I PICKED UP A CHILD IN A DUMPSTER-Chapter 89: The king...

The door itself stood slightly open.

Si Hon gradually slowed to a stop.

Above him, the stream chat exploded instantly.

「SAFE ROOM???」

「TREASURE ROOM」

「SYM. YOU MEAN... OR BOSS ROOM (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)」

「BRO DON’T GO IN」

「THAT IS 100% A BOSS ROOM」

Si Hon stared at the doorway, breathing hard as the torch trembled slightly in his hand.

Behind him, the sounds of the cave were changing.

The distant echoes of claws scraping against stone were getting louder, faster— closer. The Munches’ distorted screams bounced wildly through the tunnels, their voices multiplying as they rushed through the maze of corridors.

Too close.

Si Hon swallowed and glanced back over his shoulder.

Far down the tunnel, something moved.

Just for a second.

A shifting mass of black shapes flickering in the darkness.

Then he turned back toward the doorway again.

The opening waited silently in the stone wall, dark and unreadable, like it was watching him right back.

For a brief moment, Si Hon simply stood there between two terrible choices.

Behind him: a pack of screaming monsters closing in.

In front of him: a mysterious ancient door that absolutely looked like the beginning of a horror movie mistake.

He slowly raised the femur bone and pointed it upward at the floating chat windows.

"You know what."

His eyes narrowed.

"If I die..."

He gestured toward them accusingly.

"It’s your fault.... No fuck this shit. IT’S ALL OF Y’ALL FAULT!"

Then he kicked the door open.

***

(Inside — Needed to make the pace smoother)

The door slammed inward with a loud metallic BANG.

Si Hon stumbled a step forward as he rushed inside.

Then he froze.

"...Huh?"

The room in front of him looked nothing like the cave.

Instead of jagged stone walls and damp cave dirt, the chamber beyond the doorway felt... strangely different.

Cleaner...

Not perfectly spotless, but far cleaner than anything Si Hon had seen since walking in here. The floor had been smoothed into flat stone, and the air carried a faint scent— something soft and almost floral that felt completely out of place in a monster-infested cave.

Torches burned quietly along the walls, their flames steady and warm instead of wild and smoky.

The gentle light painted the room in a soft golden glow, revealing furniture that looked carefully arranged rather than abandoned.

In the center of the chamber stood a large bed.

Not a rough survival bed made from furs or wood— but a proper one, wide and neatly made, covered in pale fabric that had somehow survived the years.

Soft cushions rested near the headboard, and a light canopy frame hung above it, thin cloth draping down the sides like some curtains.

It looked less like a dungeon room and more like something out of a princess’s bedroom..

Si Hon blinked slowly.

"ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ... Tf? Why is there a bed here?"

Near the bed stood a tall wooden cabinet with delicate carvings along its doors. Beside it rested a small round table with a single chair pushed neatly underneath, as if someone had been sitting there not long ago.

Even the floor had a rug spread across it— faded pink and cream patterns woven into the fabric, worn but still recognizable.

The entire room gave off a strange atmosphere.

Soft.

Organized.

Almost... girlish.

Si Hon slowly stepped further inside, the torchlight dancing across the walls as his eyes moved from one object to another.

"Did I accidentally break into someone’s bedroom?"

The floating chat above him immediately erupted.

「BRO FOUND THE PRINCESS ROOM」 𝕗𝚛𝚎𝚎𝐰𝗲𝗯𝗻𝚘𝚟𝚎𝗹.𝕔𝐨𝕞

「WHY IS THERE A PINK RUG IN A fucking! Munches LAIR?!!!」

「this is definitely a boss room... trust the source...」

Si Hon scratched the side of his head, looking around the strangely cozy chamber again.

"What kind of lair has interior decorating?"

Then something caught his eye.

Right beside the cabinet, near the far wall of the chamber, something hung from a large iron stand. At first he thought it was just a coat or some old cloth left behind by whoever once lived here.

But the shape was... strange.

Si Hon squinted.

"What?"

He took a few cautious steps closer, raising the torch slightly so the light could reach it.

And then he froze.

"No way."

Hanging from the stand was a massive white costume.

Round.

Fluffy.

With an oversized cartoonish head and two large black eyes stitched onto the front. Beneath them sat a wide, ridiculous smiling mouth that looked way too cheerful for a lair filled with sick brutal monsters.

It looked exactly like—

A mascot.

The stream chat above him exploded instantly.

「WAIT」

「WAIT WAIT WAIT」

「IS THAT...」

「BRO... it’s not just a mascot... wait... you’ll figure it out.」

Si Hon stared at it in disbelief.

The design was unmistakable.

The shape.

The face.

The proportions.

It looked exactly like the creatures chasing him through the tunnels— the Munches.

No...

Looking closer, it resembled something even more specific.

"That thing in the cathedral..."

His eyes widened slightly.

The King of Munches.

Except instead of horrifying flesh, long claws, and glowing eyes— This one was just a costume.

A perfectly clean, fluffy white mascot suit hanging neatly on a stand like someone had taken it off after finishing a shift at an amusement park.

Si Hon slowly lifted the torch and pointed it toward the suit like he was accusing it of something.

"You’re telling me..."

He gestured weakly at the costume.

"The king of those fuckers..."

He paused.

"Is a mascot?"

Right at that moment—

A deafening roar echoed through the cave tunnel outside.

Si Hon’s head snapped toward the doorway.

The Munches were almost there.

His survival instincts immediately kicked in.

"NOPE."

He rushed back toward the entrance and slammed the heavy stone door shut with both hands. The impact echoed through the chamber as he grabbed the thick locking bar attached to the door.

The bar dropped into place.

CLANG.

Si Hon froze.

He looked down at the lock.

"The fuck?"

He tapped the door.

"Isn’t this stone?"

No one answered.

Before he could question it further—

BOOM.

Something slammed against the other side.

The door shook violently.

Another impact followed.

Then several more.

The Munches outside began screeching wildly, their claws scraping across the surface as they tried to break through.

Except—

The scraping didn’t sound like claws on rock.

It sounded like metal.

Si Hon pressed his back against the door, breathing heavily as the chamber trembled slightly with each hit.

Then suddenly—

A voice shouted from outside.

"KING!!! HUMAN IN KING ROOM!!! GET HUMAN!!!"

Si Hon blinked.

"Oh fuck..."

For a brief moment, the chaos stopped.

The only sounds in the chamber were Si Hon’s breathing... and the scratching of monsters outside.

Then slowly, his head turned.

His eyes drifted back toward the mascot suit.

The chat window flickered again.

「BRO」

「PUT IT ON」

「WE HAVE AN IDEA」

Si Hon stared at the messages.

Then he looked at the mascot.

Then back at the messages again.

"Nah."

The chat instantly spammed responses.

「YES」

「DO IT」

「THIS IS 200 IQ」

Si Hon raised the femur bone and pointed it threateningly at the floating windows.

"You people are insane."

Another violent slam shook the door.

Dust fell from the ceiling.

Outside, the monsters screamed louder.

Si Hon slowly looked back toward the mascot suit.

Then toward the door.

Then back at the suit again.

"You know what."

He sighed deeply.

"This is probably the worst idea I’ve ever had."

He walked toward the costume.

Standing in front of it, he examined the oversized mascot head, the fluffy white arms, the ridiculous smile frozen on its face.

"...Yeah. This is definitely the worst idea."

Then—

Clack.

A small sound echoed somewhere in the room.

Si Hon froze.

"The fuck was that?"

He turned his head, scanning the room.

Then he saw it.

On the opposite side of the room, a door had quietly opened.

And standing there—

Was a girl.

She had a towel wrapped around her body and another around her wet hair, like she had just stepped out of a bath. Droplets of water still clung to the ends of her hair as she stood there staring.

Si Hon stared back.

For two full seconds, neither of them moved.

Then—

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

The girl screamed.

The voice was high-pitched.

Very loud.

And extremely familiar.

Si Hon’s eyes widened.

"W-what!?"

Behind the main door—

The scratching stopped.

The pounding against the door stopped too, the chaotic noise outside cutting off so abruptly that the silence felt almost suspicious. The monsters beyond the door fell completely quiet.

For one very awkward second, the entire cave was silent.

Then—

The monsters outside erupted into a maddening crying scream.

"KING!!!"

"KING!!!!!!!"

"KING TRAPPED WITH HUMAN!!!"

Another voice shouted.

"THE STRONG SMART HUMAN!!! KING TRAPPED!!!!!"

Si Hon slowly turned his head toward the mascot suit again.

Then toward the girl.

Then back to the suit.

For a moment, he didn’t say anything.

Instead, he placed one hand on his waist while the other rose to his chin, tapping it thoughtfully as if he were seriously trying to piece together a complicated puzzle.

His eyes moved between the towel-wrapped girl... the fluffy white mascot suit... and the heavy door currently being guarded by screaming monsters outside.

He muttered quietly.

"ಠ⁠,⁠_⁠｣⁠ಠ I feel like I’m missing several very important explanations right now."