I'm an Infinite Regressor, But I've Got Stories to Tell-Chapter 274

Chapter 274

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The Counselor III

There was a time when TV programs struggled to capture the attention of dopamine-hungry viewers. A figure who appeared in one such program left a timeless quote, years before the VTuber boom swept the world:

"Do you think I played the game because I wanted to? The people are inside the game!"

Indeed. People lived within the screen, and friends existed only on the internet. Those who couldn’t comprehend this undeniable truth were nothing but outdated relics of a bygone era.

Especially for someone like me, who had lived for thousands of years, it was imperative to stay on top of the daily comings and goings of trends.

“Therefore, I am not addicted. Addicted, you say? Preposterous! It is nothing more than a process of honing myself by using Dok-seo’s side stories as a whetstone.”

[Are you being serious?] the Saintess whispered gloomily through her Telepathy.

I felt a sudden pang in my chest, but I did not let it show. Today, I planned to enjoy some small talk with the Saintess from the 267th cycle all day long. Could I really abandon a schedule I had prepared days in advance?

“Saintess, please. Look closely. Right here, the person sitting in front of me may appear like Oh Dok-seo through the physical eye, but through the eyes of the heart... Ta-da!”

“You seem to be having a Telepathic conversation.” The Saintess of the 267th cycle, who wore Oh Dok-seo’s face through Side Story Creation, gave a faint smile. “Nice to meet you, the future me.”

[......]

“Addressing myself is rather hard. For convenience, may I call myself senior, while addressing you as junior?”

[...This really isn’t okay.]

Faint emotion crept into her Telepathy, and to my surprise, I realized she seemed slightly angry. It was rare for the Saintess, who spent her entire life priding herself on her emotionless, expressionless demeanor to stoop to such a reaction.

[I exist here. The person sending Telepathic messages to you in real time is none other than the real me, located in Seoul, Yongsan.]

[The person you have been speaking with for the past week, Mr. Undertaker, is nothing but an illusion implemented through data by an Outer God.]

“But, Saintess...”

[Yes?]

“Yes?”

Both the true Saintess and Dok-seo Saintess answered simultaneously.

Then, something astonishing happened.

[......, ......]

The Saintess didn’t add another word, but an ominous aura of silence carried over through her Telepathy. To put it bluntly, I felt her rage.

I was taken aback. Unless something truly dangerous was occurring, the goosebumps on the back of my neck (my sixth sense) wouldn’t usually tingle like this.

“Ah, hmm,” I stammered. “If this makes you uncomfortable, I’ll use this tool instead.”

For such moments, I had commissioned Ah-ryeon to prepare a special illustration.

It was a portrait of the Saintess!

I carefully cut out the portrait to make a mask. Then, I placed it on Oh Dok-seo’s head and used a marker to write “267” on the forehead.

Perfect!

“How about this? Now, there’s absolutely no risk of confusing the original Saintess and the 267th cycle Saintess.”

[Mr. Undertaker... Am I being mocked right now?]

Huh? For some reason, the rage deepened.

“Mr. Undertaker, you understand, ” Dok-seo Saintess, now equipped with a nameplate, said calmly. “This cycle’s version of me hasn’t even lived for a thousand years yet. Therefore, I may not have overcome the uniqueness of the self. When one faces a doppelganger of themselves, it’s only natural to respond with hostility rather than understanding. It’s an extremely common psychological phenomenon.”

“As expected, Saintess. Wisdom flows from your every word.”

“It’s only what I learned secondhand from you, Mr. Undertaker. You flatter me.”

Dok-seo Saintess patted me on the shoulder. Then she whispered words so kind, they were almost tear-inducing.

“You’ve really endured a lot, Mr. Undertaker. To think I struggled so much with just two millennia... Imagining the hell you’ve walked through makes me shudder. If speaking with me gives you any encouragement, I’ll join you in conversation as much as you like. If you’re happy, then I’m happy too.”

This couldn’t be real.

I was moved. Could the Saintess be an angel? Then again, she was always more than just human.

[Indeed,] the true Saintess muttered through Telepathy. [So this is what others perceive me to be like. I’ve learned something. It was quite an educational experience. In exchange, I shall prepare an excellent lesson for you, Undertaker.]

“An excellent lesson?”

The Saintess did not respond. She was an Awakener who could cut off communications at will.

The next day, in the depths of the Inunaki Tunnel where I’d built a personal hideout solely for enjoying Dok-seo’s side stories, an unexpected group burst in.

“G-Guild Leader!”

The door trembled violently with a great bang, bang, bang!

“I-I heard from the Constellations! They said you put an illustrated mask on Dok-seo on and giggled with a previous version of me?!”

“Teacher! Do you know who my twin sister was supposed to be before she was erased from existence while fighting Anomalies?!”

“Oppa, I’m really disappointed.”

“And I told Do-hwa about this, too! She said she’s quitting and returning to her hometown because of it...!”

“Gross.”

“Why are you hanging out with a side story version of my nonexistent twin sister?! Teacher! Teacher! There’s only one Cheon Yo-hwa!”

“Hehe. I also told Dang Seo-rin. She’s such an outsider she didn’t even know about regression stuff, so I explained everything except that! I did a good job, right?”

“I even posted it on SG Net.”

“I mobilized 31 accounts and made it trend! Haha. I’m still manipulating it right now... You must be watching, right, Guild Leader? You’re so popular.”

“Teacher! I’m your only student! I’m an only child! Wake up, Teacher!”

“......”

Moral of the day:

New novel 𝓬hapters are published on freёwebnoѵel.com.

If you make the Saintess angry, you risk being socially buried. Proceed with caution.

REAPER SCANS

Translator: ZERO_SUGAR

Editor: echo

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“Your Excellency. May I ask why you are kneeling outside Commander Noh Do-hwa’s office with both hands raised?”

“If I don’t, Commander Noh Do-hwa said she’d really submit her resignation and leave...”

“Ah.”

Ji-won glanced back and forth between me and Dok-seo. Then she lowered her head and whispered quietly into my ear, “If you desire rebellion, please give the order immediately, Your Excellency. Loyal members, including myself, are stationed everywhere, ready to reclaim the National Road Management Corps from Commander Noh Do-hwa’s clutches.”

“Don’t. You’ll get us all killed.”

“Understood.”

Ji-won marched away.

In the end, the commotion settled as nothing more than a week-long incident. However, considering that even someone like me fell so easily into such a spiral, it was undeniable that Dok-seo’s Side Story Creation possessed a terrifying level of power.

“I think you must’ve been more exhausted than you realized, mister,” was Dok-seo’s common on the matter.

“Exhausted? Me?”

“Yes. You always treat me the same, whether I’m from the 500th cycle or the 600th cycle. But in reality, there are subtle differences between each version, aren’t there?”

She massaged her arm, muttering ouch and ow under her breath. She had just finished serving the 24-hour penalty imposed by Commander Noh Do-hwa.

“You act so we never notice any disconnect, but at the end of the day, you’re still human. Sometimes, don’t you want to talk to a comrade from the 500th cycle instead of the one from the 600th?”

“That’s...”

“Sometimes. Just sometimes. I’m not saying always. But even occasional feelings accumulate when you’ve lived thousands of years, right?” Dok-seo grinned mischievously and said, “So if you ever have worries you can’t share with anyone, just come find me. I’ll use Side Story Creation to embody someone appropriate and chat with you until you’re completely satisfied.”

“......”

“Ah, wait. No, that’s not quite right.”

She propped her chin on her hand, contemplating.

“It’s strange, though,” she mused eventually. “Whether it’s the Saintess or Cheon Yo-hwa from previous cycles, everyone seems to enjoy talking to you.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. I can faintly feel the emotions they experienced, so I know. You’re really lucky, you know? Their feelings are so sincere.” Dok-seo’s playful tone softened as she gazed somewhere far away. “Affection. Regret. Joy. Worry. Yearning. Acceptance. Consideration. Concern... A mixture of emotions so tangled it made my head spin.”

“......”

“It was fascinating, really. They’re someone else’s emotions, but they felt like my own. From a writer’s perspective, it was an amazing experience.”

It seemed Dok-seo had her own share of enjoyment.

Well, it was a miraculous experience, to live through someone else’s heart.

“Oh, right, mister. So I was thinking... Can I add side stories to my novels about you?”

“Hmm?”

“You know, side stories. Like writing from ‘another character’s perspective.’ I mean, it feels like a waste to use this ability just to play the role of your personal counselor.”

“Well, you’re both the writer and the editor, so if it motivates you, I don’t see why not.”

“Yay! But let’s not overdo it. Hmm... How about this?” Dok-seo grinned widely. “For every 100 chapters written from your perspective, I’ll write one side story. In exchange, since it’s a side story, I’ll post it without you reviewing it. Is that okay?”

“One hundred chapters for one side story, huh...?” I trailed off.

I wasn’t all that concerned by it, but Dok-seo seemed very particular about this ratio.

“Sure. Do whatever you like.”

“Yay! Thanks, mister! You won’t regret it!”

Yet even now, at chapter 274, Oh Dok-seo still hadn’t written a single proper side story. Technically, she already had the rights to two side stories, purely based on the numbers.

I still didn’t know what kind of side story she wanted to write.

There is an epilogue.

Much later, in another cycle, I made a peculiar request to Dok-seo.

“Can you embody me from the 5th cycle, just once?”

Dok-seo agreed readily.

To embody someone, a side story must first be written. However, for the 10th cycle version of myself, no such writing preparation was needed. She had already written it.

“...Are you seriously claiming to be me?”

And so, I found myself face-to-face with the 10th cycle version of the Undertaker, wearing Oh Dok-seo’s face—Dok-seo Undertaker.

“Yes, kiddo. For the record, it’s the 700th cycle now.”

“What?” Dok-seo Undertaker’s face twisted into a grimace. “Seven hundred? You’ve looped seven hundred times and still haven’t succeeded? Are you even human? How incompetent do you have to be—”

“Here’s a list of all the absurd Anomalies you’ll have to slay in the future.”

At first, Dok-seo Undertaker regarded me with nothing but scorn. But as I recited a list of horrors and their descriptions, his expression gradually darkened.

Being exposed to spoilers about one’s own life was bad enough. If said life resembled a tragedy, it was much worse.

“Why are you even telling me this?” he demanded in the end. “To make me despair? To impress me? Either way, it confirms you’re just as immature as I am.”

He really was insufferable. It seemed that in the early cycles, I was truly a twisted piece of work.

“Well, no.”

“Then what is it?”

“I was simply curious.” I set a cup of café au lait on the table with a soft thud. “Since I have Complete Memory, I can be certain myself. But I wanted to hear it directly from you, too.”

“Hear what?”

“You’re my childhood self, the youth of a regressor. So tell me. From your perspective, do you think I’ve grown into an adult I can be proud of?”

Dok-seo Undertaker fell silent. He remained quiet for a long time, then finally picked up the coffee cup and took a sip.

“The coffee is good.”

I waited for more, but to my surprise, Dok-seo Undertaker said nothing else. He severed the possession immediately after that.

He had run away.

“Huh,” I huffed with an incredulous chuckle. Then I picked up the half-drunk café au lait he left behind and downed it.

It tasted exceptionally special.