Earning the Love of a Princess-Chapter 319: Violet: Duty First

Violet collapsed onto her bed the moment she heard the door slam behind Sancia. At first she just sat there, too frozen to even breathe properly. Gradually though, her tears began rolling down her cheeks and gathered pace until she was sobbing uncontrollably.

She let herself cry harder than she had in years. She wept for Sancia’s foolishness and and recklessness. She wept for her parents’ overweening ambition that would mean they likely agreed with what Sancia was doing. Perhaps one of them had even given her the idea to come to court just to seduce a prince.

Hell, she even found herself pitying the two young princes who’d dallied with her sister and were about to be drawn into her greedy schemes. The king wouldn’t hesitate to unleash his rage on them, especially William if that’s who Sancia was determined to point her finger at.

Most of all, Violet found that she cried for herself. She had spent the last six years as a Princess of Islia trying to salvage her tattered reputation, hoping people would forget the inauspicious start to her marriage. She had been graceful and elegant, showing the queen every courtesy, even when she wanted to slap her fleshy, disapproving face. She had turned a dignified blind eye towards Leo’s romps with other women. She had borne four children, including two healthy boys. In short, she’d done everything expected of the most senior princess in the land, even when sometimes it had been so, so hard.

But it wouldn’t matter. The people wouldn’t remember all her efforts. When Sancia’s condition became public knowledge, all they would remember is how Violet’s own pregnancy had left Leo no choice but to marry her. Their Duchy would be a laughingstock throughout Islia. Everyone would jest that all it took to marry a Devon prince was to open your legs and have Thierre as your family name.

Suddenly, she was startled by a knock. Violet looked around and realised her loud sobbing must’ve been heard even through the door.

She heard Elspeth’s tentative voice, "Your Grace-"

"Leave me alone!" Violet cried. "I just need to be left alone!"

All she wanted was a few uninterrupted moments where she could just let herself fall apart and just wallow in her pain. She’d pull herself together shortly, as she always did. She’d then go back to being the formidable Princess Violet of Islia. 𝐟𝐫𝕖𝗲𝘄𝚎𝗯𝕟𝐨𝕧𝐞𝚕.𝕔𝕠𝐦

She just needed a little time to be the hurting, unhappy woman behind her facade.

Only a few moments later, a much louder knock echoed through the room, along with a far deeper voice. "Violet! What’s wrong? I’m coming in."

The next moment, Leo marched into the room. He looked taken aback by what he saw - his usual frosty wife sprawled facedown on the bed, her face streaked with tears.

She was too tired to even try and compose herself.

"Is it the baby?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No, the baby is fine. She’s in the nursery."

"Then is it you? Are you in pain? I can call one of the midwives here to look over you." There was a measure of rough kindness in Leo’s voice that made Violet feel a tiny bit better.

"I’m not in pain." she managed to say. Slowly, she pulled herself to a sitting position and brushed back the hair stuck to her wet cheeks.

"Then what the fuck is it, Violet? Your maid came running to me in an absolute panic. You can probably hear your wailing in my mother’s rooms."

"Husband. Please just sit with me for a few moments." Violet said in a weary voice.

Leo eyed her from across the room, then approached the bed carefully. He moved like someone who was trying to tiptoe past a sleeping lion. Under other circumstances, she might have found it amusing.

He eventually sat down at the edge of the bed and stared at her, a mixture of curiosity and wariness on his face. She noticed the tiny lines starting to form around Leo’s eyes, evidence of his riotous pace of life. In another dozen years, he’d likely look very much like his own father.

Six years together and yet still strangers to each other in so many ways, Violet mused. We’ve never really opened up our hearts or thoughts to each other. Marriage has made us allies, partners but not friends.

"Do you regret marrying me?" she asked.

"What kind of question is that? Are you trying to catch me in some kind of riddle?" Leo’s brows pinched together over his pale blue eyes.

"No. It’s a genuine question. I want you to be honest." Violet said slowly. "Do you regret marrying me?"

Silence.

"Do you wish you’d married Ilse instead?"

Leo flinched a little as her heard her utter the name of a long dead woman. "Ilse...well, I don’t think I would’ve made her happy in the long run. In fact, I’m sure of it."

"What makes you say that? She loved you."

"I know and that was the problem." Leo blew out a long breath, pushing back his hair. "I couldn’t have lived up to that kind of sentiment and what it would’ve needed to survive. I’m not a faithful man. It’s not in my nature. In the end, I would’ve failed to give her what she wanted."

Violet nodded as she looked at his thoughtful face. It was perhaps the most honest conversation they’d ever had. "Did you love her in return?"

Leo’s eyes darted away evasively. "Our kind isn’t made for love, Violet. We know that royalty is responsibility above all. It’s a partnership in duty, not some romantic ballad. You understand that. I don’t think Ilse would have."

He hadn’t answered her question, yet he’d spoken nothing but the truth. It didn’t matter if Leo had been in love with Ilse - he would’ve still let her down eventually by not being the kind of husband she craved. Her heart would’ve been crushed by his infidelities. And he would’ve been unfaithful because men like Leo simply couldn’t help themselves. Maybe not right away, but he would’ve eventually given into temptation.

With another sigh, Leo patted her hand awkwardly and stood up. He strode towards the door before turning around to look at his wife again. "Is that what all this wailing is about? You and your sister?"

Yes but not the sister you think, a bitter voice inside Violet’s head replied. Out loud, she nodded and lied to him, "I think childbed has made me rather emotional. The midwives says it’s a common thing, even weeks after giving birth."

Leo nodded vaguely and she knew he wouldn’t ask anything her further about it. Leo was always uncomfortable and squeamish with anything that he referred to as womanly business. Murmuring he’d see her at dinner, he left the room and quietly closed the door behind him.

Violet lay back against the silken pillows, looking up at the gold embroidered bed canopy above. Her mind kept replaying Leo’s words, feeling hurt and yet also strangely soothed by them.

He’d admitted he’d married the sister better suited to endure the life of a princess. He’d married the wife that he needed to fulfill his role as a prince, not the one he’d wanted as a man. He’d put duty before love.

How very royal of him.

Violet couldn’t be disappointed that she couldn’t claim his love, because she’d never loved him either. Leo had merely been the prize she’d wanted to snatch from her sister’s grasp. And once she had him in her own clutches, he simply became the lever she’d use to become a queen.

We’ve both used each other to serve our own goals. That’s not love, that’s marriage.

Violet slowly got up from the bed and stood in front of her mirror. It was so much bigger and grander than the one in her mother’s bedchamber back in the Thierre’s manor house. She remembered how Ilse and her had posed and laughed in front of that mirror, imagining their futures.

Now she saw a woman in a lavish orange velvet dress dotted in pearls, with a pale face and rumpled sandy hair. Her eyes were red, her expression was pinched.

Taking a shaky breath, Violet smoothed out her full skirt and combed her hair with her fingers. She had a role to play and she’d be damned if she wasn’t going to play it with her usual frosty dignity.

When Sancia’s scandal eventually broke, the Crown Princess of Islia was going to endure the whispers and sideway glances with her head held high. When Leo found out what was happening and roared his displeasure over her silly younger sister - as he was bound to do - Violet was determined to face him boldly and without flinching.

And when Sancia eventually turned to her for help - as she was bound to do - Violet was determined to be deaf to her pleas. She had already paid for her own actions.

She refused to pay for Sancia’s as well.