Ihoujin, Dungeon ni Moguru-Chapter 161: The Battle Against Pride IV

「I can’t accept this!」

Ignoring the shouting Arcane, I stabbed the slime that was restraining Rana.

It reverted back to water and I checked Rana's wounds.

「Dear, I told you I'm fine」

「No, it might have left a scar」

I stared so closely at Rana's soaking wet collarbone that I could practically lick it and felt every inch of it. As a matter of fact, I was holding myself back from licking it.

However, I need the scientific community to explain to me why women look so sexy when they're wet.

「I told you, I'm really fine」

Next was her abdomen, and as a cold abdomen wasn't good for her, I rubbed and rubbed it all the way down to her lower abdomen.

「Save this kind of stuff for later」

「Right~」

Alright, there's no scarring.

「Isn't it weird?! How can you say they've won when they took advantage of us being distracted when someone from the Adventurers' Guild intervened?!」

「Arcane-sama, let me just say one thing」

Evetta-san still had Nanassy's head in her grasp and was keeping her restrained. As for Nanassy, she obeyed Arcane's orders and didn't resist, so she was just hanging in mid-air by her head.

It was a very surreal scene. 𝒇𝒓eewe𝒃𝑛𝒐𝘃𝒆𝚕.co𝘮

「First of all, a surprise attack is not cowardly. It's Souya's fault for not realizing the reason why the Guild President had made it a 3-on-3 match. It's Souya's fault for being careless and letting his guard down. It's Souya's fault for being lax because the opponents are of lower rank. However, the match was already decided when they were all restrained. Tormenting them at that point is not what adventurers do」

She was saying my name so much that it gave me a weird feeling.

「B, but as you saw, they broke free of the Blobs' restraints……」

「That was nothing but a desperate wager. If you hadn't hurt his wife, he would have admitted defeat and the match would have been over」

「Ur, urghhh」

Indeed, I was about to admit defeat, but things had changed the moment Ea escaped. It wasn't a match we could lose at that point.

But, well………

「Evetta-san, I don’t accept this either」

Yeah, I can't accept it.

「Eh, Souya, what are you saying?」

「I request a rematch, this time a duel between leaders」

Arcane's eyes lit up.

He's probably thinking that there's still a chance for him to win.

「Rana, hold this for me」

I handed Agathion and Zamonglass' sword to Rana.

「Ea, help me hold this. Be careful not to touch its cutting edge. It's frighteningly sharp」

I drew the katana from my hip and handed the drawn katana to Ea.

「Alright, bring it. You can use your weapons if you want」

「Don't mess with me!」

Arcane unhooked his sword and sheath from his belt and threw it aside along with his shield. He still had his armor on, so it wasn't exactly even, but it was close enough.

「The match will be a one-on-one fight. If you lose the fight, you lose. If you kill your opponent, you lose. Is that clear?」

「I can't ask for more!」

Arcane bellowed. He struck a rather gallant figure.

I gave my party members a look and they moved a distance back.

「Onii-chan! Beat him black and blue!」

「Dear! Wipe the floor with him!」

The sisters' cheers of support were a tad violent.

「Hah, I'll have you know, this Arcane-sama is good at fighting bare-handed!」

Arcane closed in on me with a boxing stance that looked pretty polished.

But………

「I never said anything about fighting bare-handed though」

………I pulled out the scabbard of my katana and took a full swing.

By the way, Makina made this scabbard out of titanium. Despite the various mechanisms added to it, it's light, sturdy, and it hurts like hell when you get hit by it.

「Bofukuu!」

A home-run to the face.

And Arcane crumpled to the ground in an unconscious heap.

「Alright, I’ve won」

And yet, I heard no cheers

All around me, there was nothing but silence.

「Onii-chan, that feels wrong somehow」

「Dear………………no, it’s nothing」

The sisters were visibly put off.

「Eh……but I never said anything about fighting bare-handed……」

「You see, Onii-chan, in a lot of ways, it's important to read the mood, you know?」

「Dear………………………………no, it’s nothing」

The sisters were looking at me coldly with eyes like those of a Tibetan sand fox.

「Well, a win is a win. With this, it's decided that I will be hired by Seeker Brigade. Is that clear, members of Argancia?」

Evetta, who had a cold expression on her face to begin with, moved things along.

「Understood. I'll let Arcane know when he wakes up」

When Evetta-san released her, Nanassy walked over to Arcane and laid down next to him like nothing was wrong.

I don't get these two people.

Now that it was over, we decided to quickly leave.

「Dear, let's go take a bath」

「Good idea, Onee-chan. I'm all wet and I want to dry my clothes」

The sisters entered the portal first and went to the bathhouse on the 2nd floor.

I was about to follow them, when………

「Souya, you're so thoughtful」

「Huh?」

………Evetta-san said something unexpected to me.

「If he had lost in a fair fight, Arcane-sama would have had no excuse. But by purposely using an underhanded method, you gave his heart a way out. That was wonderfully thoughtful of you」

「What? That’s not why I did that though」

「Eh?」

She's off by a mile.

「I simply used the scabbard because I didn't want my hands to hurt」

It’s said that the hand that hits suffers more pain than it inflicts. And in reality, punching someone hurts.

That's why I used the scabbard.

「………………Good work today. Tomorrow, please come see me at the reception desk when you're free. We'll have a meeting to discuss the upcoming adventure」

She changed the subject.

I asked Evetta-san to help me inform Otou-san and the others that we had won and that they were free to go.

I was also drenched because of the slime, so I decided to warm myself up in the baths on the 2nd floor. I could get my clothes and equipment cleaned there as well.

This was all provided free of charge to adventurers.

I joined the sisters, who were waiting for me, and talked to the Guild employees in the bathhouse to borrow some available tubs.

The sisters took the tubs on either side of mine.

After making sure that the list of equipment to be checked in for cleaning and the copy of the list they gave in return matched, I checked in the equipment and got a ticket.

The Guild employees were used to this, so they quickly closed the cloth partitions when I started to take off my clothes. I quickly took off all my clothes, put them in a basket, and handed it to them under the cloth partition.

Finally, it was time to get into the bathtub.

Enduring the coldness of ceramic, I pulled the string, releasing hot water from a pipe above. I soaked myself in the medicinal hot water, which had a unique smell, and relaxed.

「Ahhhh」

I lowered my body until the hot water was up to my shoulders.

The heat of the water seeped in and loosened up my muscles. The tension and intense emotions from the fight drained away, and I felt as if my soul was being purified.

I'm really glad that the alternate world has baths.

If I had ended up in the kind of medieval fantasy setting often seen in games, I don't know what I would have had to do to get a decent bath.

Still......

I'm glad that we're all safe and sound in the end, but Rana got hurt today.

It was only a relatively minor wound, and the injuries she gets during training are much more severe, but I can't forgive myself for letting a lapse in my own judgment result in her getting wounded.

Complacency and especially underestimating my opponents will be a strict no-no from now on.

『Even the smallest of people can cause harm』

I'll use those words as a reminder to myself going forward.

I probably won't be able to control myself next time. I’ll likely tear any bastard who hurts her to pieces. Even if it means sullying my own pride.

And then……

I saw one of the cloth partitions being lifted up out of the corner of my eye. That was followed by the sound of bare feet running across the cobblestones.

A peachy booty grazed the tip of my nose, and water splashed into the air.

「Mmmmm」

She reached her arms above her head and stretched, leaning back against my chest.

Her wet hair brushed my cheek.

My hand went naturally to her abdomen.

「Dear, I told you already, I’m fine」

I started rubbing her abdomen again.

Her abs are just right. Not too hard, not too soft, just the right kind of feel to make me want to open my mouth wide and take a bite.

「Well, just to be sure」

Next was her collarbone, and I used not only my sense of touch but also sight.

You have a nice figure, madam.

I left the two hemispheres floating in the water for later enjoyment and checked the area around her collarbone thoroughly by applying pressure with my fingers.

If my hand slipped and encroached onto the territory of one of the hemispheres, I'm sure she'll forgive me with a smile.

「Fuuu」

This is bliss. Err, no problems, I meant.

「Are you satisfied now?」

「For the most part」

Come to think of it, I’ve never realized how alluring the collarbone can be. I'm a guy after all. My eyes had always been drawn first to the two fascinating things, so I guess it can't be helped.

「Mmm, ahem」

Rana rolled her shoulders and cleared her throat.

「?」

For some reason, she looked like she still wanted me to touch her some more.

「There's no wound, but there's this strange ache. ………Aaah, if only there was a good man around who would, umm, give me a good massage at a time like this………」

No, aren't I the only person around?

Oh, could this be………

「Your shoulders are really stiff, madam」

I massaged Rana's shoulders. I couldn't put much strength into the massage because she was so close to me, but she seemed to enjoy it.

She put both feet up on the edge of the tub.

If you move now, in a lot of ways………well.

「I see? Dear, I've learned something today. Women get pampered if they do this」

「Y, yeah. That's right」

What are you saying after all this time?

Come to think of it, we had thrown a lot of the usual processes and feelings out the window to get married. Looking back, I still can't believe Rana married a man like me.

Now, we're close enough to share a bathtub, but back when we still lived at the camp, my days had been fraught with stress and nervousness.

I was afraid that if I so much as laid a fingertip on her, she would see me as a pervert and reject me.

I had treated her like the most fragile of things.

If such a cute and beautiful elf rejected me, I'm confident that I'd be depressed for at least a year.

That's all in the past though.

「By the way, dear, there's something I wanted to ask you」

「What is it?」

I'll answer whatever question you have. After your shoulders, where should I massage next?

「When we're like this, I can feel it against my hip」

「Umm, Rana, please don't ask me about that. I have my own circumstances」

Please don't make me have to put a natural physiological phenomenon into words.

「No, I don't mind it. But I was wondering if you got more excited when there are other people around………」

「No, I don't」

I'd rather it be just the two of us, and I'd like it to be a quiet affair.[1]

「I see. That's a relief. I'll try my best to keep my voice down even more than usual」

Hang on a sec, dear wife. What are you saying?

As if my retort had worked, the cloth partitions on the opposite side were thrown open.

「Excuse me~」

Ea dove in, completely naked.

「What?! Ea! What are you doing?! That's so shameless!」

「I've properly washed my body, so it’s fine, isn’t it? Hey, I'm getting cold. Come on, move in some more」

「What?! Hey!」

She lowered herself into the tub and settled herself down in front of Rana. As could be expected, even a large bathtub like this was too small for three people. It was also bad in a physiological sense to have Rana pressed up against me so tightly.

「Ea! Go back! You're an unmarried woman! How can you expose your bare skin to someone who isn't your husband?」

Rana's anger is perfectly justified.

It's just that………

「Ehh, but I've already taken baths with Onii-chan seven times behind your back, Onee-chan」

Fucー! Didn't you promise to keep it a secret?!

「D?E?A?R?」

The face that Rana slowly turned towards me had the most wonderful smile on it.

Which, in turn, was the scariest thing I had ever seen.

「Rana, let me explain」

「Listen to what I have to say first, Onee-chan」

My attempt to make excuses ignored, the fight between the sisters began.

「I like Onii-chan, so I'm getting married to him. When Onii-chan is done with adventuring, Onee-chan, get a divorce」

『What?!』

At my sister's outrageous comment, Rana and I raised our voices at the same time.

「Ea, how could you say something like that?!」

She's gone too far for me to not scold her.

「That's right! Ea, why do I have to get a divorce?!」

「But Onee-chan, you and Onii-chan have the charm――――――」

My world was flipped upside down.

I was flung out of the tub and landed on the cobblestones, and then the tub fell on me like a lid.

I was trapped in darkness and drowning in the water.

When I finally managed to crawl out of there, I saw the sisters engaged in a naked catfight in front of me.

「Shut your mouth!」

「I won't! You hated it, didn’t you?! You hated it from the start! Then let me take over for you! I came to like him out of my own feelings!」

「If you say another word! I'll sew your mouth shut, even if you're my sister!」

「You think it'd be that easy?!」

This was the first time I had seen the sisters fighting so heatedly.

If it had been a while ago, it would probably have ended with Rana being pinned down. But with the training Rana had undergone, Ea's arm strength was no longer enough to hold her down.

However, Ea pulled off an amazing move.

Knowing that she was no match in terms of strength, she quickly took Rana's back like a snake. She made her sister fall onto her buttocks and then locked her into a submission technique like a spider.

She forced Rana's legs open so that she couldn't get to her feet, wrapped her right arm around Rana's neck, and slid her left arm behind Rana's head and around to her own shoulder.

That was when it hit me.

Ea had been watching MMA videos with great interest. Could it be that she achieved this level of skill just from that?!

「Urg, urghh」

Rana looked to be in agony as her breasts bounced about.

「Onee-chan, I've tested this on Shuna many times, and there's no escaping this technique. I'm going to take you down with this」

「Urghh」

Ea tightened her arms even more.

Hey, Shuna, you've got a lot of explaining to do later. No, that's not it.

「Ea, that's enough!」

I shouted at Ea to try and get her to stop, but.……

「D, dear, please wait」

Rana wagged her finger from side to side in a no-no gesture. If it weren't for the fact that it was two naked sisters fighting each other, she would have struck quite the dependable figure.

「Ea, th, that's some skill. As your elder sister, I must, commend you. However――――――」

Rana disappeared in an instant.

Or rather, I'm sorry, I had to blink because I had been staring at them for too long.

When I opened my eyes.

Rana had locked Ea into the exact same technique.

………………I saw all of my sister.

「What?! N, no way!」

Taken by surprise, Ea was unable to react in time. She tried to escape, but she couldn't match Rana's arm strength.

What I had remembered earlier was the scene of two sisters amicably watching MMA videos together. So, she had seen through what Ea had been thinking, huh? Also, who did Rana practice her moves on? I'm really curious.

「Da, damn, it………………」

Ea flopped unconscious. Her final efforts to break free had been futile.

Lifting her limp sister up, the elder sister said a few words.

「Ea, your strength lacks just one thing. And that's………muscles」

I like the current Rana who’s slightly chubby though.

At any rate, the fight was decided.

Or rather, your naked bodies have blotted out all of my memories of today.

[1] The word I translated as “quiet” can also be “moist/wet”. If you get it, you get it. If you don’t, please don’t ask.

A titanium bat, err, scabbard to the face…… Well, it’s so Souya though. It’s getting really clear that Arcane is one of those “unfortunate in a lot of ways” characters, isn’t he?

It’s the return of the Tibetan sand foxes haha. In case you forgot, here’s what they look like.

The author forgot that they said the tubs were wooden, not ceramic, back in vol 1, I see…rare error, but I guess it could be chalked up to Souya having access to better tubs cuz he’s higher ranked now.

Also, the lines that Souya says with madam in them, they’re sorta “standard lines” that store employees say. Like the stiff shoulders one is probably the most expected line you’d expect a masseuse to say. And it’s not the first time, but he almost says the F-bomb in “English”.

And for those unfamiliar with MMA, the technique used by Ea and Rana is called the rear naked choke. The left picture shows the “hooks in” position where the opponent’s legs are controlled that the author was alluding to, the middle one shows the variant of the rear naked choke used(there are several ways of doing it), and the right one gives you an idea of the kind of position someone trying to fight off a rear naked choke can end up in(and why Souya saw “all of” Ea). (Pics courtesy of liveabout.com, grapplearts.com, and onefc.com)

So, did you enjoy the chapter? Is Souya finally gonna pay for his “two-timing”? I want to say that there are important hints in the stuff Ea blurted out(some of which are worded a bit weirdly to preserve specific meanings), but it literally gets explained next chapter, so what I’ll say instead is, stay tuned!