I Will Be the Greatest Knight-Chapter 237: Affection

For Irene, there was something so unbelievably strange about seeing people who hadn’t been at the battlefield with them the entire time. They seemed so clean and hopeful. Faces not streaked with dirt or monster blood began to feel novel.

She fantasized about taking a bath with sweet-smelling soap and being able to submerge herself completely in warm water. It sounded like a luxury, even though it was something she had once gotten used to.

There were many aspects of her life she realized she took for granted.

Occasionally she was reminded that they were only a couple of short months away from winter. Being cold for months straight as she was before sounded so awful compared to the somewhat warm sleeping conditions she had gotten used to.

If it was for the kingdom, she could do it.

Because of all the dire wolves, by that point, there wasn’t a squire, apprentice, or knight who hadn’t hunted and gotten fur of their own. Only when winter came would they be able to truly test out their hides.

What was the worst about outsiders arriving at the front lines was the looks of sympathy. She could only imagine what they told those who were waiting for news of the war.

A ’monster war’ was what people had been calling it. It felt so strange that they could reduce the most painful and worst months of her entire existence into two small words. It didn’t feel descriptive enough.

At first, it was merely those who were there to deliver messages or supplies who appeared. However, soon a wagon arrived with maids from an eastern township in the duchy. They were there to take Rosalind and Thyrs away since they had regained their strength.

Everyone said that the battlefield wasn’t a suitable place for women.

Irene could only internally roll her eyes at such a comment.

The Chemoian apprentices’ schedules had been temporarily changed that day, which meant Irene and Leif were on the ancient wall first thing late morning rather than at the very end of the day.

Irene’s legs hung over the side of the wall and she watched as Rosalind said goodbye to everyone she had gotten so close to. Particularly, it looked like the apprentice who guarded her received most of her attention.

They were far away from them, but when she saw Rosalind kiss her guard on the cheek after an exchange of a few words, Irene had to divert her gaze and stood up to go to the other side of the wall. That was what they were supposed to be guarding anyway. After all, to see Rosalind leave, Irene was facing away from the Duke’s Tower.

Irene silently mused on whether the girl had some kind of romance with the apprentice. Had they gotten close to one another? Perhaps they had kissed more than merely a peck on the cheek.

The coldness of the battlefield made Irene feel starved for affection. She had never felt that way before in her life.

Even worse, her thoughts led to her husband in her past life. The memories of him had blurred and skewed but she recalled allowing his affection because he had only ever been kind to her. It wasn’t the life she wanted, but she would always respect him for never forcing her to do anything else she didn’t like.

She pushed away those thoughts altogether. What was the use of thinking about something that would never happen in her life?

Leif couldn’t help as he observed the antsy girl.

"Not a fan of affection?" he asked casually.

Irene froze. Had she really been so obvious?

"That sort of affection..." Irene muttered. "What a waste of time. All I can imagine is turning as wounded as Felix. It becomes much easier to accept that my life will never have those sort of experiences."

Leif recalled the conversations they had about her never being interested in marrying someone. Back then, he merely believed she wanted to dedicate her life to knighthood. Now he knew that she likely made that decision because it would be hard for someone like her to get married in the traditional sense.

She would have to have a very particular sort of man to accept her as she was.

He thought that whoever didn’t approve of her was some kind of coward. While she was certainly rough around the edges and undoubtedly scarred, she was still beautiful.

It was Leif’s turn to try and distract himself from his internal dialogue. What had he been thinking to even allow his mind to wander there?

He ran a gloved hand through his shaggy, dirty blonde hair. It had been growing out but he didn’t particularly care to worry about it. The length would be so useful in the winter when they were all freezing cold again. freёwebnoѵel.com

Perhaps they would wind up in another situation where Irene would need someone to keep her warm again.

The apprentice stood up and stalked to the other end of the wall and he looked over the edge, wondering when their shift was over with.

However, Irene couldn’t let go of her thoughts. Leif didn’t realize she was distracting herself as well.

"Have you ever liked someone?" Irene wondered innocently.

He felt defensive but tried to make his tone of voice not reflect that.

"Who has time to like anyone?" he asked her. "I’m just like you. I’ll wind up dedicating my entire life to the knighthood."

Irene found a small comfort in that, and she faintly smiled at his response. It was like his words justified how she had planned her life.

There wasn’t more for them to talk about on that subject so the conversations became far less serious until they were able to finally get off and return to their usual duties. They would undoubtedly be cooking the knights meals for the rest of the day.

However, as they arrived to the cooking area, Irene couldn’t help eavesdropping on what a few Hydrogian apprentices were talking about.

"What did you say?" Irene asked.

"Sir Williamson is said to be the next in line for the Duke of Tenetium," the apprentice explained with a shrug. "He has ties up north."

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