I Should Have Just Died-Chapter 182

Alyssa shook her head so as not to worry at Dania’s reaction. And then she said.

“We have to prepare, too. Some move in the dark, so we must move in the sun.”

“What are you going to do?”

“They said that the Crown Prince and his wife went to the Principality of Seraphina. In the Principality of Seraphina, they will push in their enlisted soldiers. They say they are going to protect the royal family. I have to stop him. Call Edmit, Dania. I’ve finally found something to do.”

“Good.”

Dania looked at Alyssa with piercing eyes. What was it like when she first met Alyssa? She had not yet adapted, and her clumsiness was evident. Besides, her face is wet with tears.

Blinded by it, she blamed Alyssa, but then she revealed her face. Now Alyssa seemed accustomed to giving orders and putting her plans into action. As if she had been living like this.

‘Ah.’

Dania realized that her question was stupid. In the first place, Alyssa was the person who moved people’s hearts with just one novel.

Would it have been easy to write a novel with the destruction of the country in mind in the first place? Alyssa was Clemore, and Clemore steadily erased the traces of the royal family so that the people could become self-reliant.

No… no.

Clemore was Alyssa.

All of the plans and ideas that Clemore had made and thoughts came from Alyssa, so it’s no wonder she’s familiar now.

“…I’ll send someone to Sir Edmit.”

“We have to stop the enlisted soldiers of the Principality of Seraphina from entering. Their purpose is not to protect the royal family but to devour this country.”

“Okay. And what else can I do to help?”

Alyssa rolled her eyes.

There was another area that needed Dania’s help.

“… Letter…. Help me write a letter.”

“..Huh?”

Alyssa let out a light sigh.

“I don’t know how to write the letter. It seems like I’m writing the same thing… Strangely, Seidrick uses a variety of content. I also have to send a reply soon….”

Alyssa muttered.

Dania, who looked at her blankly, burst into laughter. Looking at that figure, it’s like seeing the clumsy Alyssa at first. With her cheeks inflated, she lowered her eyes in concern.

“Don’t laugh….”

Dania laughed for a long time.

“What. Did you think about something like that? You can just write down what happened in detail.”

“… .·You must have written a letter before. No one has ever waited for my letter.”

“Ah….”

There it is again, the sadness.

Dania scratched the nape of her neck.

As Alyssa is so stubborn, her unhappy past comes back repeatedly. Alyssa seemed to have been born noble from the beginning. As a result, she doesn’t get used to revealing her weaknesses often.

Dania patted Alyssa on the shoulder.

“You can learn to write letters.”

“I am confident in learning. But this is….”

Alyssa let out a sigh again.

On this emotional side, Alyssa was weak. How to be loved, how to love. She was not good at that. Alyssa said, quite frankly, that she was confident in giving, but she was not good at expressing all her emotions.

All she felt was that she loved Sid.

She thinks she should instead leave, and she chooses to let him go rather than love him.

Is it only love?

Alyssa was also clumsy in showing her sorrow and pain.

She had to learn to deal with it alone, and she learned to give up rather than expect.

She was completely alone, and the only person with whom she could communicate her feelings was Sasha.

As a result, Alyssa kept her feelings inside her rather than sharing her feelings with others.

But, love is something to give and receive to each other.

That’s communication.

Alyssa laughed bitterly.

“I’m having a hard time.”

She didn’t fully understand Seidrick. However, just because she stayed with him, she knew she wanted to understand Seidrick.

Even if she left, she didn’t want to leave any regrets.

To do that, she has to go through the process of communicating with Seidrick….

Alyssa did not know what to talk about and what she had to accept.

She wished Seidrick was not sad and not sick.

She hoped he would get well soon and come back and that he was eating well……

It’s better if he doesn’t skip the medicine.

However, that was something she had already written in a letter she had sent before.

“…you write novels.”

Dania said playfully.

“I think novels and letters are so different. I really don’t know what to write.”

“I’ll teach you. Once I sent someone to Sir Edmit. Alyssa, it’s not difficult at all. You’re a good learner.”

Dania comforted Alyssa.

All she has to teach her is how to write letters. Dania comforted her heart. She must first teach how to be loved and loved.

For Alyssa’s happiness.

Want to read more chapters and support us? Please consider becoming a patron to read up to 40 chapters in advance!