I Abandoned My Beast Cubs for the Protagonist... Oops?-Chapter 25: Three Trials

Three monkeys appeared holding what looked like giant feathers from some kind of tropical bird, and descended on the Dragon.

"NO! NOT THE FEATHERS! ANYTHING BUT—AHAHAHA! STOP! I’LL INCINERATE YOU ALL!"

But his threats were hollow. Despite his power, despite his rage, Cāng Jì couldn’t bring himself to actually hurt them. Maybe it was some ancient code, or maybe he knew that killing monkeys would bring down the wrath of every beast tribe in existence.

Either way, he was losing.

"Bai Yue!" he shrieked, managing to spot her through the writhing mass of fur. "Do something! Use your......your female wiles! Negotiate! PLEASE!"

She bit her lip, trying very hard not to laugh at the sight of the proud Dragon Prince covered head to toe in chittering monkeys. "Um.....Your Majesty?" she addressed Hóu Wáng carefully. "Monkey King, sir? What exactly do you want?"

The old monkey’s eyes gleamed. "What do I want?" He stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Well, that depends. How badly does sparkles over there want his stone back?"

"VERY BADLY!" Cāng Jì screamed, currently being used as a climbing frame by at least seven juvenile monkeys. "I’LL DO ANYTHING! JUST MAKE IT STOP!"

"Anything?" Hóu Wáng’s grin widened impossibly further.

"YES! ANYTHING!"

The Monkey King looked at Bai Yue, then at his grandson, then back at the struggling Dragon. His expression shifted into something that made Bai Yue’s survival instincts start screaming.

"Alright then," Hóu Wáng declared, his voice carrying across the clearing. "I, Hóu Wáng, Monkey King of the Golden Tribe, issue a formal challenge! If the great Cāng Jì wants his precious stone back, he must complete......"

He paused for dramatic effect.

"...THE THREE TRIALS OF HUMILITY!"

Every monkey in the clearing stopped what they were doing. The sudden silence was deafening.

Cāng Jì, disheveled and panting, his hair sticking up in seventeen different directions, stared at the Monkey King. "The......what?"

"Three trials!" Hóu Xián bounced excitedly. "Oh, this is going to be good! Grandfather only brings out the Trials for special occasions!"

"What kind of trials?" Bai Yue asked suspiciously.

Hóu Wáng’s smile was absolutely evil. "Oh, simple things. Tasks that will prove whether this arrogant lizard has any humility in that golden heart of his." He began counting on his fingers. "Trial One: The Dragon must spend one full day living as a monkey. Sleeping in the trees, eating with his hands, grooming his companions—"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

"Trial Two," the Monkey King continued, ignoring the outburst, "The Dragon must perform the Sacred Dance of Apology in front of the entire tribe—"

"I WILL DO NO SUCH THING!"

"And Trial Three..." Hóu Wáng leaned in close to Cāng Jì, his voice dropping to a whisper that somehow carried to everyone present. "The Dragon must sincerely, genuinely, and publicly.....apologize for burning our sacred tree."

The clearing went dead silent.

Cāng Jì’s face cycled through emotions so fast Bai Yue couldn’t track them all. Rage. Disgust. Horror. Indignation. And finally......maybe fear.

"You... you want me to... apologize?" He said the word like it physically hurt him.

"Unless you want my grandson to keep your stone as a very expensive gut decoration," Hóu Wáng said cheerfully. "Your choice, sparkles!"

Bai Yue watched the Dragon Prince’s face carefully. She see him considering it, weighing his pride against his desperate need for the Lumina-Stone.

Finally, Cāng Jì closed his eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath.

"Fine," he ground out. "I accept your trials."

The monkeys erupted into cheers, chattering and whooping so loudly that birds fled from the trees.

"Excellent!" Hóu Wáng clapped his hands together. "We begin at dawn tomorrow! Rest up, Dragon Prince. You’re going to need it!"

The monkeys began to disperse, swinging back into the canopy with the same chaotic energy they had arrived with. Within moments, the clearing was nearly empty save for Hóu Wáng, Hóu Xián, Bai Yue, and a thoroughly traumatized Cāng Jì.

The Dragon slumped against a tree, looking more defeated than Bai Yue had ever seen him. His perfect hair was a disaster. His silks were torn. There was a small monkey handprint on his cheek.

"I hate monkeys," he whispered into the universe. "I hate them so much."

"We know!" Hóu Xián called cheerfully, already halfway up a tree. "That’s what makes this so fun! See you tomorrow, sparkles! Don’t be late, or we’ll come find you! And trust me, you don’t want that!"

He vanished into the leaves with a final mocking cackle.

Bai Yue walked over to Cāng Jì carefully, like approaching a wounded animal. "Are you......okay?"

"Do I look okay?" he snapped, gesturing at himself. "I have been assaulted by monkeys, star-thief. Monkeys! I am being punished! This is all your fault thief!"

"I’m sorry!...Well," Bai Yue said carefully, "at least you’ll get your stone back?"

"IF I survive," Cāng Jì groaned, sliding down the tree until he was sitting in the dirt. "The Sacred Dance of Apology......do you know what that entails? Do you have any idea?"

"No?"

"Neither do I."

Before Bai Yue could respond, a familiar voice cut through the clearing.

"What. In the name of the Great Spirit. Happened here?"

She turned to see Mo Xiao, and Zhāo Yàn standing at the edge of the clearing. Both looked like they had run here at full speed, and were staring at the disheveled Dragon Prince with varying degrees of shock and poorly-hidden amusement.

"Oh! Hi!" Bai Yue waved weakly. "So, funny story—"

"The monkeys have declared war," Cāng Jì interrupted flatly. "Well, not war. Worse than war. They have declared humiliation. I have to complete three trials or I will never get my stone back."

Zhāo Yàn’s lips twitched. "Trials?"

"Don’t," Cāng Jì warned, pointing a shaking finger at the Fox Lord. "Don’t you dare laugh. I can still incinerate you where you stand."

"I’m not laughing," Zhāo Yàn said, very clearly about to laugh.

Mo Xiao stepped forward, ever the diplomatic panther. "What kind of trials?"

"The kind designed to destroy what little dignity I have left," the Dragon muttered.

From somewhere high in the canopy, Hóu Xián’s voice echoed down: "Oh, and sparkles? Better bring the female with you tomorrow! You will need moral support! And someone to catch you when you inevitably faint from embarrassment!"

"I DO NOT FAINT!"

"We’ll see!" More mocking laughter, getting further away.

As they started to make their way back to the village, Cāng Jì walking like a man going to his execution, none of them noticed the small figure perched high in the tallest tree.

Hóu Wáng sat there, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction, turning the glowing Lumina-Stone over and over in his wrinkled hands. His grandson had spat it out again, and had rinsed it.

"Three trials," he murmured to himself, grinning. "Oh, sparkles. If you only knew what I have planned."

He glanced down at his grandson, who was hanging upside-down from a branch nearby.

"Do you think he’ll actually do it?" Hóu Xián asked.

The old Monkey King’s smile widened, showing all his teeth.

"Oh, he will do it. His pride won’t let him fail. And that..." He chuckled darkly, "is exactly what makes this so perfect."

He looked at the stone one more time, watching it pulse with its ethereal blue light.

"But first..." Hóu Wáng’s expression turned thoughtful, "we need to make sure the trials are absolutely, completely, utterly..."

"Impossible?" Hóu Xián suggested hopefully.

"No, grandson." The Monkey King’s grin turned absolutely diabolical. "Just embarrassing enough to be legendary."

And with that, he threw back his head and laughed, a sound that echoed through the forest and sent every nearby creature running for cover.

Tomorrow was going to be very interesting.