How to Get Girls, Get Rich, and Rule the World (Even If You're Ugly)-Chapter 41: How to get to a city that wants you dead (1)

The heat felt thicker here. It wasn’t just the sun — it was the kind of heat that blends with tension, that clings to your skin and makes every breath feel like a mistake. The road ahead, until now deserted, was now partially blocked by three mounted figures and two more on foot, all of them wearing the expression of men who didn’t believe in coincidences — much less in lone travelers with genuine luck.

My eyes swept the scene before a single word was spoken. The larger rocks off the roadside... good for ambushes. The tall brush to the north probably hid more people. Their horses were thin, but well-outfitted. They weren’t just hunting for coins. They were used to intimidation. To collecting.

"Stay where you are," one of them shouted, his voice rough — like it had been sanded down by smoke and bad intentions.

I raised a hand in peace, but didn’t let go of my pickaxe. Thalia, a few steps behind me, kept her gaze locked on the men, one hand drifting subtly toward the side of her satchel — as if it held something more than fabric and patches.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen," I said, with the smile I used when trying to sell a lie gift-wrapped as truth. "Can I help you with something? Or are you just admiring my outfit?"

The one who seemed to be the leader dismounted with exaggerated weight, like each step was saying I am the problem. He had a scraggly beard, sunken eyes, and a scar along his jaw that made it look like smiling was an act of violence against his own face.

"Nice clothes. Ugly face. Let’s keep it simple: you give us the coin, the supplies, and the girl, and no one has to die."

I sighed. So this was it.

The first human threat since leaving Ashveil.

And, as usual, no subtlety.

"Look, I get the impulse," I said, keeping my voice low. "I’ve tried stealing things that didn’t belong to me. But this time... it’s not going to work out for you."

"Oh, it will," said another one — one of the guys on foot, drawing a dagger that shimmered blue. "Worked before. It’ll work again."

"Solid argument," I muttered. "Banditry statistics — always a fun read."

Another one stepped closer, eyeing Thalia like a wrapped package ready for shipping.

"She’s coming with us. She’ll fetch a nice price."

Thalia stepped half a pace back. I caught the way she breathed in — not out of fear, but disgust.

"Try it," she said, voice steady, eyes blazing. "I dare you."

I smiled to the side.

"See? She doesn’t like being underestimated. Or kidnapped. Bad habits, really. You guys should try gardening. Or treasure hunting. Robbing ugly, dangerous people is a profession with awful benefits."

The leader frowned and unsheathed his sword with an irritated rasp of steel.

"Last chance."

"Exactly," I echoed. "Your last chance. Turn around. Let two travelers and a mule get on with their day."

The sword lowered slightly. The others tensed.

And I knew — words weren’t going to work anymore.

The air shifted. Got heavier. Denser. Like the whole forest was holding its breath, waiting for the snap.

I counted. Two in front. Probably three hidden to the sides. Uneven terrain. Advantage: theirs. But arrogance? All mine.

I murmured to Thalia without taking my eyes off them:

"When I give the signal, run to the far side of the road. If you can, throw rocks. If you can’t, just don’t die."

"That’s your plan?"

"It’s the best I’ve got for now."

She nodded — the kind of nod you give when you’re choosing between trusting a lunatic or dying outright.

The leader stepped forward.

I took a deep breath, felt mana stir again — weak, but present — and reached for the amulet at my belt, still warm from the forest monster’s corpse.

If I was going to use it, it had to be now.

But before I could make a move, I heard the sound I really didn’t want to hear.

"Hey, we’ve got company..." one of the men on the left grunted.

From the bushes, two more emerged — armed. Reinforcements. Just waiting for a spark.

And then, out of the corner of my eye... something else moved.

More shadows. But not theirs.

I was already mid-step, about to cast the first spell — pickaxe ready, jaw clenched, every nerve on high alert — when the sound of hooves tearing across the road cut through everything. Like dry thunder slicing through the underbrush — fast, urgent.

The bandit leader turned his head, a curse on the tip of his tongue — but it was too late.

From the top of the road, kicking up red dust under their galloping horses, a dozen figures emerged in formation. Gray armor, raised spears, and the banner of a nearby city — a flower over a split field — flapping in the wind.

Soldiers.

I swear on everything poorly stitched in this world, I thought: Oh, thank the gods. Rescue.

I thought.

Until one of them shouted:

"Step away from the girl! Drop your weapons!"

And pointed his spear at me.

Of course.

Chaos exploded instantly. The bandits spun to face their new enemies, caught between shock and panic. One of the slower ones tried to run but took a spear to the shoulder and collapsed like a sack of grain into the mud.

Swords clashed with metallic cracks, horses drove the bandits toward the roadside, and in less than two minutes the battlefield had become a mix of screams, dust, and the unpleasant crunch of teeth breaking under boots.

And me? I just stood there.

Pickaxe in hand. With a guard aiming a crossbow straight at my chest.

"Drop your weapon!" he shouted. "Step away from the girl!"

"But she’s not even tied up, for the love of—" I started, raising my hands.

"Obey the Antoril City Guard!" the rider barked.

"Racism before breakfast. Lovely," I sighed.

Thalia, of course, didn’t miss the opportunity.

She calmly dismounted the mule, brushed the dust from her dress, and stepped between me and the soldier.

"Excuse me," she said, with exaggerated sweetness. "This one’s not a bandit."

The guard hesitated.

"He’s not?"

"No. He’s mine."

Everyone froze.

"Yours...?" the soldier repeated.

"My personal guard. A sort of servant. Maybe a slave. Not very smart, but loyal. Trained to protect me. Doesn’t bite. Just yells."

My eyes went wide.

"What?!"

"Shh," she whispered, smiling over her shoulder. "I’m saving you."

The commander looked confused for a second. Looked at me. Then at Thalia. Then back to me.

"He looks... aggressive."

"He is aggressive," she said, folding her arms. "But he’s sweet with me."

I muttered curses far too colorful to transcribe.

The guard sighed and lowered his crossbow.

"Our apologies, miss. We didn’t know. These are dangerous times. The roads are crawling with trash like these," he gestured to the immobilized bandits. "If you’d like, we can escort you to the city. It’s risky to travel alone. Especially with such... peculiar company."

Thalia nodded slightly.

"Thank you. We’ll go with you."

And just like that, I was marching beside knights who couldn’t decide whether to arrest me or put a leash on me, while Thalia chatted politely with one of the vanguard soldiers.

The road flattened out, and signs of the city began to appear: reinforced wooden fences, small watchtowers, and the distant clang of forges and markets.

My pride was still bleeding a little, but at least I was alive. And technically, under official protection now.

"Slave, huh?" I muttered to her. ƒгeewёbnovel.com

"It was that or watch you get beaten up by an entire patrol," she replied, not even turning her head. "And let’s be honest: you look more like a mascot than a hero."

"You’re gonna pay for that."

"You’ll have to survive to collect."

I smiled.

I still didn’t trust this city. Or those soldiers. But between being alone on the road or surrounded by spears that might protect me...

Well. For now, it would do.