How To End This Marriage-Chapter 35: A Clash of Emotions

"Duchess, are you coming for dinner?" I heard Vix’s voice, which brought me back to my senses.

"No, I will be in my room," I replied, my focus returning to the account books of the mansion.

"Should I bring dinner here?" Vix asked once more. However, my mind was still preoccupied with the numbers, and I nodded absentmindedly.

Before I could regain full awareness and decline her offer, she had already set my dinner on the table in front of me. Meanwhile, the table I had been using was cluttered with old files. Some of them had already gathered dust, while others looked relatively untouched.

"Duchess, I have placed your dinner here. Please make sure to have it," Vix said as she tried to leave.

"Wait a minute!" I stopped her.

"Yes, Duchess?"

"Vix, how long have you been working in this mansion?" I asked.

She looked pensive for a moment, her expression reflecting the complexity of her memories. I waited patiently for her response.

"I actually have no idea when I was brought here. But I have spent my entire life here," she replied.

"Your entire life?" I inquired.

"Yes, my aunt brought me here. I’m not sure why, but she passed away a few years ago. The duke and duchess treated me like their daughter, so I’ve been working here ever since," she explained.

Her aunt brought her here? It raised more questions than answers. Did she not have parents, or was there some other reason behind her presence? The situation seemed rather puzzling to me. While there was no indication that Vix was lying, I couldn’t help but wonder about the circumstances that led to her becoming a part of the household. Why was she performing maid duties if she was considered a daughter figure?

"Duchess, do you want to know more about it?" Vix asked, her curiosity evident.

"Ah, no—"

I hadn’t even completed my sentence when I noticed Alex standing in the doorway.

"Madam, may I come inside?" he requested.

"Yes," I responded, turning my face away from Vix.

"You can return to your room," he said to Vix without acknowledging that I had invited her in. He didn’t seem to care whether or not I had work to do with her; he simply sent her away.

"Madam, why didn’t you come for dinner?" he inquired, as I had expected.

"I didn’t feel like it," I replied, focusing on meticulously recording the financial transactions in the account books.

"Madam, can’t you answer while looking at me?"

"You can do your work later when I leave." I replied with a slight smile, feeling a sense of satisfaction at the subtle shift in our dynamic.

"Duke, did you forget your own words? You married me to find someone who could manage the mansion. I am fulfilling that role. Why does it bother you?" I spoke.

"Yeah, I did say that, but can’t a husband and wife have a conversation?" he inquired, attempting to engage me.

"Husband and wife?" I echoed.

"Yes, aren’t we?" he replied.

"No, Duke, we are not," I asserted.

"If we aren’t, then what are we?" he persisted.

"Employee and employer," I declared, seizing the opportunity to voice my long-restrained feelings. I had been yearning to say this for a while.

"Madam!" he exclaimed, raising his voice at me.

"So, please don’t come to me if you don’t have anything specific to discuss. I’ll gladly accept any additional tasks related to managing the household or addressing significant issues. I will perform those duties efficiently. However, please don’t come to my room asking about my dinner or whether I’ve eaten. Furthermore, do not issue orders to people without first calling them," I expressed, my heart racing as I spoke.

"Are you referring to Vix?" he inquired.

"If you know, then there’s no need to ask," I replied.

"Madam, I understand you may not know this, but please don’t make her do these trivial chores," he requested.

"Why?" I probed.

"Just don’t. I will hire another maid for you, so don’t burden yourself with these tasks," he said before leaving.

I was taken aback by his response. Hadn’t he come here to inquire about my dinner initially? Wasn’t he worried about me? Then why did he shift the conversation to Vix and dismiss her when he had come for an entirely different reason?

Duke, is this what I think it is? Alex, don’t tell me this is why you see me as insignificant. Don’t tell me... do you have feelings for her?

I couldn’t comprehend what was happening. Why were tears streaming down my face uncontrollably? Why was my heart aching so intensely? Hadn’t I promised myself that I wouldn’t allow myself to appear weak? So why were these emotions piercing my heart so deeply?

***

"Duchess."

"Duchess."

"Duchess."

Had I fallen asleep here?

I abruptly sat up at the sound of my name.

"Duchess, did you sleep here last night?" Vix asked, her concern evident.

"Ignore me," I muttered, avoiding eye contact with her.

"No, Duchess, it’s important," she insisted.

"Let me give you a massage. Your shoulders must be sore," she suggested, reaching out to touch me. I pulled away abruptly.

"Can’t you hear me? I said no!" I shouted, my heart pounding.

"Duchess? Is something wrong?" she inquired, still concerned.

"Sorry, this is my issue. You can go now. I can get ready by myself. You don’t need to worry about these trivial things," I told her.

I was aware that my behavior was erratic, but I couldn’t shake off the lingering feeling of Alex holding her close. I couldn’t stop picturing the two of them together, their bare bodies pressed against each other, his rough hands touching her face. I couldn’t stop imagining their intimate moments.

"No, stop!" I cried out. "I don’t want to see them like that. I can’t bear it. I can’t handle it!"

I was gasping for air, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Madam, is everything okay?" Vix asked, her concern deepening.

"Yes, everything is fine," I replied, although I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the letters in my hands. Excalibur had penned one of them, and I could practically hear his tears as I read his crooked handwriting.

"Duchess, should I bring those letters for you?" Vix asked.

"No, I can take them. You should ask what the duke wants," I said with a forced smile that made me feel rather pathetic.

I continued to struggle to conceal my emotions, but I couldn’t stop my mind from racing with intrusive thoughts. I imagined Alex holding her closely, their bodies pressed together intimately.

I couldn’t prevent my mind from conjuring images of the Duke passionately embracing her, their bare skin rubbing against each other.

The thought of his rough hands caressing her face and arousing her consumed my mind.

"No, stop!" I suddenly shouted out loud.

"No, I don’t want to see them like that."

"No, I can’t bear it."

"No, I can’t handle it!"

I gasped for air, feeling overwhelmed by my emotions. The weight of the situation pressed down on me, leaving me choking on the air around me.