I Have Yet to Become a Doll Today-Chapter 845 - : As One Desires

Chapter 845: Chapter 845: As One Desires

Bai Youwei furrowed her brows, “What do you mean?”

The gentleman with a rabbit head smiled, glanced at Shen Mo, and said to Bai Youwei, “You should know what I mean.”

Something flashed through Bai Youwei’s mind, and she immediately understood.

And figured it out.

When she looked at her own legs again, she felt her nerves regain sensation, as if the numbness of the previous moment was just an illusion, or perhaps, a psychological barrier.

What was she afraid of?

...

What was she resisting?

Seeing that she was alright, the gentleman with a rabbit head spoke no further, polite gave a slight bow, and turned to leave.

Shen Mo lifted Bai Youwei onto his back, comforting her, “You should rest up when we get back, I’ll ask Chu Huaijin to find a doctor, to look for healing tools, it will be alright.”

Bai Youwei lay on his broad back, pursed her lips, and kept silent.

Perhaps what she wanted was exactly this outcome? Whether it’s a bond or a burden… in any case, to make the person she desired also unable to leave her.

…

After returning to the headquarters, Bai Youwei sat back in her wheelchair.

She used to sit in her wheelchair even when her legs could walk, so it didn’t attract much attention.

Shen Mo took her back to her room, then left to find Chu Huaijin. Lying alone on her bed, Bai Youwei gazed at the snow-white ceiling, feeling a void inside.

The transient numbness when leaving the maze was real.

For that instant, she truly thought she couldn’t walk.

It was when the Inspector reminded her that she realized, it wasn’t that she couldn’t walk, but that she had developed… a dependency in her heart.

When her legs weren’t good, she always thought that once they healed, she could go anywhere freely.

But after they healed, she didn’t want to go anywhere, like the hands of a clock, going round and round but never leaving the center…

The Doll Game bound Shen Mo and her together.

But this game made separation the norm. Chen Hui lost Teacher Tu, Yan Qingwen lost Lun Ang, Tan Xiao lost Hu Dashan… and many others died, left, and the living initially felt pain and later only numbness.

Perhaps Shen Mo had long been prepared mentally to leave at any time, to leave the last bit of hope to her.

Bai Youwei couldn’t help thinking, if Shen Mo really died in that maze, leaving her alone, how would she live?

Continue to play the game?

Continue to clear stages?

…And then what? Die in the game, or win until the end and become the ultimate victor?

Even if she won, so what?

Maybe some people like to dominate the world, to be the ruler, but for her, there was no joy in that. Without companionship, it was no different from her past days—still eating alone, sleeping alone, watching TV alone, staying alone the entire day…

As Bai Youwei thought and thought, she began to feel scared.

For so many years… it was not easy to feel that life had some pleasure, and what she had was like a handful of crystal glass, ready to shatter at any moment.

She thought a lot, her thoughts were a mess, a chaotic jumble tumbling in her mind.

There was a knock on the door, a couple of thuds.

“Weiwei, may I come in?”

It was Zhu Shu’s voice.

Bai Youwei sat up and directed toward the door, “Come in.”

The door was unlocked. Zhu Shu opened the door and entered, smiling at Bai Youwei and lifting the thermos food container in her hand.

“I’ve made red bean rice balls, do you want to try?”

Bai Youwei smiled, “Sure, I’ll have a taste.”

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Zhu Shu, carrying the food container, found a table, opened it up, and the steaming vapor instantly wafted out, with the fragrance of red beans.

She dished out a bowl and handed it to Bai Youwei, “I made it to my taste, if it’s not sweet enough, I can add more sugar for you.”

“How come you suddenly thought of making these?” Bai Youwei took a taste, squinting her eyes, “Hmm… it’s delicious, the sweetness is just right.”

Zhu Shu laughed and said, “I couldn’t help much usually, and I was idle anyways, so I thought about making some food. I also delivered some to Su Man. I ran into Shen Mo on the way and found out that you had returned from the maze. He was worried you’d be mulling things over by yourself and specifically asked me to come and keep you company.”