How To End This Marriage-Chapter 105: Bleeding Emotions

"Duchess, Mistress has called you to her study," the maid came in, informing me.

"Okay, I will be there," I said, continuing to place my dresses in the closet.

"But she told me to call you this instant," the maid insisted. I left all my dresses and ran to her study, fearing that if I didn’t arrive on time, something terrible would happen.

"You’re here! I’m glad you made it on time," she said, placing many ledgers in front of me.

"What is this?" I asked, bewildered.

"These are the tasks you need to perform. As a duchess, you have to oversee these," she explained.

"Bu-" Before I could voice my concerns, she cut me off, saying, "Don’t worry; I will take care of the practical work. You may not be used to all of this." With that, she walked towards the exit.

"Yes, and if I find you neglecting your responsibilities, there will be severe consequences," she added with a smile and left me there, surrounded by ledgers and dust. I had no idea how long these ledgers had been used, but they seemed to be several years old, with no recent entries.

I flipped through each page, trying to understand how the mansion and the estate operated, but the information was not clearly documented. It consisted mainly of numbers, calculations, and deductions from a certain sum, with no clear explanations. Still, I persevered and asked a maid for information.

"Yes, madam, did you call me?" the maid inquired.

"Yes, I did," I replied. "Could you tell me how many people are employed in this mansion and the reasons for their salaries?"

"I’m not entirely sure about everyone, but we maids receive salaries, as do the head maids who receive higher pay. Then there are the guards, knights, chefs, gardeners, cleaners, and more," she explained.

"Thank you; you can go now," I said and returned to my task. There were over two hundred people on the payroll, with maids being the largest group. Perhaps the gardeners received the lowest salaries, so I adjusted the figures accordingly.

I continued organizing the ledgers when the duchess re-entered the room. It had been three hours since she left, and I hadn’t had lunch, as I was bound by her orders.

"Bernice!" Her voice sounded far from friendly.

"Yes, mother, can I help you with something?" I asked, but before I could complete my sentence, she slapped me across the face, causing me to fall to the floor. I couldn’t hear anything for a moment, as my ears rang.

"What did I say? I told you to do as I say, but you insist on meddling with everything," she shouted, her eyes wide with anger.

"I-I didn’t..." I still tried to explain.

"I handed you these ledgers to review and update based on the previous records. But who gave you permission to call a maid and inquire about it? Did I authorize you to interfere in everything?" Her glare terrified me.

"I didn’t mean to," I responded in a low voice.

"You didn’t mean to, and yet everything went wrong? You thought you could take control of everything on your first day, didn’t you? I knew it. That’s why your father, Marquis Kael, gave you away, fully aware of Alex’s reputation. Both you and your family are driven by greed," she accused, each word feeling like a needle piercing my skin.

She grabbed me by the face, squeezing my cheeks tightly and causing me to cry out in pain. "This punishment is far too lenient. Today, you will stay here. No lunch or dinner will be served to you. You will work throughout the night to finish the remaining tasks," she declared before pushing me to the floor and walking away.

I stayed on the floor for a moment, but soon I gathered the strength to rise and walked back to the table to resume my work. I had lost sight of what my future held. The very first day felt like a living hell, and I wondered what kind of pain I would endure throughout my life. I mumbled to myself as I continued to sift through the ledgers. No one entered the room, per the duchess’s orders. The sun started to set, and I hadn’t been served lunch or even a single drop of water to recover, but I pushed on.

As I wrote, I noticed a blood drop on the paper, which filled me with fear. I touched my nose and realized that blood was dripping from it. I tried to lift my head to prevent it from falling on the floor, but I failed, and the blood splattered here and there.

"What if she becomes angry again because of this? No, no, I can’t handle this," I whispered and frantically searched for water in the room, but there was no water container. I rushed outside and headed for the kitchen, blood continuing to flow from my nose.

"Stop it! I can’t work like this!" I pleaded with myself as I hurried on and found a water jar on the kitchen shelf. I was about to pick it up when a massive shadow loomed over me.

"Wife?" the voice startled me.

"What are you doing here so late? Aren’t you going to sleep?" he asked. I didn’t turn to face him.

"Y-yes, I will." I picked up the jar and was about to leave when he stopped me again.

"Blood? Where is it coming from?" he said, noticing the blood on the counter.

"Ah, it’s nothing. I’ll clean it up," I said, trying to find a cloth to wipe it, but more blood kept coming, which was becoming frustrating.

"Wife, turn around!" he said, his voice sending chills down my spine.

"I’m cleaning, Duke. If you need something, just tell me," I stuttered.

"Bernice Balliol Agnes, turn around!" I was overcome with goosebumps and reluctantly turned to let him see the blood dripping from my nose and the painful swelling on my cheek.

"Wife, what’s happening? Why are you bleeding? Why is your cheek like this?" he asked, genuine concern in his voice. Still, my mind told me it could be the concern anyone would show, even for an animal. You’re no different.

"It’s nothing; I’m running late," I said, and I rushed back to the study before the duchess could find out. I didn’t want to imagine what would happen if I delayed any longer in finishing my work. She might just kill me out of frustration.

As soon as I reached the study, I began wiping the blood off the paper. However, as I wiped the stain, it continued to gather on my nose, prompting me to tear a piece of my own dress and press it to my nose to stop the bleeding. Thankfully, the bleeding finally ceased. I let out a sigh of relief and continued cleaning.

"It’s done now! Bernice, you did it!" I muttered to myself, sitting down once again to calculate the amounts and prepare the budget. The first rays of sunlight bathed my face, making me realize it was morning. Shortly after, a maid entered the room.

"Duchess, you should clean up!" she suggested. I got up with my torn dress, and she guided me to my room, where she prepared a calming bath. After cleaning me from head to toe, I had a few moments to rest.

"Please dispose of this dress. It’s soaked in blood," I told the maid.

"As you say, Duchess," she responded, and then she helped me get ready for breakfast. I was famished.

"Greetings, Mother!"

"Greetings, Duke!" I smiled as much as I could and took my seat.

"I hope you had a good rest," my mother-in-law said, even though my dark circles were hard to conceal.

"Yes, Mother, I did," I said, smiling, and began taking small bites. I wanted to devour everything like an animal, but etiquette restrained me. That’s when the Duke spoke up, "Serve more portions to the Duchess." It startled me.

"Why?" my mother-in-law asked.

"She might be hungry," he replied.

"Alex, don’t you know women like to maintain their figure? How could she eat so much if she wants to stay fit and slim? Isn’t that right, Bernice?" she asked, looking at me, making me smile awkwardly.

"Ah, yes. There’s no need for more servings. I’m fine with what I have. It’s already quite a lot for me. I’m struggling to fit it all into my stomach," I replied.

"Oh, of course, don’t force yourself. You can leave if you can’t finish," my mother-in-law said, taking my food plate from me. I quickly got up and rushed to my room, tears falling silently, though my lips remained sealed.

"Duchess, if you wish, I can bring you something," the same maid said softly. 𝚏𝗿𝗲𝐞𝚠𝕖𝐛𝗻𝗼𝐯𝕖𝚕.𝚌𝗼𝗺

"No need. I’m not hungry," I replied, forcing a smile despite the tears streaming down my cheeks. My lips are saying something while my eyes are portraying other feelings to me. It’s painful.