I Am Tired Of Being A Hero-Chapter 305: Promise me

Ravi knew that he was letting the ghost of his past affect his present; he had enough sessions with Malik to know that, but he still could not help himself.

He swallowed, shaking his head.

"You didn’t do anything wrong. It is me. You are never around. I feel a little insecure."

Arlen looked even more hurt; his eyes widened and he looked like Ravi had twisted a knife further in.

Ravi’s heart clenched even more, but he did not take back the words that had already left his mouth. He wanted to do his best to be honest with Arlen, and he trusted that his lover would never hurt him no matter how vulnerable the information he surrendered was.

He watched Arlen. Watched as the initial shock faded and Arlen took a second to ruminate over the words that he had just said, and he was immediately heading to Ravi’s side.

"Oh, Ravi." Arlen let out a soft sigh. He moved to lightly cup the back of Ravi’s head, letting him lean against his shoulder. Arlen enclosed him in a very private world of two.

That sweet scent of vanilla danced on Ravi’s nose.

Ravi breathed deeply, and as if collapsing, he rested his head on Arlen’s shoulders.

Once he had felt like he was drifting, but now, Ravi had finally docked. No matter what was going on, the safety and stability that these shoulders gave him was unmatched.

"Arlen." Ravi’s voice was almost inaudible. "I am sorry for being so clingy.’’

"Don’t say that. You still have a long distance to go. You are like Level 1; there are still 9 more levels to go."

Ravi chuckled, and he pulled away, lifting his head to look at Arlen.

"I am the one that should be sorry. I was carried away. How long have you been feeling this way, love?"

Ravi thought for a while, "I am not sure. Maybe four days. You stopped coming to pick up in the office or just check in on us. And... You take so long to reply. Sometimes, you don’t reply at all. I was...unsure. I don’t want to be selfish. And I understand, that you are busy and you shouldn’t be distracted in the middle of a rescue operation but even though my mind understands..." He rubbed his chest. "My heart... I miss you, and I felt lonely."

He felt Arlen squeezing his hand even tighter with every word he said.

"I am sorry. It was not my intention to make you feel like that or to hurt you. I never want to hurt you, Ravi." Arlen paused; there was an imperceptible quiver of choking in his voice. "You know when the Netherworld Emperor took you away, I could not do anything. I could not even stop him."

Ravi wanted to say that even he could not stop the Yama King, but he bit his tongue, allowing Arlen to speak.

"I have never felt so helpless. If you needed my help, I could not even do anything for you. My mind understood the power disparity, but I think my heart could not let go. When the EAC came, I went to help. I made a difference. It made me feel...strong, and I think I got carried away with that feeling. I think I just wanted to prove something." To you, it went unsaid. He rubbed his head. Heaven, he had even forgotten to take Ash and Sage to the game.

"Min Sol." Ravi called out, his eyes widening. Arlen had always been so bright and so warm that Ravi never imagined that he was being weighed down by something like this. "You should..."

"I should not compare myself to someone who has probably lived for more than a thousand years..."

"A million years. He is one of the oldest immortals in the universe." Ravi interjected before biting his lips. Was that really necessary information right now?

"Wow. He is old. I know that I should not compare myself to him and that I should not feel guilty about things I cannot control. I know all that." He was silent for a while.

"You don’t need to prove anything to me." Ravi said after the silence settled in, "You never have to prove anything to me, Arlen."

Ravi stood up and carried the cups to the sink. "You know, that day at the hospital that you jumped down to catch the Ignitor, I thought you were the most dazzling sight I had ever seen. And the next Friday, you came over because you thought I was sick, you brought soup, and you hugged me because you thought I was sick." He still remembered the way he had been held, so carefully, so warmly, as if they felt like he could shatter, as if he was just an ordinary person. That was the day the thought entered his mind for the first time: he wanted to have this person.

"You are the kindest person I have ever had, Arlen. I can think of a hundred instances you showed just the type of person you are. You are a beautiful, brave, kind person." He looked at him; the awe in Ravi’s eyes could not be denied. "I have met so many brave, kind people. Among all of them, you are the brightest. Arlen, you gave me hope. You are more than enough. Never doubt that." Ravi reached out to hold Arlen’s hands, grey eyes focused on blue ones; he needed him to believe it.

"You are more than enough, Min Sol. Promise me you would never doubt that. Ever."

"I won’t. You have to promise me something too."

"Anything."

Arlen smiled, "That you would not doubt how much I love you, Ravi." And Ravi had never heard Arlen sound so serious, like he was making a vow: "In this world, Ravi, and in the next, there is nothing I would put above you. You are all I need. No matter what you have done or what you would do in the future, whatever you are, you are all I need. Ravi, even if I forget or reincarnate, you must remember you are the most important part of my life. You are all I need."

You are all I need. Those words quietly carved themselves into Ravi’s heart.

Their lips found each other. It was as if he had sunk to the bottom of the sea, only relying on the other’s breath for air.