushed myself up off the dirt, a harsh yellow light from a lantern suddenly washed over my face, blinding me while a rough voice barked from the shadows.

"Who’s there?"

I squinted, holding a hand up to block the glare, and saw a stationed Knight standing a few feet away, his sword already drawn and pointed right at me.

"Friendly!" I quickly declared, keeping my hands empty and visible. After all, I was still covered head-to-toe in dried gore.

[I probably look like some newly spawned demon to him...]

"Identify yourself!" the Knight ordered, his tone leaving zero room for argument.

I slowly dug into my back pocket and pulled out my Adventurer’s card before pushing in a bit of mana into it, making sure he could clearly see the runic green light it emitted to prove it was legit.

I was sure he saw the glow when he seathed his back before gesturing me to toss the card towards him.

And I did just that.

He caught it with his free hand and brought it up to the lantern.

And the suspicion on his face vanished in less than a second, replaced by pure, wide-eyed shock the moment he read the six circuits and three affinities etched into it.

When he looked back up at me, his tone took on a much softer, respectful edge.

"What happened?" he asked, looking at the absolute state of my clothes.

I couldn’t help but let loose a tired, lopsided grin as I grabbed the strap of my shotgun.

"You know how it is," I sighed. "Just a minor disagreement with the local wildlife. Point me toward a bath, will you?"